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<blockquote data-quote="alanalouise" data-source="post: 409129" data-attributes="member: 11225"><p>Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses.</p><p> </p><p>Let me try to answer all of your questions....</p><p> </p><p>Yes, he did 4K for the year before K. No problems there at all. There were those normal times that sharing was hard for 4 year olds and someone got pushed or shoved but no outright violence. He just turned 6 in Jan so he isn't SUPER young for K. But, my little guy has always had issues with change and new stuff. I do suspect that K is overwhelming for him. It does seem that in social settings where he is less-supervised is when he has the most problems. The afterschool care is still great, in fact, when I picked him up today I asked the teachers there and they say he is great there - acts like every othere little boy there. When weather permits they come in off the bus, have a snack, and head outside. If the weather is bad they stay inside and just have the time to play, play, play. No pushing/hitting or other antics. That is a new place for him too (since the beginning of the school year). I actually thought he'd be having trouble there too but it's going great there.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, he does get consequences at school. Loses recess if he is rough at recess, loses choice time (5 min increments) for not listening/following directions, etc....has had to sit out of classes for other infractions. Was throwing food (it was not just him - several boys got in trouble for this....) and had to have lunch in the office, etc.... I also talked to husband to night about the school consequences staying at school and not following him home. So, we decided to talk about what happened, what he should have done, etc... and maybe how to do things differently. And then dropping it. I also liked the idea that any physical - aggressive behavior can result in the loss of electronics at home. We have been doing rewards for good days as well as earning stars on a chart for the nice extra things that he does and he can cash those in on a video, time on the Wii, a computer game, etc.... In fact today he fed and watered the dog without being asked and was being very respectful and kind to me and his sister. So he earned stars and it was so nice to be able to have something super nice to talk to him about instead of how he had a rough day at school. He is such a sweet boy - I could talk all day about the wonderful things about him. He has the most fantastic sense of humor and a laugh to die for. I so badly wish all of his teachers at school could see what we see at home. </p><p> </p><p>As far as I am aware he is not being mistreated anywhere. But, I know sometimes that you just don't know it is happending. I do have some spies (the bus driver and a school aide are personal friends of ours and have been watching for him and seeing what he does - no bad reports that his being bullied.) It is something for sure to watch for. Thanks for the heads up. I also know that he is super sensitive to what others do and say to him. The suggestion that he may percieve that someone is being mean to him is a real possibility. </p><p> </p><p>MidwestMom - I am in the La Crosse Area.</p><p> </p><p>I have an email to the school psyschologist and hopefull we will have a mtg on Monday. </p><p> </p><p>I am also a bit frustrated that he had written a "sorry" note to a child that he had kicked on Monday and he didn't know the young man's name. So, we had a note to his teacher and asked her to help him find the boy to give him the note. My son said that the teacher didn't help him find the child. Certainly I was not there so I don't know how that went down but he was disappointed about that and so was I. It could be that she was just busy and was going to help him later, but still.....</p><p> </p><p>I hope we get something going soon that helps. I am beginning not to sleep well because I worry so much about this. I don't expect perfection here, I just want to help my little man. I just want to curl up around him and protect him because I know how sensitive he is. Never has been sensitive to clothing, outside influences... but emotionally. It's just him. Even as an infant he was that way. He would cry if anyone he didn't know would hold him - even at just weeks old. He takes forever to get used to new people/places, feelings hurt very easily, and holds on to hurts for a long time. Ok, so that is a lot like me......</p><p> </p><p>Thanks everyone so much for your thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alanalouise, post: 409129, member: 11225"] Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses. Let me try to answer all of your questions.... Yes, he did 4K for the year before K. No problems there at all. There were those normal times that sharing was hard for 4 year olds and someone got pushed or shoved but no outright violence. He just turned 6 in Jan so he isn't SUPER young for K. But, my little guy has always had issues with change and new stuff. I do suspect that K is overwhelming for him. It does seem that in social settings where he is less-supervised is when he has the most problems. The afterschool care is still great, in fact, when I picked him up today I asked the teachers there and they say he is great there - acts like every othere little boy there. When weather permits they come in off the bus, have a snack, and head outside. If the weather is bad they stay inside and just have the time to play, play, play. No pushing/hitting or other antics. That is a new place for him too (since the beginning of the school year). I actually thought he'd be having trouble there too but it's going great there. Yes, he does get consequences at school. Loses recess if he is rough at recess, loses choice time (5 min increments) for not listening/following directions, etc....has had to sit out of classes for other infractions. Was throwing food (it was not just him - several boys got in trouble for this....) and had to have lunch in the office, etc.... I also talked to husband to night about the school consequences staying at school and not following him home. So, we decided to talk about what happened, what he should have done, etc... and maybe how to do things differently. And then dropping it. I also liked the idea that any physical - aggressive behavior can result in the loss of electronics at home. We have been doing rewards for good days as well as earning stars on a chart for the nice extra things that he does and he can cash those in on a video, time on the Wii, a computer game, etc.... In fact today he fed and watered the dog without being asked and was being very respectful and kind to me and his sister. So he earned stars and it was so nice to be able to have something super nice to talk to him about instead of how he had a rough day at school. He is such a sweet boy - I could talk all day about the wonderful things about him. He has the most fantastic sense of humor and a laugh to die for. I so badly wish all of his teachers at school could see what we see at home. As far as I am aware he is not being mistreated anywhere. But, I know sometimes that you just don't know it is happending. I do have some spies (the bus driver and a school aide are personal friends of ours and have been watching for him and seeing what he does - no bad reports that his being bullied.) It is something for sure to watch for. Thanks for the heads up. I also know that he is super sensitive to what others do and say to him. The suggestion that he may percieve that someone is being mean to him is a real possibility. MidwestMom - I am in the La Crosse Area. I have an email to the school psyschologist and hopefull we will have a mtg on Monday. I am also a bit frustrated that he had written a "sorry" note to a child that he had kicked on Monday and he didn't know the young man's name. So, we had a note to his teacher and asked her to help him find the boy to give him the note. My son said that the teacher didn't help him find the child. Certainly I was not there so I don't know how that went down but he was disappointed about that and so was I. It could be that she was just busy and was going to help him later, but still..... I hope we get something going soon that helps. I am beginning not to sleep well because I worry so much about this. I don't expect perfection here, I just want to help my little man. I just want to curl up around him and protect him because I know how sensitive he is. Never has been sensitive to clothing, outside influences... but emotionally. It's just him. Even as an infant he was that way. He would cry if anyone he didn't know would hold him - even at just weeks old. He takes forever to get used to new people/places, feelings hurt very easily, and holds on to hurts for a long time. Ok, so that is a lot like me...... Thanks everyone so much for your thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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