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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 214322" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I can see for MILES and MILES and MILES and MILES and MILES..........</p><p> </p><p>(thanks for that now there's a song stuck in my head) along with bunches of other things....</p><p> </p><p>Maybe this will help - </p><p> </p><p>My son was "black listed" from 15 day cares in a dual-county area. Yeah - you try being a single Mom and loose a job (40k a year to start) and then pick up your kid at daycare to hear "I don't think the parents are going to sue, but you cant' bring Dude back tomorrow, I'm sorry." <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sick.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sick:" title="sick :sick:" data-shortname=":sick:" /> - </p><p>So you head to the next day care and they ask your name and then his name and then say in an UT OHHH tone - "I'm so sorry we have no openings." I think at times I had to leave my son at the daycare from hell. I have guilt - but MAN was he a handfull. I don't think I'd be able to handle any other boy like that without knowing what I know now - and now I'm too 'smart' to want to do it again - lol. </p><p> </p><p>Also we've had my son on 64 medications over his young 18 year life. Not much we havent' tried - hypnosis, tdocs, family therapy, dancing naked in the moonlight with chicken livers taped to my elbows changing to the moon goddess - MAKE HIM BETTER......make him beeeeeeetttter. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/surprise.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":surprise:" title="surprise :surprise:" data-shortname=":surprise:" /> (and yes I'm HUGELY popular with my neighbors) <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/laugh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":laugh:" title="laugh :laugh:" data-shortname=":laugh:" /></p><p> </p><p>I think a few key things that helped were learning that this IS a disorder. It's controllable - his behaviors are controllable - and tough love is going to be your #1 ally in this war. My biggest hurdle was KNOWING that if I allowed tough love to happen - it would be A LOT harder on me.....not to mention that you begin to think these kids will NEVER EVER learn. </p><p> </p><p>You find yourself asking - "How many times do i have to?? fill in the blank." to the point of exhaustion. Keep in mind there is no magic pill, no magic dance - and a good thing I recommend is getting in with a good therapist and stick with it. Both of you - go 2x a week - once for him once for you to "catch up" on how things are going so the behaviors don't have a week or more to get handled. And learn HOW to communicate effectively. Everyone thinks they know how to talk to people - you're either nice or your not - but not so. You can be ugly when you are being nice and not know it. Find a course in effective communication - worth it's weight in gold. </p><p> </p><p>Glad to see you came to the table with this - we're here - we listen and sometimes that's all any of us can do for each other. Get educated and find out what your sons rights are in school - with IEP's and 504's. Tweek his medications - stick to consequences and learn the words - SHORT TERM Goals and SHORT TERM consequences. Sometimes it's better if you have to punish for 30 minutes rather than 3 days - these kids need mynah bird repetetiveness to learn. </p><p> </p><p>Glad you found us =</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 214322, member: 4964"] I can see for MILES and MILES and MILES and MILES and MILES.......... (thanks for that now there's a song stuck in my head) along with bunches of other things.... Maybe this will help - My son was "black listed" from 15 day cares in a dual-county area. Yeah - you try being a single Mom and loose a job (40k a year to start) and then pick up your kid at daycare to hear "I don't think the parents are going to sue, but you cant' bring Dude back tomorrow, I'm sorry." :sick: - So you head to the next day care and they ask your name and then his name and then say in an UT OHHH tone - "I'm so sorry we have no openings." I think at times I had to leave my son at the daycare from hell. I have guilt - but MAN was he a handfull. I don't think I'd be able to handle any other boy like that without knowing what I know now - and now I'm too 'smart' to want to do it again - lol. Also we've had my son on 64 medications over his young 18 year life. Not much we havent' tried - hypnosis, tdocs, family therapy, dancing naked in the moonlight with chicken livers taped to my elbows changing to the moon goddess - MAKE HIM BETTER......make him beeeeeeetttter. :surprised1: (and yes I'm HUGELY popular with my neighbors) :funny: I think a few key things that helped were learning that this IS a disorder. It's controllable - his behaviors are controllable - and tough love is going to be your #1 ally in this war. My biggest hurdle was KNOWING that if I allowed tough love to happen - it would be A LOT harder on me.....not to mention that you begin to think these kids will NEVER EVER learn. You find yourself asking - "How many times do i have to?? fill in the blank." to the point of exhaustion. Keep in mind there is no magic pill, no magic dance - and a good thing I recommend is getting in with a good therapist and stick with it. Both of you - go 2x a week - once for him once for you to "catch up" on how things are going so the behaviors don't have a week or more to get handled. And learn HOW to communicate effectively. Everyone thinks they know how to talk to people - you're either nice or your not - but not so. You can be ugly when you are being nice and not know it. Find a course in effective communication - worth it's weight in gold. Glad to see you came to the table with this - we're here - we listen and sometimes that's all any of us can do for each other. Get educated and find out what your sons rights are in school - with IEP's and 504's. Tweek his medications - stick to consequences and learn the words - SHORT TERM Goals and SHORT TERM consequences. Sometimes it's better if you have to punish for 30 minutes rather than 3 days - these kids need mynah bird repetetiveness to learn. Glad you found us = Star [/QUOTE]
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