volusia799
New Member
My 24 y/o son is in jail for drug paraphenilia (sp?) posession. He was arrested a yr ago for stealing mail from peoples mailboxes but we (wife and I) bailed him out and pd the attorney $500 (which we got back- PD), spend at least $400 in phone calls to the jail in the 10 days he was in jail.
His wife was put in jail a few hrs earlier for going "crazy" as her mother puts it. She is, at a minimum, bipolar, and our son , who knows?, he has beed diagnosed in high school as ADD, and again in his early 20's as depressive d/o, and of course the doctor(by a large college) gave him a script for benzo's. He is not compliant with and of the medications prescribed to him, other than OD if he thinks they will get him high, 1 bottle of 60-90 benzo's gone in less than a week.
He and his wife lived at our house for 6 mth, 4-5 p/t jobs, but he couldnt hold a job, wake up late, late to work, run out of gas, then sit at home for days/weeks not looking for work, promising he would. We found the kids stealing medications of me and my wifes. Anything they thought would get them high). When they left to live with her parents, we found some needles (which I use for testosterone shots) in the bottom of one of the vases in their room.
There is a lot more to this story.....of course. His mom and I both work full-time respectable jobs, she stayed home to care for him in his early years (0-12 yrs old), and we thought we did right in bringing him up.
As the cops were taking him out of the in-laws house, the last thing he said to his mother in law, "be sure to call my parents tomorrow so they can bail me out!"
We don't want to bail him out. We can probably afford it, although we live paycheck to paycheck. There are so many "what-if's" being in jail.
I'm writing this not so much for advise, although any is appreciated, but writing this as a way of grieving and venting. We have spent at least $6000 on these kids in the last year, given him a car/paid 1st mth insurance, got him out of jail, let them live rent free (although we asked for $, gas money, trips to go back and see her folks. More than the money "invested" we have spent much of our emotions on him. Up/down/up/down. It's draining.
We (or I) am a pushover. He's our only child, and I am scared of losing him to a drug o/d, left on the streets, violence by his wife (domestic abuse), abuse in prison. I have a lot of guilt, what did I do wrong? Of course I know that as a caring father, I cannot always point the finger at myself. He is a man now. But when does one draw the line and say, "it's up to you now kid. No more $$ and bailouts from mom and dad."
Thank you for this forum. What a cloud that hangs over my head. Wondering when I'll get that phone call, "are you XYZ, and is your sons name ABC, we have some bad news....."
His wife was put in jail a few hrs earlier for going "crazy" as her mother puts it. She is, at a minimum, bipolar, and our son , who knows?, he has beed diagnosed in high school as ADD, and again in his early 20's as depressive d/o, and of course the doctor(by a large college) gave him a script for benzo's. He is not compliant with and of the medications prescribed to him, other than OD if he thinks they will get him high, 1 bottle of 60-90 benzo's gone in less than a week.
He and his wife lived at our house for 6 mth, 4-5 p/t jobs, but he couldnt hold a job, wake up late, late to work, run out of gas, then sit at home for days/weeks not looking for work, promising he would. We found the kids stealing medications of me and my wifes. Anything they thought would get them high). When they left to live with her parents, we found some needles (which I use for testosterone shots) in the bottom of one of the vases in their room.
There is a lot more to this story.....of course. His mom and I both work full-time respectable jobs, she stayed home to care for him in his early years (0-12 yrs old), and we thought we did right in bringing him up.
As the cops were taking him out of the in-laws house, the last thing he said to his mother in law, "be sure to call my parents tomorrow so they can bail me out!"
We don't want to bail him out. We can probably afford it, although we live paycheck to paycheck. There are so many "what-if's" being in jail.
I'm writing this not so much for advise, although any is appreciated, but writing this as a way of grieving and venting. We have spent at least $6000 on these kids in the last year, given him a car/paid 1st mth insurance, got him out of jail, let them live rent free (although we asked for $, gas money, trips to go back and see her folks. More than the money "invested" we have spent much of our emotions on him. Up/down/up/down. It's draining.
We (or I) am a pushover. He's our only child, and I am scared of losing him to a drug o/d, left on the streets, violence by his wife (domestic abuse), abuse in prison. I have a lot of guilt, what did I do wrong? Of course I know that as a caring father, I cannot always point the finger at myself. He is a man now. But when does one draw the line and say, "it's up to you now kid. No more $$ and bailouts from mom and dad."
Thank you for this forum. What a cloud that hangs over my head. Wondering when I'll get that phone call, "are you XYZ, and is your sons name ABC, we have some bad news....."
