whiteraven
New Member
Hi!
I'm new to the site, currently educating myself on ADHD, which my six year old is "strongly suspected" of having.
I am terrified of possibly having to medicate him. I've been so against medicating children all my life. But his behavior sometimes is so extreme that I feel he NEEDS something to make him feel better. But then I ask myself, "What if he doesn't have ADHD?" What if he doesn't have anything and the problem is not him, but my parenting techniques? I tell myself that this can't be the case... I'm an educated woman, I've read a lot on child development and behavior, I even took two university classes on early childhood development and behavioral management! But, who knows, perhaps it is me.
I am divorced and also have a 4 year old daughter, whose behavior is "normal."
My difficult child goes through cycles that consist of:
1. Good behavior, is pleasant, helpful, plays nicely.
2. Behavior starts to deteriorate: he loses focus on whatever he was doing or maybe he gets bored; he starts bothering/teasing/attacking his sister (I then ask him to stop and, as he continues, I end up yelling at him/scolding him) or asks for something that I cannot give him.
3. His reaction to both scenarios is a full blow out, crying, screaming, being destructive, or throwing things.
4. Then he calms down and goes back to Step 1.
On Step 2, he actually looks for things to be upset about (he will ask for things he knows he cannot get or he will start picking on his sister, my SO or myself in an increasingly unbearable way).
During his bad moments, he has said things like he hates himself because he can't control his behavior, that his brain doesn't work because it can't control his body, that he hates us all, that he wonders when he's going to die.
During his good moments, though, he is a genius: funny, bright, smart, engaging... a real pleasure to be around. He is doing very well at school academically (but having lots of behavioral problems).
I feel that something is just not right. I took him to see a LICSW who specializes in children and she suspects he has ADHD. Today I called his pediatrician and they recommended a neuropsychologist evaluation, so I called the school and they will do it. But then I read somewhere that the school's evaluation is not as comprehensive as a private neurologist's, so I'm not sure if I did the right thing.
I feel like I'm swimming in murky water, and I just want to do whatever is best for my son.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
-------------------------------
Me - 38, anxiety
SO - 45, normal
EX - 37, verbally abusive (mainly towards me), suspected ADD or ADHD
difficult child - 6, suspected ADHD
daughter - 4, normal
I'm new to the site, currently educating myself on ADHD, which my six year old is "strongly suspected" of having.
I am terrified of possibly having to medicate him. I've been so against medicating children all my life. But his behavior sometimes is so extreme that I feel he NEEDS something to make him feel better. But then I ask myself, "What if he doesn't have ADHD?" What if he doesn't have anything and the problem is not him, but my parenting techniques? I tell myself that this can't be the case... I'm an educated woman, I've read a lot on child development and behavior, I even took two university classes on early childhood development and behavioral management! But, who knows, perhaps it is me.
I am divorced and also have a 4 year old daughter, whose behavior is "normal."
My difficult child goes through cycles that consist of:
1. Good behavior, is pleasant, helpful, plays nicely.
2. Behavior starts to deteriorate: he loses focus on whatever he was doing or maybe he gets bored; he starts bothering/teasing/attacking his sister (I then ask him to stop and, as he continues, I end up yelling at him/scolding him) or asks for something that I cannot give him.
3. His reaction to both scenarios is a full blow out, crying, screaming, being destructive, or throwing things.
4. Then he calms down and goes back to Step 1.
On Step 2, he actually looks for things to be upset about (he will ask for things he knows he cannot get or he will start picking on his sister, my SO or myself in an increasingly unbearable way).
During his bad moments, he has said things like he hates himself because he can't control his behavior, that his brain doesn't work because it can't control his body, that he hates us all, that he wonders when he's going to die.
During his good moments, though, he is a genius: funny, bright, smart, engaging... a real pleasure to be around. He is doing very well at school academically (but having lots of behavioral problems).
I feel that something is just not right. I took him to see a LICSW who specializes in children and she suspects he has ADHD. Today I called his pediatrician and they recommended a neuropsychologist evaluation, so I called the school and they will do it. But then I read somewhere that the school's evaluation is not as comprehensive as a private neurologist's, so I'm not sure if I did the right thing.
I feel like I'm swimming in murky water, and I just want to do whatever is best for my son.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
-------------------------------
Me - 38, anxiety
SO - 45, normal
EX - 37, verbally abusive (mainly towards me), suspected ADD or ADHD
difficult child - 6, suspected ADHD
daughter - 4, normal