Newbie again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SeekingSerenity, Oct 4, 2007.

  1. SeekingSerenity

    SeekingSerenity New Member

    Hi my name is Debbie. I was a member here about 8 yrs ago when my son was first diagnosis with ADHD. I've had my ups and downs with my difficult child Brandon who is now 12, with the past few months being mostly down. His behavior has gotten so much worse. He won't hardly do anything I ask him to, he keeps telling me no and will start screaming when I repeat myself. It's a fight every day to get him to take his medications. He has uncontrollable crying episodes when he doesn't get his way. His self-esteem is in the dumps and he has this intense fear of germs that's really affecting his life. He doesn't want to be touched and when he touches something he will blow and shake his hands repeatedly. He's gotten to the point now where he doesn't even want me touching his food, saying he can't eat it because I've ruined it. He keeps getting in trouble at school and the other day the principal told me that she doesn't think that school is equipped to handle him. The only other choice being putting him in a behavior mod class which I have no problem with. He was in it for 3 yrs when he was younger and they did wonders with him. He was even able to stop taking his medications for almost 2 yrs. My friends are always telling me I need to do this or do that which their answer is usually spanking. I tell them it wouldn't do any good with him but they say I'm just spoiling him and letting him run over me. I'm at my wit's end, breaking down into tears just trying to get him to do a small chore. I decided to come back here because everyone helped me so much the first time and I just need to talk to people that know what I'm going through.

    Debbie
     
  2. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    How is the vyvanse working for the ADHD?

    Our most recent psychiatrist visit, the new psychiatrist told me that many ADHD symptoms are also symptoms of other disorders. Have you considered having him re-evaluated? Maybe by a neuropsychologist for a multi-disciplinary evaluation? Everyone here recommended we do this and the neuropsychologist spent more time with my kids in 1 visit than our old psychiatrist did in 1 year of monthly visits. Sad, but true.

    We did find a new psychiatrist over the summer that prescribed vyvanse for one of my boys and it seemed to help him some, but this guy was a total jerk so we stopped seeing him. Now we're with a new psychiatrist who seems to have more time to spend with me and my boys.

    I know how difficult this all can be. Sometimes these medications work for a bit, then they stop working and we're in a state of uproar again. Welcome back to the board and (((hugs))) for what you're dealing with.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I suggest you have a fresh evaluation, and see a neuropsychologist. They do intensive testing that other professionals don't do and you may be looking at a misdiagnoses. If he is getting worse, well, ADHD doesn't get worse. Co-morbids can and do. I have a few questions:
    1/Who diagnosed him? Which sort of doctor?
    2/Are there any psychiatric or neurological problems on either side of the family tree? Any substance abuse? "Funny" relatives?
    3/How was his early development? Did he have any speech or motor delays?
    4/Is he socially appropriate or is he an "odd duck" who does quirky things.
    5/Does he make odd noises or flick his fingers, etc.
    6/How is his academic performance and does he have an IEP in school?
    Others will come along. It is impossible for us to diagnose. ADHD symptoms and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) symptoms often go along with other disorders and a neuropsychologist in my opinion is the best professional to figure out the big picture.
     
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    OK. The germ fear to the point that it is interfering in his life is a pretty classic sign of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The entire tenor of his behavior seems to indicate that he needs a new evaluation.

    Will being in thebehavior mod class help reduce his stress levels? Your stress levels?

    Who diagnosed him and who is prescribing the vyvanse? Is there a chance that some of the tears and germ-phobia etc is from side effects (were any of these present in any degree before the vyvanse?)?

    Take a deep breath, honey, we are here. If nothing else we can listen to you.

    Hugs,

    Susie
     
  5. Indianamomof4

    Indianamomof4 New Member

    I have to totally agree, if I've learned anything in my short time here, it's that sometimes we're not treating the "Real" problem, and it seems his real problem is not being treated either.

    That being said, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), adhd, etc, are no excuses for bad behavior. I don't believe in that. I decided to order that Total Transformation program that was advertised on the radio and, thank GOD I did. I've only just started it and already I've learned a lesson on what to do in my house with my kids. I can't wait to get through the other lessons. I know it's expensive (it's like 300.00), but some people are selling it on ebay, and you can try it for a month for only 19.00. If anything, get through as much as you can in 30 days and send it back...

    James Lehman really gives some awesome tips on handling kids and taking control back in the house. What I've learned already is that "there is no excuse for abuse". My kids hit each other, verbally accost each other, etc. No more. I stop it immediately and remind them that there is no excuse for abuse. I'm rambling. Anyway, Dr. Greene has good behavior modification suggestions with his plan and so does J. Lehman.
     
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hello and welcome back. I'm so sorry that you had the need to seek us out once again. I agree with the others that it may be time to get a fresh evaluation. You also want to make sure his medications are at the right level. Our children change as they grow, often times their diagnoses also change. I hope we can help you get back on an even keel again.
     
  7. SeekingSerenity

    SeekingSerenity New Member

    The vyvanse seems to be working fairly well on his ADHD symptoms. We tried the patch before this and it didn't help at all.

    I do agree that he needs to be evaluated again. He was diagnosis with ADHD when he was 4 by a psychiatrist and that's the only thing he's been treated for in 8 yrs. He's been seeing his psychiatrist for almost 5 yrs now and I do like her but I'm getting to the point where I think she's done about all she can do for him.

    Debbie
     
  8. SeekingSerenity

    SeekingSerenity New Member

    1. He was diagnosis by a psychiatrist at age 4.
    2. My brother was mentally ill and I've been treated for depression for several yrs.
    3. Yes he did have major speech and motor delays. He's been in speech therapy since he was 3 and was in occupational therapy up until about a year ago.
    4. We've had lots of problems with his interaction with other children. His social skills are very much behind what they should be.
    5. He does make unusual noises sometimes and moves his hands alot.
    6. He's in the 5th grade but he's working at about a 2nd to 3rd grade level. The school he was in the last 2 yrs didn't help him at all. I honestly believe they just didn't want to fool with him and they wanted to get rid of him quickly when I mentioned the word discrimination because they didn't want him going on any school field trips. Our last IEP last yr they told me they thought it would be best for him to be in a CDC class and he did start it this yr but the teacher called me a couple of weeks ago and said that he's too far ahead of the other children in that class and she agreed with what I've been saying all along. He has the potential to learn if we can get a handle on his behavior issues and his social skills. Right now he's only in the CDC for an hour a day with the rest of the time in regular class and resource.

    Debbie
     
  9. SeekingSerenity

    SeekingSerenity New Member

    I personally think the behavior mod class would help him. It did before and it's the same teacher that he had when he was younger. We were in constant contact, I know we talked to each other at least once a week. No other teacher has done that with him.

    I don't really think it's side effects on the vyvanse because these issues were there before he started taking it. The thing with the germs started last year when they discussed them in science class and it totally freaked him out. But it is getting worse.

    Thank you it's good to have someone listening.

    Debbie
     
  10. SeekingSerenity

    SeekingSerenity New Member

    I'm trying to do what I can to rein in some of his behavior. Right now he's mostly deviant although he is starting to be aggressive towards himself such as when he doesn't want to do what I say he will sometimes hit or scratch himself. I think part of that is him being deviant because he knows how bad it upsets me to see him do that so he knows he's going to get a reaction from me even though it's not a good reaction.

    I really can't afford anything like that program although I wish I could. I'd be willing to try anything that could possibly help him.

    Debbie
     
  11. SeekingSerenity

    SeekingSerenity New Member

    Thank you for the welcome and all of you have convinced me that he does need to be evaluated again. I just know something has got to be done before things get even worse. The last couple of months have been so stressful for both of us. He's changed schools and we've moved and he doesn't handle change well at all.

    Debbie
     
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have never heard of Total Transformations. I do know that http://www.loveandlogic.com has lots of free stuff, including downloads. The books are sold in bookstores and are not very expensive. You can also order stuff of the website and sometimes find it on ebay. This method has truly changed the way husband and I parent, tho more husband than I. It was teh first method of parenting that truly got through to my husband. Having both of us able to follow the same plan was amazingly helpful. They have books, videos, tapes and CD's, all sorts of stuff. And they gear it to differnt ages, teachers, parents, etc...

    I truly think you may be seeing the emergence of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (obsessive -compulsive disorder) in the handwashing and germaphobia. This is usually treated with SSRI medications like paxil and prozac. The dose for treating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is, I believe, higher than for treating depression. ASK your doctor about it. Sometimes we have to suggest things to docs because they get used to doing something a certain way, just like we do.

    Hugs,

    Susie
     
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