Hi Luvki, nice to meet you.
Here's some iced tea. (I can spike it if you want.
)
My son is 12 and Aspie lite.
He is MUCH better than he was yrs ago, but if you check back in the notes, you'll see he still has his moments (I think the thread has the word "drained" in it.)
I would recommend several things.
1) limit video and computer game time. It excites the frontal lobes and causes excess electrical activity.
2) try an elimination diet, getting rid of milk products and wheat. My son has major league ADHD symptoms when he has wheat, plus he wets the bed.
3) Respond to him with-'Yes, however," rather than an outright "No."
4) Make sure he's always got a carrot and stick. In my son's case, it's Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and PS2 time. The stick is simply taking those things away. We spent months figuring out what to take away that would really make a diff to him. We took his clothes, his toys and his furniture. Nada. Find his triggers.
5) Make SURE he sleeps on a strict schedule every single night. That means no sleepovers, and probably the use of evening medications, like an antihistamine to make him sleepy.
6) Don't call the police unless he stabs you or your life is in danger (this is a hard one for me because I have called the police) but they are not trained in neurological disorders or mental illness and all they'll do is put him in juvie (in a well publicized case in VA, parents of a schizoaffective son called the police, who shot and killed him. NOT what they intended!). The police call may teach him a lesson once, but it will not do any long-term teaching.
7) Figure out his triggers (perhaps with-the help of a therapist, or have your own home sessions once or twice a wk) to discuss what you could have done differently during times of escalation.
8) Understand that he is very literal. If he enters someone else's house and insists he didn't break in, it's probably because the door was unlocked.
9) Make sure he has interventions in school, and an IEP if he's in a public school. That probably means shorter class sessions, one-on-one, and more repetition. It should also mean lots of exercise.
10) Speaking of exercise, tire him out! Get him in a sport he likes. Over the yrs, we tried ice skating, horseback riding, soccer, karate, and baseball and my son loves baseball. He's going to do football in a yr or two, and probably track.
We only go horseback riding on vacation, but he is SO calm on a horse, he doesn't even need his Adderall.
11) Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page. If one of you does one thing and the other the opposite, your son will be very confused and angry. Any kid will learn how to play parents against one another, but with-Aspies you have to be even more consistent, in my humble opinion.