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Newbie asking advice on how to deal with gambler son
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 529628" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Thank you for your very kind and helpful reply. With my son it's not so obvious. Luckily many (adults) do see through him. Part of his problems with his peers is, that they see what they see and take it with face value. Now that he sits in the locker room not only with other youngsters (and still I think he is the youngest among them) but also with men in their late twenties and in their thirties, who have kids etc. and it goes much better for him. 33 year old guy, who has seen it all, lived in several countries, has his own kids just doesn't get offended with teen boy being stupid that easily. For them it is much easier to just tell difficult child that he is behaving stupidly and please, keep your mouth shut or try to be more civil or that he should take also others to consideration instead of totally flipping, talking behind his back and not talking to him any more. In fact some time ago my husband happened to hear difficult child talking to his team mates and being very obnoxious. One older team mate who heard him in fact patted him on the head and told him to cut it or he wasn't going to get any dessert. Everyone laughed. Very embarrassing for the difficult child, but totally his own fault and it also cut off any real animosity. </p><p><span style="color: #333333"> </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"></span><span style="color: #333333"></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333">I do think his motivation for asking this is, that he feels it is embarrassing that mommy is taking care of his finances. I also believe his girlfriend is totally sincere. She is nice and smart 18 yo girl. Very easy child. Yeah, some of the appeal she sees in my son may be his status as an athlete and that may wear thin quickly. We have indeed tried to point out to our son that it would not be fair to put this kind of burden to his girlfriend and that it may hinder their relationship in the long term. But son believes we are against it, because we don't believe they will stay together. And he is very sure they do. Of course we don't believe that, I can count with my one hand fingers the people at my age I know, who are still together with the one they dated at 18! But I'm not stupid enough to say it to the difficult child.</span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"></span>I think stimulants are not an option because of the anti-doping rules but difficult child is trying to learn better impulse control, frustration management and organize better in therapy for his addiction. That may end up helping other ways also. I hope!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 529628, member: 14557"] Thank you for your very kind and helpful reply. With my son it's not so obvious. Luckily many (adults) do see through him. Part of his problems with his peers is, that they see what they see and take it with face value. Now that he sits in the locker room not only with other youngsters (and still I think he is the youngest among them) but also with men in their late twenties and in their thirties, who have kids etc. and it goes much better for him. 33 year old guy, who has seen it all, lived in several countries, has his own kids just doesn't get offended with teen boy being stupid that easily. For them it is much easier to just tell difficult child that he is behaving stupidly and please, keep your mouth shut or try to be more civil or that he should take also others to consideration instead of totally flipping, talking behind his back and not talking to him any more. In fact some time ago my husband happened to hear difficult child talking to his team mates and being very obnoxious. One older team mate who heard him in fact patted him on the head and told him to cut it or he wasn't going to get any dessert. Everyone laughed. Very embarrassing for the difficult child, but totally his own fault and it also cut off any real animosity. [COLOR=#333333] [/COLOR][COLOR=#333333] I do think his motivation for asking this is, that he feels it is embarrassing that mommy is taking care of his finances. I also believe his girlfriend is totally sincere. She is nice and smart 18 yo girl. Very easy child. Yeah, some of the appeal she sees in my son may be his status as an athlete and that may wear thin quickly. We have indeed tried to point out to our son that it would not be fair to put this kind of burden to his girlfriend and that it may hinder their relationship in the long term. But son believes we are against it, because we don't believe they will stay together. And he is very sure they do. Of course we don't believe that, I can count with my one hand fingers the people at my age I know, who are still together with the one they dated at 18! But I'm not stupid enough to say it to the difficult child. [/COLOR]I think stimulants are not an option because of the anti-doping rules but difficult child is trying to learn better impulse control, frustration management and organize better in therapy for his addiction. That may end up helping other ways also. I hope! [/QUOTE]
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