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Newbie at breaking point...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 310029" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. Welcome. OK. Must read "The EXplosive Child" by Ross Greene. Must!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I read everyone else's responses before checking in and I don't have much to add except two things. One is that he may have an emerging mood disorder or high functioning autism (they mimic each other) and I'd take him to a neuropsychologist.</p><p></p><p>Another one is that difficult child's do best with consistency across the board, however you can not do anything about how Buddy's hub wants to raise his son. Nothing. So he is basically living two different sets of rules and I'm sure it's confusing him, but there's nothing you can do to change ex or make him think your way is the best way for Buddy. in my opinion, and I say this humbly, it would probably be best if both of you gave in a little bit and thought of a way to raise him that you could both live with. When he's with you, he can't play videogames. When he's with his father, he can.</p><p></p><p>I'm personally not on board with being TOO strict unless there is a good reason and videogames make the child violent...we're talking moderation here. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> In the end, there is no way to micro-manage a child's life because they have peers and friends and they do get exposure to everything as they get older...and they can get rebellious about it. Buddy will see life more like it is at Dad's when he visits friends, for example. When he gets to be a teen, he'll be out more.</p><p></p><p>I humbly suggest maybe considering a more moderate regiment at home and asking ex to at least moderate with you. Maybe he will????????? I have found that you can pretty much micro-manage a kid's life when he is quite young, but that you can't when they get older (I have raised five kids to adulthood...a few were difficult children...fun, fun!)</p><p></p><p>At any rate, I hope this doesn't offend you. I don't mean it that way. Just that he is living two separate lives and you can't control the ex. When he comes of age he may just say, "I'm living with dad. He lets me do stuff and you don't." Of course, as your said, ex doesn't WANT him right now, however he may change his mind later on.</p><p></p><p>These are just a few thoughts that hit me. Hey, I could be off base here. </p><p></p><p>Glad you're here and post often <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 310029, member: 1550"] Hi there. Welcome. OK. Must read "The EXplosive Child" by Ross Greene. Must!!! ;) I read everyone else's responses before checking in and I don't have much to add except two things. One is that he may have an emerging mood disorder or high functioning autism (they mimic each other) and I'd take him to a neuropsychologist. Another one is that difficult child's do best with consistency across the board, however you can not do anything about how Buddy's hub wants to raise his son. Nothing. So he is basically living two different sets of rules and I'm sure it's confusing him, but there's nothing you can do to change ex or make him think your way is the best way for Buddy. in my opinion, and I say this humbly, it would probably be best if both of you gave in a little bit and thought of a way to raise him that you could both live with. When he's with you, he can't play videogames. When he's with his father, he can. I'm personally not on board with being TOO strict unless there is a good reason and videogames make the child violent...we're talking moderation here. :raspberry-tounge: In the end, there is no way to micro-manage a child's life because they have peers and friends and they do get exposure to everything as they get older...and they can get rebellious about it. Buddy will see life more like it is at Dad's when he visits friends, for example. When he gets to be a teen, he'll be out more. I humbly suggest maybe considering a more moderate regiment at home and asking ex to at least moderate with you. Maybe he will????????? I have found that you can pretty much micro-manage a kid's life when he is quite young, but that you can't when they get older (I have raised five kids to adulthood...a few were difficult children...fun, fun!) At any rate, I hope this doesn't offend you. I don't mean it that way. Just that he is living two separate lives and you can't control the ex. When he comes of age he may just say, "I'm living with dad. He lets me do stuff and you don't." Of course, as your said, ex doesn't WANT him right now, however he may change his mind later on. These are just a few thoughts that hit me. Hey, I could be off base here. Glad you're here and post often :happy: [/QUOTE]
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