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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 291489" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Sorry about the bad visit for your child.</p><p></p><p>I don't think it's Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) either though. He was always with family members and his needs were tended to...Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is supposed to be considered only after everything else is ruled out. I think the neuropsychologist is a great idea. </p><p></p><p>One thing to caution about: Just because a child doesn't talk about a bio. parent doesn't mean he doesn't miss her or want to be with her. In a few cases, where kids who had been illegally adopted, were abruptly taken from their homes (and the only parents they ever knew) to be with their birthparents, both times the birthparents said the child didn't say anything about thier old family. Both seemed to think that it meant that four years of life with people who loved them just disappeared. In fact, the kids were likely traumatized and were afraid to say anything because they picked up that their new parents didn't want them to talk or ask about them. </p><p></p><p>This boy still loves his mother with all his heart. Even kids who are badly abused love their parents (I was a foster mom). Part of his problem with your wife is probably that you married her instead of Mom. It may not be logical to you, an adult, and I'm sure your wife is a nicer, more stable person than his mother, but she's not Mom. I was always shocked at how these kids loved Mom even if she beat them. I think intensive counseling is a good idea because in my opinion you have a kid who has been through a lot and only he and his therapist can sort it out and get his mind clear so that he can progress and grow and get over his anger. in my opinion he also needs to be diagnosed. He could very well also have a childhood disorder.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 291489, member: 1550"] Sorry about the bad visit for your child. I don't think it's Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) either though. He was always with family members and his needs were tended to...Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is supposed to be considered only after everything else is ruled out. I think the neuropsychologist is a great idea. One thing to caution about: Just because a child doesn't talk about a bio. parent doesn't mean he doesn't miss her or want to be with her. In a few cases, where kids who had been illegally adopted, were abruptly taken from their homes (and the only parents they ever knew) to be with their birthparents, both times the birthparents said the child didn't say anything about thier old family. Both seemed to think that it meant that four years of life with people who loved them just disappeared. In fact, the kids were likely traumatized and were afraid to say anything because they picked up that their new parents didn't want them to talk or ask about them. This boy still loves his mother with all his heart. Even kids who are badly abused love their parents (I was a foster mom). Part of his problem with your wife is probably that you married her instead of Mom. It may not be logical to you, an adult, and I'm sure your wife is a nicer, more stable person than his mother, but she's not Mom. I was always shocked at how these kids loved Mom even if she beat them. I think intensive counseling is a good idea because in my opinion you have a kid who has been through a lot and only he and his therapist can sort it out and get his mind clear so that he can progress and grow and get over his anger. in my opinion he also needs to be diagnosed. He could very well also have a childhood disorder. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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