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Parent Emeritus
Newbie--"bad mom" syndrome
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 313002" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Hi there. Welcome to the forum even though I know you never wanted to find yourself here. Everyone of us here knows your pain. We may not be going through your exact situation but most of us know the pain of having kids who just didnt live up to what we wanted for them when they were first placed in our arms all those years ago. I know I didnt look down into that little face and think to myself...gosh I cant wait until you grow up to be a felon! No, I had so many high hopes and dreams for my son back then but they have fallen by the wayside. </p><p></p><p>From the sounds of what you have been through with your daughter, I dont know what else you could have done. She seems like she was just pushing you until she was going to get what she could get. For whatever reason...we could go on forever going back and forth about whether she was tested enough to find out the correct diagnosis...but I dont think that serves any purpose at this time because she would refuse to comply with treatment anyway. She is obstinate and rebellious right now. At this point there is nothing you could do or say to change her. You had to let her go. </p><p></p><p>You know how people say "you made your bed, now lay in it"? Well, I think that is what you are going to have to say to her when she calls. You cant want to be a grown up one minute and a child the next. Once she took that step, there is no going back. We have a whole list of responses to give when our kids call. It is in the archives here. Just go to the archives on this site and look under this heading and you will find it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 313002, member: 1514"] Hi there. Welcome to the forum even though I know you never wanted to find yourself here. Everyone of us here knows your pain. We may not be going through your exact situation but most of us know the pain of having kids who just didnt live up to what we wanted for them when they were first placed in our arms all those years ago. I know I didnt look down into that little face and think to myself...gosh I cant wait until you grow up to be a felon! No, I had so many high hopes and dreams for my son back then but they have fallen by the wayside. From the sounds of what you have been through with your daughter, I dont know what else you could have done. She seems like she was just pushing you until she was going to get what she could get. For whatever reason...we could go on forever going back and forth about whether she was tested enough to find out the correct diagnosis...but I dont think that serves any purpose at this time because she would refuse to comply with treatment anyway. She is obstinate and rebellious right now. At this point there is nothing you could do or say to change her. You had to let her go. You know how people say "you made your bed, now lay in it"? Well, I think that is what you are going to have to say to her when she calls. You cant want to be a grown up one minute and a child the next. Once she took that step, there is no going back. We have a whole list of responses to give when our kids call. It is in the archives here. Just go to the archives on this site and look under this heading and you will find it. [/QUOTE]
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Newbie--"bad mom" syndrome
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