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Parent Emeritus
Newbie--"bad mom" syndrome
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 313458" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Janet ~ my thoughts exactly. </p><p></p><p>emotionally bankrupt (I love your screen name) ~ Welcome to the board. I have been through much of the same as you have. My difficult child is older now but at your daughter's age she caused us so much pain. I felt like a bad mom and constantly wondered what I had done wrong. However, my younger daughter is a total easy child raised in the same house by the same parents. That helped me realize that my difficult child was hardwired differently and that it wasn't my fault.</p><p></p><p>There is a board saying that I found very helpful . . . "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." That took a lot of weight off of my shoulders.</p><p></p><p>You also have a younger child to protect. Now that your difficult child has married and moved out of the house, I would say that your parenting days (for difficult child) are over. Moving back in would (and should) not even be an option.</p><p></p><p>If it is any consolation, my difficult child did improve with age. Things are not perfect by any means but she is light years away from the nasty, hurtful teenager she used to be.</p><p></p><p>Sending a big hug. . . .</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 313458, member: 1967"] Janet ~ my thoughts exactly. emotionally bankrupt (I love your screen name) ~ Welcome to the board. I have been through much of the same as you have. My difficult child is older now but at your daughter's age she caused us so much pain. I felt like a bad mom and constantly wondered what I had done wrong. However, my younger daughter is a total easy child raised in the same house by the same parents. That helped me realize that my difficult child was hardwired differently and that it wasn't my fault. There is a board saying that I found very helpful . . . "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." That took a lot of weight off of my shoulders. You also have a younger child to protect. Now that your difficult child has married and moved out of the house, I would say that your parenting days (for difficult child) are over. Moving back in would (and should) not even be an option. If it is any consolation, my difficult child did improve with age. Things are not perfect by any means but she is light years away from the nasty, hurtful teenager she used to be. Sending a big hug. . . . ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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