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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 326166" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>Thanks for the feedback guys, it means a lot. It's nice to know some people understand. Sometimes I even struggle when it comes to explaining things to the professionals. He has such an Eddie Haskel exterior and none are the wiser. Makes me look like a crackpot. </p><p> </p><p>As for the Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) test: We saw an audiologist from a major childrens hospital. According to her, she was positive he would test to have the disorder due to my questionaire and history paperwork. She was very shocked he did not test to have it. Her best guesstimate unofficially was that she strongly suspected he did have the disorder. She stated that many kids learn tricks to cope and although the underlying cause may be there it isn't always detectable. Not especially helpful to me. She also mentioned that the goal of any therapies she could offer would be for him to learn to cope much as she suspected he had. Yet again, not especially helpful. Doesn't help him maintain a good reputation at futrue jobs if his employers think he is lazy but he may just be "forgetful". </p><p> </p><p>We have had top of the line care by the grace of God for almost a year now. Having personal experience for self and dex sometimes even the pros have cases that make them scratch their heads, you know? It's like so many behaviors cross over from one thing to another and there are no clear answers with the cause, the label or the treatment. It's like a game of blind mans bluff. </p><p> </p><p>The testing we are waiting for was from a specialized agency I colided with by complete luck. I live an hour south of Saint Louis and this agency actually flew an expert in from Chicago.</p><p> </p><p>Our medicating psychiatric is like a local celebrity amongst people in the field. They ALL know of her and all sing her praises. She is fantastic, even tolerates a handful of calls in a row after hours to her cell phone. i've had her call me at 9 p.m. on a Sunday after she JUST got in the door from a vacation. No one gets on her "list", no one. She is that in demand. Not even sure how we got her, just dumb luck and perfect timing. I get admiration from just being a parent of her patient. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/whistling.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whistling:" title="whistling :whistling:" data-shortname=":whistling:" /> She is affordable too, go figure.</p><p> </p><p>I don't mean to boast. It was a 3 year battle of being desperately lost needing help. We live in a village of 370 people. We are as rural as rural can get. The limited local resources have to be imported on small contracts. Anything "plentiful" is a minimum of an hour drive so weekly counseling is hard. I am sure you know what a nightmare coordination of services can be, how hard to get in appointments, how limited the availability of adequate services to cover difficult child needs. Imagine all the endless phone calls and dead ends you had to get past but imagine it in a town that has one convenience store..........most places don't accept clients from out of their area. Insurance providers in network are a joke.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I guess my long winded pointis that i have been doing so much already. It isn't perfect. There is a lot I need to do and not make excuses for. I need to learn to parent a difficult child. I am understanding now that needing classes doesn't make me a bad parent although the suggestion irks me. It takes special skills to handle a difficult child, skills most parents can get by without. I know I need to force difficult child to have a healthy social life. I know I have to take care of my own needs to be effective. I don't want it to sound like a cop out thought it very well may be. I am just so weary. Some days are good and I get a false sense of peace. Then an event happens and it breaks me down all over again. Sometimes I am just so demolished that I get depressed or just worn out. It is so hard to muster the reserves to keep on fighting when things seem hopeless. Sometimes I just miss what I imagine is a normal, happy family evening. A high needs teen, an infant and 10,000other responsibilities in life have me burining the candle at both ends.</p><p> </p><p>Somedays I want to run away from home and have a vacation from my life. Everyone has problems, I'm not unique or special. I just miss the feeling of goals and purpose in my life. I miss things to look forward to. Most of the ways I find happiness difficult child finds a way to sabotage. As a good mother I have to sacrifice a lot of my own needs. Sometimes I wantsomething just for me, you know? Then I feel guilty for being selfish.</p><p> </p><p>*oh bother* Whats the code in here for alcohol/relaxing drink? I need mine with a little umbrella, a warm sandy beach under my feet, my difficult child happy in the surf and quiet, just good old fashioned peace and quiet......especially in my soul.</p><p> </p><p>I'm just so tired.............not sleepy just tired.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 326166, member: 8617"] Thanks for the feedback guys, it means a lot. It's nice to know some people understand. Sometimes I even struggle when it comes to explaining things to the professionals. He has such an Eddie Haskel exterior and none are the wiser. Makes me look like a crackpot. As for the Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) test: We saw an audiologist from a major childrens hospital. According to her, she was positive he would test to have the disorder due to my questionaire and history paperwork. She was very shocked he did not test to have it. Her best guesstimate unofficially was that she strongly suspected he did have the disorder. She stated that many kids learn tricks to cope and although the underlying cause may be there it isn't always detectable. Not especially helpful to me. She also mentioned that the goal of any therapies she could offer would be for him to learn to cope much as she suspected he had. Yet again, not especially helpful. Doesn't help him maintain a good reputation at futrue jobs if his employers think he is lazy but he may just be "forgetful". We have had top of the line care by the grace of God for almost a year now. Having personal experience for self and dex sometimes even the pros have cases that make them scratch their heads, you know? It's like so many behaviors cross over from one thing to another and there are no clear answers with the cause, the label or the treatment. It's like a game of blind mans bluff. The testing we are waiting for was from a specialized agency I colided with by complete luck. I live an hour south of Saint Louis and this agency actually flew an expert in from Chicago. Our medicating psychiatric is like a local celebrity amongst people in the field. They ALL know of her and all sing her praises. She is fantastic, even tolerates a handful of calls in a row after hours to her cell phone. i've had her call me at 9 p.m. on a Sunday after she JUST got in the door from a vacation. No one gets on her "list", no one. She is that in demand. Not even sure how we got her, just dumb luck and perfect timing. I get admiration from just being a parent of her patient. :whistling: She is affordable too, go figure. I don't mean to boast. It was a 3 year battle of being desperately lost needing help. We live in a village of 370 people. We are as rural as rural can get. The limited local resources have to be imported on small contracts. Anything "plentiful" is a minimum of an hour drive so weekly counseling is hard. I am sure you know what a nightmare coordination of services can be, how hard to get in appointments, how limited the availability of adequate services to cover difficult child needs. Imagine all the endless phone calls and dead ends you had to get past but imagine it in a town that has one convenience store..........most places don't accept clients from out of their area. Insurance providers in network are a joke.:knockedout: I guess my long winded pointis that i have been doing so much already. It isn't perfect. There is a lot I need to do and not make excuses for. I need to learn to parent a difficult child. I am understanding now that needing classes doesn't make me a bad parent although the suggestion irks me. It takes special skills to handle a difficult child, skills most parents can get by without. I know I need to force difficult child to have a healthy social life. I know I have to take care of my own needs to be effective. I don't want it to sound like a cop out thought it very well may be. I am just so weary. Some days are good and I get a false sense of peace. Then an event happens and it breaks me down all over again. Sometimes I am just so demolished that I get depressed or just worn out. It is so hard to muster the reserves to keep on fighting when things seem hopeless. Sometimes I just miss what I imagine is a normal, happy family evening. A high needs teen, an infant and 10,000other responsibilities in life have me burining the candle at both ends. Somedays I want to run away from home and have a vacation from my life. Everyone has problems, I'm not unique or special. I just miss the feeling of goals and purpose in my life. I miss things to look forward to. Most of the ways I find happiness difficult child finds a way to sabotage. As a good mother I have to sacrifice a lot of my own needs. Sometimes I wantsomething just for me, you know? Then I feel guilty for being selfish. *oh bother* Whats the code in here for alcohol/relaxing drink? I need mine with a little umbrella, a warm sandy beach under my feet, my difficult child happy in the surf and quiet, just good old fashioned peace and quiet......especially in my soul. I'm just so tired.............not sleepy just tired. [/QUOTE]
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