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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 609207" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would look into attachment disorder. Your child had many major disruptions in her early life and many caregivers and bio. mom was no responsible and could have exposed her to men who abused her, especially if they are drinkers or druggies. Her off-the-wall behavior is common in kids who have that sort of start. I adopted a child who did and, boy, he was so crazy we couldn't keep him with us as he was not safe, but your stepdaughter is still young. She will likely need somebody who is SKILLED AND AWARE of attachment therapy, not just your run-of-the-mill every day therapist or even psychologist.</p><p></p><p>You can not parent her with stability and expect that alone to make the attachment issues go away. The peeing can be a sign that she was sexually abused. It is also a symptom of attachment disorder (although it is a symptom of other things too). If your stepdaughter is also mean to animals and is fascinated in any way with fire, you got a serious problem on your hands. Even if she isn't, or if you don't know if she isn't, you still have to treat her. </p><p></p><p>If she HAS been sexually abused, and we don't know if she has or not, she may be a danger to act out on any younger kids so you may want to watch her around "Ms. Ours." It is commendable that your husband fought for her. Unfortunately, she experienced very serious problems at a very vulnerable age before he knew about her and that may affect her all her life. With the right attachment parenting, perhaps it won't.</p><p></p><p>I'm going to give you a link about attachment disorder and you may want to start reading on it yourself. Although it could be other things too, I would be shocked if, with her horrible start in life and the drugs her birthmother ingested, if there is no attachment problems. Those first year years are grooved into the subconscious brain and the child believes nobody will take care of her and that nobody is trustworthy, even if the child finally goes to a stable situation. Therefore, the child is in self-survival and does not care about anyone but herself. This causes massive issues.</p><p></p><p>Ok, here are the links. Good luck <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Keep us posted.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm" target="_blank">http://www.helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 609207, member: 1550"] I would look into attachment disorder. Your child had many major disruptions in her early life and many caregivers and bio. mom was no responsible and could have exposed her to men who abused her, especially if they are drinkers or druggies. Her off-the-wall behavior is common in kids who have that sort of start. I adopted a child who did and, boy, he was so crazy we couldn't keep him with us as he was not safe, but your stepdaughter is still young. She will likely need somebody who is SKILLED AND AWARE of attachment therapy, not just your run-of-the-mill every day therapist or even psychologist. You can not parent her with stability and expect that alone to make the attachment issues go away. The peeing can be a sign that she was sexually abused. It is also a symptom of attachment disorder (although it is a symptom of other things too). If your stepdaughter is also mean to animals and is fascinated in any way with fire, you got a serious problem on your hands. Even if she isn't, or if you don't know if she isn't, you still have to treat her. If she HAS been sexually abused, and we don't know if she has or not, she may be a danger to act out on any younger kids so you may want to watch her around "Ms. Ours." It is commendable that your husband fought for her. Unfortunately, she experienced very serious problems at a very vulnerable age before he knew about her and that may affect her all her life. With the right attachment parenting, perhaps it won't. I'm going to give you a link about attachment disorder and you may want to start reading on it yourself. Although it could be other things too, I would be shocked if, with her horrible start in life and the drugs her birthmother ingested, if there is no attachment problems. Those first year years are grooved into the subconscious brain and the child believes nobody will take care of her and that nobody is trustworthy, even if the child finally goes to a stable situation. Therefore, the child is in self-survival and does not care about anyone but herself. This causes massive issues. Ok, here are the links. Good luck :) Keep us posted. [url]http://www.helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm[/url] [/QUOTE]
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