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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 609215" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>But you still aren't her biological mom and she knows this. That isn't your fault. In my eyes, you are more of a mom than her bio. mom who probably abused her by taking drugs and drinking even while the poor kid was still in the womb. I am just saying SHE will know who her bio. mom is and it will be something she will need to work out since bio. mom IS in her life...coming and going. I have adopted children. They NEVER saw their bio. moms. But they think about them sometimes and relate to them. That's normal. Unfortunately, stepdaughter knows her mom is not a nice lady and sometimes kids think, "If she's that way and she's my mom, am I bad too?" </p><p></p><p>I'm glad she has stability now, but she didn't have during very important years and may be "chaos-oriented" and not really grateful to have a caring dad and stepmom or stability now. Such is the craziness of attachment disorder. She may know you will be there, but maybe she doesn't know that because of her experiences as an infant and with mom and her boyfriends. It could have made her fear that nobody will REALLY be good to her. Maybe not. At any rate, she needs serious, serious help. She has been around the mill for a little girl and she is very disturbed as evidenced by your other post.</p><p></p><p>I was going to ask if she showed sexual behavior and hoped it would be a resounding "no." Unfortunately, she showed it so young that it makes no sense other than she was probably sexually abused. Who knew if mother even watched her while she around all these strange, stoned, drunk men? </p><p></p><p>But you are trying to help her. I commend you greatly for that. I doubt if it will be easy. But I hope I'm wrong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 609215, member: 1550"] But you still aren't her biological mom and she knows this. That isn't your fault. In my eyes, you are more of a mom than her bio. mom who probably abused her by taking drugs and drinking even while the poor kid was still in the womb. I am just saying SHE will know who her bio. mom is and it will be something she will need to work out since bio. mom IS in her life...coming and going. I have adopted children. They NEVER saw their bio. moms. But they think about them sometimes and relate to them. That's normal. Unfortunately, stepdaughter knows her mom is not a nice lady and sometimes kids think, "If she's that way and she's my mom, am I bad too?" I'm glad she has stability now, but she didn't have during very important years and may be "chaos-oriented" and not really grateful to have a caring dad and stepmom or stability now. Such is the craziness of attachment disorder. She may know you will be there, but maybe she doesn't know that because of her experiences as an infant and with mom and her boyfriends. It could have made her fear that nobody will REALLY be good to her. Maybe not. At any rate, she needs serious, serious help. She has been around the mill for a little girl and she is very disturbed as evidenced by your other post. I was going to ask if she showed sexual behavior and hoped it would be a resounding "no." Unfortunately, she showed it so young that it makes no sense other than she was probably sexually abused. Who knew if mother even watched her while she around all these strange, stoned, drunk men? But you are trying to help her. I commend you greatly for that. I doubt if it will be easy. But I hope I'm wrong. [/QUOTE]
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