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newbie learning to deal with ODD...help!
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 180752" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Gateship! Welcome to the crowd! I really admire you for wanting to help this young lady out. Dollars to donuts she's had a really tough time with it. </p><p> </p><p>I have to say, I also crack up at the 2-3 days a week! </p><p> </p><p>You and your family really seem to be into the fostering thing (which again, I admire soooo much! There aren't enough caring people out there in this world).</p><p> </p><p>For the record, it could be that she just doesn't trust you guys. She's also probably looking to you to be that "big sister" that would be a pal (pals "spring" for ice cream - lol!). </p><p> </p><p>First, I'd get Ross Greene's book "The Explosive Child". It's an easy read, not a lot of technical talk, and lots of examples to work from. </p><p> </p><p>Second, you might want to try carving out say, 1/2 a night to "hang-out" with her. It's a terrifying place for her right now, not knowing where she's going to end up, probably headed down the "becoming a woman path" (that cracks me up as well! Just the terminology - I know, it's very immature of me!), and just trying to carve out what niche she belongs in.</p><p>During that 1/2 hour or so, try doing each other's nails (trust me, she'll make a mess of your nails), playing with hair, looking at Girl Stuff type of magazines and ads, etc. She's probably a nervous wreck about starting school, where she'll be enrolled (if she's not still with you guys, she could end up in a different school), what kind of clothes a popular, etc.</p><p> </p><p>I don't blame you for wanting time to yourself, but if you set a time that's just "girl time", she'll have something to look forward to, and you'll be better able to plan accordingly.</p><p> </p><p>Let us know if there's any other questions, etc. that you have OR if you just need listeners! This is a great place to visit!</p><p> </p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 180752, member: 3814"] Gateship! Welcome to the crowd! I really admire you for wanting to help this young lady out. Dollars to donuts she's had a really tough time with it. I have to say, I also crack up at the 2-3 days a week! You and your family really seem to be into the fostering thing (which again, I admire soooo much! There aren't enough caring people out there in this world). For the record, it could be that she just doesn't trust you guys. She's also probably looking to you to be that "big sister" that would be a pal (pals "spring" for ice cream - lol!). First, I'd get Ross Greene's book "The Explosive Child". It's an easy read, not a lot of technical talk, and lots of examples to work from. Second, you might want to try carving out say, 1/2 a night to "hang-out" with her. It's a terrifying place for her right now, not knowing where she's going to end up, probably headed down the "becoming a woman path" (that cracks me up as well! Just the terminology - I know, it's very immature of me!), and just trying to carve out what niche she belongs in. During that 1/2 hour or so, try doing each other's nails (trust me, she'll make a mess of your nails), playing with hair, looking at Girl Stuff type of magazines and ads, etc. She's probably a nervous wreck about starting school, where she'll be enrolled (if she's not still with you guys, she could end up in a different school), what kind of clothes a popular, etc. I don't blame you for wanting time to yourself, but if you set a time that's just "girl time", she'll have something to look forward to, and you'll be better able to plan accordingly. Let us know if there's any other questions, etc. that you have OR if you just need listeners! This is a great place to visit! Beth [/QUOTE]
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