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newbie learning to deal with ODD...help!
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<blockquote data-quote="gateship" data-source="post: 181273" data-attributes="member: 5679"><p>Thank you Marg and Terry for your advice. Yes, like you Terry I do not do well with negativism. I shut down. I think that has been my biggest problem with dealing with this difficult child. She has an especially bad day or several especially bad days and by the end I have shut down so even if she has a good moment I resent her for her previous actions. Not very fair of me but it is what it is and I am going to try and work on it more. </p><p>Yes, treating her like a needy two year old is probably a great answer. And that is what my mom has been doing. I was trying to do that but I think i got caught up in the fact that she is taller than me, stronger than me, and wears makeup like a hooker (that is one fight we are not approaching just yet). Still, I am an adult and I should recognize the fact that she is still a very scared little girl. I have been and will continue to work on that even harder now. </p><p>I wish giving her food would help Marg, but in her case she already eats more than she should. Its not really a gorging thing- although it is pretty dang close! She has a major complex about her weight and not believing she is even pretty- thus she loads on the makeup to make herself feel better and eats like crazy to do that as well. We have been trying to boost her self esteem and get her to at least eat healthy snacks if she is going to eat all the time. We are very worried that she will become bulimic if we cannot get her to feel better about herself and start her on healthy eating habbits (ie not eating 24/7). </p><p>Anyway, Thanks again!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gateship, post: 181273, member: 5679"] Thank you Marg and Terry for your advice. Yes, like you Terry I do not do well with negativism. I shut down. I think that has been my biggest problem with dealing with this difficult child. She has an especially bad day or several especially bad days and by the end I have shut down so even if she has a good moment I resent her for her previous actions. Not very fair of me but it is what it is and I am going to try and work on it more. Yes, treating her like a needy two year old is probably a great answer. And that is what my mom has been doing. I was trying to do that but I think i got caught up in the fact that she is taller than me, stronger than me, and wears makeup like a hooker (that is one fight we are not approaching just yet). Still, I am an adult and I should recognize the fact that she is still a very scared little girl. I have been and will continue to work on that even harder now. I wish giving her food would help Marg, but in her case she already eats more than she should. Its not really a gorging thing- although it is pretty dang close! She has a major complex about her weight and not believing she is even pretty- thus she loads on the makeup to make herself feel better and eats like crazy to do that as well. We have been trying to boost her self esteem and get her to at least eat healthy snacks if she is going to eat all the time. We are very worried that she will become bulimic if we cannot get her to feel better about herself and start her on healthy eating habbits (ie not eating 24/7). Anyway, Thanks again! [/QUOTE]
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