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Newbie - Let me introduce myself
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 151647" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi there, and welcome - you little hot dog you! (love the pugs in buns) </p><p> </p><p>You know - It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things. My son likes to pick up things that aren't his in our home too - and I remember buying ANOTHER lock for the door and saying to myself "THIS IS THE LAST KEYED LOCK" and then thinking - If I ever sell this house - do I leave them OR go buy regular door knobs? It's insane to have to do that to live in your house. My son was also involved in an idiotic scheme hatched by 2 younger neighbor hood kids and himself. They got my son to stand at the corner as a look out while they burglarized houses during the day. One was supposedly done at night. So when the fit hit the shan - of course we told the police everything we knew. I was surprised to find some of the "loot" in my home. I gave that back. The odd thing for us wasn't that he deserved to get punished - we wanted it. What was odd - is out of the 3 he's the ONLY one that got it. And he got it GOOD - he's now a convicted felon for life. And is on probation for 3 years with fines, costs etc. (That I paid to help him stay out of jail) </p><p> </p><p>And mose recently he had a stay in a group home from hell and went out one night riding on a moped and has been accused by a police officer who SAW IT ALL - and a peer from the group home - for attempted burglary which in this state carries 15-life sentence. Our only loophole is that if the cop actually SAW him - why wasnt' he arrested with the peer then. It stinks to high heaven the whole thing does. Dude swears he had nothing to do with it - and oddly I believe him. But there is still the 15 years looming in the near future which is very real to him and you would think at this point he'd say "Forget school, forget behaving, forget living with a foster family - I'm done, I'm defeated." and he's doing better than he has in years. </p><p> </p><p>So go figure- It makes me wonder if we should have butted out of his life long ago - and then I think yeah right. Maybe just the right time for the right approach. </p><p> </p><p>I wish you the best with your plan. I would suggest that you tell him something like "If you do this this and this - then we'll talk about you coming home to live." I think that is necessary just from a Moms point of view so that you can say "We told you do this and that would happen. Here's what you have to do if you want to live here." - Or maybe since you know him - the door shut in his face with a bag full of clothes - is the right thing. Go with your gut - and tell your heart to take a break. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 151647, member: 4964"] Hi there, and welcome - you little hot dog you! (love the pugs in buns) You know - It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things. My son likes to pick up things that aren't his in our home too - and I remember buying ANOTHER lock for the door and saying to myself "THIS IS THE LAST KEYED LOCK" and then thinking - If I ever sell this house - do I leave them OR go buy regular door knobs? It's insane to have to do that to live in your house. My son was also involved in an idiotic scheme hatched by 2 younger neighbor hood kids and himself. They got my son to stand at the corner as a look out while they burglarized houses during the day. One was supposedly done at night. So when the fit hit the shan - of course we told the police everything we knew. I was surprised to find some of the "loot" in my home. I gave that back. The odd thing for us wasn't that he deserved to get punished - we wanted it. What was odd - is out of the 3 he's the ONLY one that got it. And he got it GOOD - he's now a convicted felon for life. And is on probation for 3 years with fines, costs etc. (That I paid to help him stay out of jail) And mose recently he had a stay in a group home from hell and went out one night riding on a moped and has been accused by a police officer who SAW IT ALL - and a peer from the group home - for attempted burglary which in this state carries 15-life sentence. Our only loophole is that if the cop actually SAW him - why wasnt' he arrested with the peer then. It stinks to high heaven the whole thing does. Dude swears he had nothing to do with it - and oddly I believe him. But there is still the 15 years looming in the near future which is very real to him and you would think at this point he'd say "Forget school, forget behaving, forget living with a foster family - I'm done, I'm defeated." and he's doing better than he has in years. So go figure- It makes me wonder if we should have butted out of his life long ago - and then I think yeah right. Maybe just the right time for the right approach. I wish you the best with your plan. I would suggest that you tell him something like "If you do this this and this - then we'll talk about you coming home to live." I think that is necessary just from a Moms point of view so that you can say "We told you do this and that would happen. Here's what you have to do if you want to live here." - Or maybe since you know him - the door shut in his face with a bag full of clothes - is the right thing. Go with your gut - and tell your heart to take a break. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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