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<blockquote data-quote="navineja" data-source="post: 93596" data-attributes="member: 4278"><p>It does make sense about being able to control for a short period, but the long haul is a different matter. I also like Sara's insight. I will continue to work on replenishing her self-control. </p><p>As for the term "healed", perhaps I used that incorrectly. It is my own term, not that of the doctor. She is of the opinion that the attachment issues are no longer of primary concern and are basically not a determining factor in the girls behavior anymore. (This is not to say that we don't acknowledge that the things that they suffered can continue to pop back up and cause issues thru their lives.) </p><p>Thanks, Marguerite, for the clarification re: cognitive delays. No, Neesie has done well in school, despite having a psycho teacher in Kindergarten who wanted them to work way beyond Kindergarten level (like subtraction in the 2nd week of school!).</p><p>There was some minor concern regarding Jackie's math ability at the start of this year, but she has been able to catch up quickly without any extra help.</p><p>I also appreciate the illustration on how hard it can be for a child to look at the long term. Thinking that way, what is anyone's opinion regarding restoring privileges? Amy stated that she required a long period of proper behavior before restoring a privilege to Megan. With Neesie's personality, though, she needs relatively quick rewards to encourage her to continue working on the behavior. But obviously restoring one privilege after a few days did not accomplish that. Any ideas?</p><p>And would you allow her to keep an earned privilege if the wrong behaviors returned and just have her keep working on earning more, or would it be best to start from square one again? It seems that starting over may just be more discouraging than motivating, but I am not sure.</p><p>One other question, Marguerite: you mentioned help for myself. What kind and where can I get it? I am all for any help that I can get to help myself and thus help my family.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again to all,</p><p>Naomi</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="navineja, post: 93596, member: 4278"] It does make sense about being able to control for a short period, but the long haul is a different matter. I also like Sara's insight. I will continue to work on replenishing her self-control. As for the term "healed", perhaps I used that incorrectly. It is my own term, not that of the doctor. She is of the opinion that the attachment issues are no longer of primary concern and are basically not a determining factor in the girls behavior anymore. (This is not to say that we don't acknowledge that the things that they suffered can continue to pop back up and cause issues thru their lives.) Thanks, Marguerite, for the clarification re: cognitive delays. No, Neesie has done well in school, despite having a psycho teacher in Kindergarten who wanted them to work way beyond Kindergarten level (like subtraction in the 2nd week of school!). There was some minor concern regarding Jackie's math ability at the start of this year, but she has been able to catch up quickly without any extra help. I also appreciate the illustration on how hard it can be for a child to look at the long term. Thinking that way, what is anyone's opinion regarding restoring privileges? Amy stated that she required a long period of proper behavior before restoring a privilege to Megan. With Neesie's personality, though, she needs relatively quick rewards to encourage her to continue working on the behavior. But obviously restoring one privilege after a few days did not accomplish that. Any ideas? And would you allow her to keep an earned privilege if the wrong behaviors returned and just have her keep working on earning more, or would it be best to start from square one again? It seems that starting over may just be more discouraging than motivating, but I am not sure. One other question, Marguerite: you mentioned help for myself. What kind and where can I get it? I am all for any help that I can get to help myself and thus help my family. Thanks again to all, Naomi [/QUOTE]
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