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Newbie needs....sleep!
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 123008" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Heidi</p><p> </p><p>I think the real question is, Do you think she'd listen to any encouragement to go to the counseling?</p><p> </p><p>I have a couple basic rules with my grown kids.</p><p> </p><p>1. I don't give advice unless asked directly. (and usually try to avoid it even then)</p><p> </p><p>2. I don't ask questions on things that are none of my business or that I might not like the answers tol. (in this case not knowing can mean peace of mind)</p><p> </p><p>These two usually make it so I can keep our relationships close, but not too close. By following my own rules it keeps me from wanting to "fix" things for them. And yeah, I do alot of tongue biting, but it's getting ALOT better with practice. lol</p><p> </p><p>And often it helps when I remember how I felt at their age. I'd have (and did) deeply resented my mother putting in her 2 cents when I didn't want it.</p><p> </p><p>I know currently difficult child doesn't seem to be living up to the family standards, but give her time. Those lessons are probably more deeply set in than even she realizes at this point. My Nichole is a good example. She was a major mess just a couple of years ago, today she is doing well, stable, and in college.</p><p> </p><p>Some kids have to learn the hard way. And life lessons can often be the best teachers.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 123008, member: 84"] Heidi I think the real question is, Do you think she'd listen to any encouragement to go to the counseling? I have a couple basic rules with my grown kids. 1. I don't give advice unless asked directly. (and usually try to avoid it even then) 2. I don't ask questions on things that are none of my business or that I might not like the answers tol. (in this case not knowing can mean peace of mind) These two usually make it so I can keep our relationships close, but not too close. By following my own rules it keeps me from wanting to "fix" things for them. And yeah, I do alot of tongue biting, but it's getting ALOT better with practice. lol And often it helps when I remember how I felt at their age. I'd have (and did) deeply resented my mother putting in her 2 cents when I didn't want it. I know currently difficult child doesn't seem to be living up to the family standards, but give her time. Those lessons are probably more deeply set in than even she realizes at this point. My Nichole is a good example. She was a major mess just a couple of years ago, today she is doing well, stable, and in college. Some kids have to learn the hard way. And life lessons can often be the best teachers. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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