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General Parenting
Newbie with-agressive almost 5 yr. old
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 559783" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi there! Welcome to the club no one ever wants to have to join ....but sure glad it's here. Glad you are seeing a new dev.pediatrician. I hope he does a good complete evaluation. </p><p></p><p> What does your gut say? Do you think he is on the spectrum? That level of frustration / rigidity / etc sure is a common thing for many of us with kids on the spectrum. My son and I had no luck with traditional behavior therapy either. When we used common Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) strategies we did much better. In school it is likely they have a picture schedule to help organize the students days, a fairly routine schedule, and maybe even songs or chants for transitions (a clean up song, a line up chant etc.) Kids on the spectrum often do much better in school if those issues are tricky for them. Their social issues may not appear too bad either when young. Sharing and socially negotiating / cooperating, are not as challenging until after second grade. </p><p></p><p>For many years we used pictures of our day and I put them in order on a little ring, flipping to.the next activity and showing him prior to the next activity (eat, going in the car, going on the school bus, play time etc) each of those activities might then have a one page "social story " which is a list of how to do a task or reminders for behavior, etc. For example I'd bring a sheet to mc Donald's that had a picture of eat first then play. For play there were pictures like quiet voice, no climbing etc.that I could point to if needed. We used a visual timer to help him see how long he had before a switch. </p><p></p><p>My son has sensory issues too. He struggles when changing activities and when he was little that could even mean going from standing to sitting. His lack of ability to access enough language to express feelings or to problem solve if he was uncomfortable or upset contributed to the constant upsets. He processes language poorly too so gets very frustrated. He hates being rushed in general. Imagine all those things adding up.....plus any day to day drama like a hang nail or a cold etc. Our kiddos who are wired differently really do feel uncomfortable and frustrated a large % of.their days.</p><p></p><p>I agree a complete evaluation that looks at everything (like a neuropsychologist or if your dev. pediatrician. Uses a team to do alot of different assessments) would be more helpful than just a diagnosis. (Though that of course is helpful to get appropriate treatment and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) opens lots of therapy options and can really help if school challenges should arise (if it turns out that is what you're dealing with )). </p><p></p><p>Do you have the book "What your explosive child is trying to tell you " by Doug Riley. Or The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.? There are many suggestions there and importantly ....they help reframe how you can look at the behaviors .....even IF your child was "spoiled " he doesn't want to be miserable and upset all of the time. Something is going on. It helps to identify skills he needs to learn and to prioritize when and how to work on those things. </p><p>You are not alone, many of us know the challenge of having an aggressive child. Some improve some get worse and some, like mine are on a rollercoaster ....good long lengths of time then challenging. </p><p>We too (like TeDo) needed medications to help. It doesn't cure (for us ) but puts him in a place where we can work on things and he is in a place to receive the help and learn. </p><p></p><p>Take care and hope you check in as much as you can. Sometimes it just helps to let it out!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 559783, member: 12886"] Hi there! Welcome to the club no one ever wants to have to join ....but sure glad it's here. Glad you are seeing a new dev.pediatrician. I hope he does a good complete evaluation. What does your gut say? Do you think he is on the spectrum? That level of frustration / rigidity / etc sure is a common thing for many of us with kids on the spectrum. My son and I had no luck with traditional behavior therapy either. When we used common Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) strategies we did much better. In school it is likely they have a picture schedule to help organize the students days, a fairly routine schedule, and maybe even songs or chants for transitions (a clean up song, a line up chant etc.) Kids on the spectrum often do much better in school if those issues are tricky for them. Their social issues may not appear too bad either when young. Sharing and socially negotiating / cooperating, are not as challenging until after second grade. For many years we used pictures of our day and I put them in order on a little ring, flipping to.the next activity and showing him prior to the next activity (eat, going in the car, going on the school bus, play time etc) each of those activities might then have a one page "social story " which is a list of how to do a task or reminders for behavior, etc. For example I'd bring a sheet to mc Donald's that had a picture of eat first then play. For play there were pictures like quiet voice, no climbing etc.that I could point to if needed. We used a visual timer to help him see how long he had before a switch. My son has sensory issues too. He struggles when changing activities and when he was little that could even mean going from standing to sitting. His lack of ability to access enough language to express feelings or to problem solve if he was uncomfortable or upset contributed to the constant upsets. He processes language poorly too so gets very frustrated. He hates being rushed in general. Imagine all those things adding up.....plus any day to day drama like a hang nail or a cold etc. Our kiddos who are wired differently really do feel uncomfortable and frustrated a large % of.their days. I agree a complete evaluation that looks at everything (like a neuropsychologist or if your dev. pediatrician. Uses a team to do alot of different assessments) would be more helpful than just a diagnosis. (Though that of course is helpful to get appropriate treatment and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) opens lots of therapy options and can really help if school challenges should arise (if it turns out that is what you're dealing with )). Do you have the book "What your explosive child is trying to tell you " by Doug Riley. Or The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.? There are many suggestions there and importantly ....they help reframe how you can look at the behaviors .....even IF your child was "spoiled " he doesn't want to be miserable and upset all of the time. Something is going on. It helps to identify skills he needs to learn and to prioritize when and how to work on those things. You are not alone, many of us know the challenge of having an aggressive child. Some improve some get worse and some, like mine are on a rollercoaster ....good long lengths of time then challenging. We too (like TeDo) needed medications to help. It doesn't cure (for us ) but puts him in a place where we can work on things and he is in a place to receive the help and learn. Take care and hope you check in as much as you can. Sometimes it just helps to let it out! [/QUOTE]
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