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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 152910" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Something else to add to the play - we've used large cardboard boxes, the sort that washing machines etc get delivered in. We turned them into semi-disposable forts with cutting out windows (not totally removing the cardboard, just cutting it open like shutters) and using bits of string for handles, etc. We let the kids design it how they want, and then let them loose to play. Lots of cushions, bean bags etc inside and some books make it really cosy. I found both boys especially really loved to climb inside confined spaces, as long as they were in control. It's similar to the enjoyment of being held, like Temple Grandin's personal cattle press that she designed for herself. </p><p></p><p>Also, difficult child 3 has always sought out other people, would seek social interaction even though he was generally very bad at it. It's not avoidance of social interaction, its inappropriate social interaction that is the hallmark of autism. From being bad at social interaction, a lot of them do show avoidance perhaps as a coping strategy to avoid risky situations. But some will keep on trying despite repeated bad experiences.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 scores moderate for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) also. There's nothing borderline about him, although his high functioning means he is adapting remarkably. We do need to be careful to not assume he is doing so well we can ignore the diagnosis - he will always be autistic. But his ability to function in the real world is increasing remarkably all the time.</p><p></p><p>What I've found - school and the opportunity to learn makes a big difference. If you can keep him occupied and stimulated, especially if you can do it in a functional way, he mightn't pester you so much. It mightn't be so much attention-seeking as entertainment-seeking. "Please entertain me, give me something to keep my brain busy." was what we noticed. Especially with easy child, easy child 2/difficult child 2 and difficult child 3.</p><p></p><p>What worked for us - I spent as much time with them as I could. easy child was in full-time long day care and was able to organise herself fairly well. She fortunately was good at social play and had other equally bright classmates, but drove me crazy on weekends. With the others, I didn't have that luxury because I was no longer able to work full-time.</p><p>So from when easy child 2/difficult child 2 was two years old, we got a computer with software for young children. At first we had to supervise closely because back then PCs were expensive and you couldn't just leave a 2 year old unsupervised; they bash at the keyboard and can do expensive damage. But as technology improved and became more disposable, it was easier. By the time we had difficult child 3 we had picked up an old computer from the roadside clean-up piles. It was an obsolete model but would run our software, once we fixed it. The hard drive was not booting, so we booted it from an external hard drive and from there were able to re-instal the operating system. Because this gave us a free computer, we let the kids play on it freely. difficult child 3 especially loved it, because there were a lot of games we let him play. He was using this computer from 12 months old (maybe younger). I had the computer in our main family room area so I could watch him and still get meals, do other tasks etc. Often I would sit with him to teach him how to do a new game. These were very basic, like some of the earliest games. He learnt how to do mazes by doing them on the computer. It also taught him his mouse skills. Other games we had taught him to count, to recognise his alphabet, and then to do some basic arithmetic. As his skills grew, we upgraded software to keep up.</p><p>I still needed to be with him a lot, but not so intensely.</p><p></p><p>Other things I did - when I played the piano, I would sit him on my lap and help him play by moving his fingers. I would play the tunes he liked (alphabet song was always his favourite) and then I taught him how to play it. I also wrote the note names (letters) on Post-It tape and stuck it to the keys. Then I wrote out the letter sequence so he could play his song by himself. From there, I wrote the sequence but as notes on a stave, labelled with the letters. It was an easy jump from there to him reading music. He was about 2 at this stage.</p><p></p><p>When I was cooking in the microwave oven, he would run up and watch the numbers counting down. He began saying the numbers aloud and counting them backwards. </p><p>We would go for walks and he would run to each letterbox to read the numbers. </p><p></p><p>All I was doing was plugging into what he was interested in. The walks were his time to do what he wanted, and generally what he wanted involved letters, numbers or music. We would play songs, he would sing along. He was still non-verbal but mimicking, the words sounding 'blurred' with any incidental sound effects in the music also vocalised.</p><p></p><p>A jogging trampoline is really good for kids needing to burn off energy. You can roll it away behind a cupboard when not in use, although we had it out just about all the time. We used it a lot for difficult child 1 as well.</p><p></p><p>A suggestion, from my sister's experience with her son (now mid-30s). Her son was seeing an Occupational Therapist (OT) for his (undiagnosed) ADHD, hyperactivity, poor coordination. This Occupational Therapist (OT) gave my sister a list (with plans) of equipment that she could scrounge, cobble together etc plus some games to play with the equipment. Her husband made a lot of it from scrap timber and cargo nets. The equipment included a balance board, a swing made from cargo net (or you could use a suspended hammock chair), some large light balls, some small bean bags (to throw and catch). The game to play included having the boy either in the swing or on the balance board, playing catch with the large balls, a small soft ball (like a foam ball) and the small bean bags. It was all designed to help his coordination. Interestingly, since then a man has made a business out of similar principles and equipment and now charges a fortune for what my sister put together in a corner of their garage. I'm not going to mention the name of that business, just recommend that you do some digging and see what you can find CHEAPLY for yourself.</p><p></p><p>You can help your child a great deal, without having to spend vast sums of money.</p><p></p><p>One important game we were given, designed to help with social skills - is cheap and simple. You both sit on the floor, facing each other. You roll a ball to him. He rolls it back to you. if you have more people, you involve them too. More people means more possibilities for people to roll the ball to. It also makes it more interesting. This game is designed to teach turn-taking.</p><p></p><p>Playing card games (such as "go fish") is really good for teaching turn-taking and social skills. Card games in general are good - concentration, for example. Again, there are computer versions.</p><p></p><p>To get info on IEPs and any local knowledge you might need, talk to the people on Special Education forum. But SRL is correct - you need to base it on specific need. I found I was struggling to understand the paperwork and how it applied to my child, so I wish I'd known about this site back then. But even with need demonstrated, you need a diagnosis as well.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, keep picking people's brains. But from my experience, if you have a bright child who is driving you mad with clamouring for your attention and your time, you can't go far wrong by teaching him. If you can make it fun, then not only are you keeping him happy and quiet, you're giving him skills he will be grateful for in years to come.</p><p></p><p>I remember easy child's teachers, when she started Kindergarten and Year 1, found her to be a handful too, always searching for more to do.The teachers found that if they kept shoving more work at her, they kept her quiet and happy. And even these days, now she's 26 (almost), she is always looking for stimulation. Her house is full of puzzle books, scrap-booking gear, card games, board games, several computers. Her partner is equally bright and stimulating. I can't wait for her to have kids, so I can see her with a kid just like she was - oh, the justice!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 152910, member: 1991"] Something else to add to the play - we've used large cardboard boxes, the sort that washing machines etc get delivered in. We turned them into semi-disposable forts with cutting out windows (not totally removing the cardboard, just cutting it open like shutters) and using bits of string for handles, etc. We let the kids design it how they want, and then let them loose to play. Lots of cushions, bean bags etc inside and some books make it really cosy. I found both boys especially really loved to climb inside confined spaces, as long as they were in control. It's similar to the enjoyment of being held, like Temple Grandin's personal cattle press that she designed for herself. Also, difficult child 3 has always sought out other people, would seek social interaction even though he was generally very bad at it. It's not avoidance of social interaction, its inappropriate social interaction that is the hallmark of autism. From being bad at social interaction, a lot of them do show avoidance perhaps as a coping strategy to avoid risky situations. But some will keep on trying despite repeated bad experiences. difficult child 3 scores moderate for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) also. There's nothing borderline about him, although his high functioning means he is adapting remarkably. We do need to be careful to not assume he is doing so well we can ignore the diagnosis - he will always be autistic. But his ability to function in the real world is increasing remarkably all the time. What I've found - school and the opportunity to learn makes a big difference. If you can keep him occupied and stimulated, especially if you can do it in a functional way, he mightn't pester you so much. It mightn't be so much attention-seeking as entertainment-seeking. "Please entertain me, give me something to keep my brain busy." was what we noticed. Especially with easy child, easy child 2/difficult child 2 and difficult child 3. What worked for us - I spent as much time with them as I could. easy child was in full-time long day care and was able to organise herself fairly well. She fortunately was good at social play and had other equally bright classmates, but drove me crazy on weekends. With the others, I didn't have that luxury because I was no longer able to work full-time. So from when easy child 2/difficult child 2 was two years old, we got a computer with software for young children. At first we had to supervise closely because back then PCs were expensive and you couldn't just leave a 2 year old unsupervised; they bash at the keyboard and can do expensive damage. But as technology improved and became more disposable, it was easier. By the time we had difficult child 3 we had picked up an old computer from the roadside clean-up piles. It was an obsolete model but would run our software, once we fixed it. The hard drive was not booting, so we booted it from an external hard drive and from there were able to re-instal the operating system. Because this gave us a free computer, we let the kids play on it freely. difficult child 3 especially loved it, because there were a lot of games we let him play. He was using this computer from 12 months old (maybe younger). I had the computer in our main family room area so I could watch him and still get meals, do other tasks etc. Often I would sit with him to teach him how to do a new game. These were very basic, like some of the earliest games. He learnt how to do mazes by doing them on the computer. It also taught him his mouse skills. Other games we had taught him to count, to recognise his alphabet, and then to do some basic arithmetic. As his skills grew, we upgraded software to keep up. I still needed to be with him a lot, but not so intensely. Other things I did - when I played the piano, I would sit him on my lap and help him play by moving his fingers. I would play the tunes he liked (alphabet song was always his favourite) and then I taught him how to play it. I also wrote the note names (letters) on Post-It tape and stuck it to the keys. Then I wrote out the letter sequence so he could play his song by himself. From there, I wrote the sequence but as notes on a stave, labelled with the letters. It was an easy jump from there to him reading music. He was about 2 at this stage. When I was cooking in the microwave oven, he would run up and watch the numbers counting down. He began saying the numbers aloud and counting them backwards. We would go for walks and he would run to each letterbox to read the numbers. All I was doing was plugging into what he was interested in. The walks were his time to do what he wanted, and generally what he wanted involved letters, numbers or music. We would play songs, he would sing along. He was still non-verbal but mimicking, the words sounding 'blurred' with any incidental sound effects in the music also vocalised. A jogging trampoline is really good for kids needing to burn off energy. You can roll it away behind a cupboard when not in use, although we had it out just about all the time. We used it a lot for difficult child 1 as well. A suggestion, from my sister's experience with her son (now mid-30s). Her son was seeing an Occupational Therapist (OT) for his (undiagnosed) ADHD, hyperactivity, poor coordination. This Occupational Therapist (OT) gave my sister a list (with plans) of equipment that she could scrounge, cobble together etc plus some games to play with the equipment. Her husband made a lot of it from scrap timber and cargo nets. The equipment included a balance board, a swing made from cargo net (or you could use a suspended hammock chair), some large light balls, some small bean bags (to throw and catch). The game to play included having the boy either in the swing or on the balance board, playing catch with the large balls, a small soft ball (like a foam ball) and the small bean bags. It was all designed to help his coordination. Interestingly, since then a man has made a business out of similar principles and equipment and now charges a fortune for what my sister put together in a corner of their garage. I'm not going to mention the name of that business, just recommend that you do some digging and see what you can find CHEAPLY for yourself. You can help your child a great deal, without having to spend vast sums of money. One important game we were given, designed to help with social skills - is cheap and simple. You both sit on the floor, facing each other. You roll a ball to him. He rolls it back to you. if you have more people, you involve them too. More people means more possibilities for people to roll the ball to. It also makes it more interesting. This game is designed to teach turn-taking. Playing card games (such as "go fish") is really good for teaching turn-taking and social skills. Card games in general are good - concentration, for example. Again, there are computer versions. To get info on IEPs and any local knowledge you might need, talk to the people on Special Education forum. But SRL is correct - you need to base it on specific need. I found I was struggling to understand the paperwork and how it applied to my child, so I wish I'd known about this site back then. But even with need demonstrated, you need a diagnosis as well. Good luck, keep picking people's brains. But from my experience, if you have a bright child who is driving you mad with clamouring for your attention and your time, you can't go far wrong by teaching him. If you can make it fun, then not only are you keeping him happy and quiet, you're giving him skills he will be grateful for in years to come. I remember easy child's teachers, when she started Kindergarten and Year 1, found her to be a handful too, always searching for more to do.The teachers found that if they kept shoving more work at her, they kept her quiet and happy. And even these days, now she's 26 (almost), she is always looking for stimulation. Her house is full of puzzle books, scrap-booking gear, card games, board games, several computers. Her partner is equally bright and stimulating. I can't wait for her to have kids, so I can see her with a kid just like she was - oh, the justice! Marg [/QUOTE]
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