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<blockquote data-quote="WannabeAgoodFather" data-source="post: 708414" data-attributes="member: 21165"><p>For the last 5 years, we talked about outpatient program or rehab for my wife. She backed out on it. I was about to go to a meeting for family members of alcohol addiction family member. I got threatened and was put on house arrest by my wife. When it gets really tough, she calms down on drinking for a while. However, it can never stop completely. Excessive drinking has come down to once a week from 4-5 times a week. She started to take drinking issue seriously than ever in last 7 years. She skips drinking for few days which for me is the best outcome I have seen in a long time. So there is a little progress. I am happy when I don't see an open wine bottle when I come home. I can live with that. At least she absolutely knows her problem and is trying not to abuse it.</p><p></p><p>On Codependent no more subject, I could write my own series of books. I try to give numerous suggestions together to my stepson, have been patient to guide him until his lies ran out, failed out of school then came home. Ever since day 1, we both tried to give him simple house rules and things he has to do in order to live in our house but nothing has accomplished and I threw the towel. Mother said "Where is he going to go? He only has me" "He is who he is" Well... that did not go well and she knows it is terribly wrong. I did not want to fight with my wife regarding her son so I pretend I hear nothing between their dialogues.</p><p></p><p>As an indirect approach, I bought bunch of books recommended by members here, read first and gave her few books. I asked her if she read it and said "Yes". So I am now waiting for her to take a real action.</p><p></p><p>Talking part has passed so far ago. She keeps telling her son about letting him out of the house but it has been all talk but no action so far. She did once again kicked him out to MA where her family is last year. However, stepson had to come back after 3 months because he started causing trouble to his cousins up there. So he came back. I see that she is trying hard to persuade her son but what she doesn't see or pretends not to admit is it is causing trouble to everyone. The only person doesn't see there's any problem is the son. For last few months, I could see her trying her best. She can't sleep at night anymore and is going through a really rough time. I am on a watch mode right now, not participating any. Let us see how it progress as it has a time limit. </p><p></p><p>Yes. This is the ONLY place where I could let things out... A sacred place for me. I can't talk about this to my parents where my father is going through 7th round of "Chemo" where I would just add another thing to worry for them. Their hands are full and I think I should not do that to my aging parents as a son. As I mentioned, this is like a bad dream TV series the way I feel.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, I am looking for another job preferably out of state or country so that we could leave bad things behind. She knows I am not going anywhere with her son. If this happens, I might have to leave by myself which could happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WannabeAgoodFather, post: 708414, member: 21165"] For the last 5 years, we talked about outpatient program or rehab for my wife. She backed out on it. I was about to go to a meeting for family members of alcohol addiction family member. I got threatened and was put on house arrest by my wife. When it gets really tough, she calms down on drinking for a while. However, it can never stop completely. Excessive drinking has come down to once a week from 4-5 times a week. She started to take drinking issue seriously than ever in last 7 years. She skips drinking for few days which for me is the best outcome I have seen in a long time. So there is a little progress. I am happy when I don't see an open wine bottle when I come home. I can live with that. At least she absolutely knows her problem and is trying not to abuse it. On Codependent no more subject, I could write my own series of books. I try to give numerous suggestions together to my stepson, have been patient to guide him until his lies ran out, failed out of school then came home. Ever since day 1, we both tried to give him simple house rules and things he has to do in order to live in our house but nothing has accomplished and I threw the towel. Mother said "Where is he going to go? He only has me" "He is who he is" Well... that did not go well and she knows it is terribly wrong. I did not want to fight with my wife regarding her son so I pretend I hear nothing between their dialogues. As an indirect approach, I bought bunch of books recommended by members here, read first and gave her few books. I asked her if she read it and said "Yes". So I am now waiting for her to take a real action. Talking part has passed so far ago. She keeps telling her son about letting him out of the house but it has been all talk but no action so far. She did once again kicked him out to MA where her family is last year. However, stepson had to come back after 3 months because he started causing trouble to his cousins up there. So he came back. I see that she is trying hard to persuade her son but what she doesn't see or pretends not to admit is it is causing trouble to everyone. The only person doesn't see there's any problem is the son. For last few months, I could see her trying her best. She can't sleep at night anymore and is going through a really rough time. I am on a watch mode right now, not participating any. Let us see how it progress as it has a time limit. Yes. This is the ONLY place where I could let things out... A sacred place for me. I can't talk about this to my parents where my father is going through 7th round of "Chemo" where I would just add another thing to worry for them. Their hands are full and I think I should not do that to my aging parents as a son. As I mentioned, this is like a bad dream TV series the way I feel. On the other hand, I am looking for another job preferably out of state or country so that we could leave bad things behind. She knows I am not going anywhere with her son. If this happens, I might have to leave by myself which could happen. [/QUOTE]
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