Newby with 32 yr old sociopathic daughter

[Ironstorm]

Hello
My daughter is 32, with a 2 yr old. She recently moved back in with us as she left the baby daddy due to abuse he perpetrated on her. My only child, we have had a difficult time with her since day one. Recently she disclosed to me the first time she remembers staing was in kindergarten. She continues to steal, and lies about everything. I am just sick about my recent realization about her sociopathy, and worry about my 2 yr old grandson. My husband and I started getting help for her when she was 15. She was involved with crack and who knows what else then met the baby daddy. She got pregnant, and has been with Him about 3 yrs until a few months ago. She sees a psychiatrist and takes medications, but has no perception of how to live life unless it is manipulating or using others for her gain. Just needed to have some support, that's why I am on this forum.

 

[Liahona]

Oh good luck. That is such a hard diagnosis. Who gave it to her? I'm glad she is seeing a psychiatrist. Does she abuse the 2 yr old? Did the bio-dad abuse the 2 yr old? Does she realize that she relates to people differently than others do? I guess part of the problem is that even if she says she does you don't know if she is just saying that to manipulate you. How long has she been living with you?

Welcome.

 

[buddy]

Hello and welcome! I do not have a child this age but I wanted to welcome you and let you know you have found a wonderful group here and many who will be able to relate to your journey! Glad she takes her medications. Is she done with the crack? Did she use when pregnant? I hope the 2 year old is ok, but actually am glad you can be with him to monitor for a while since she seems kind of unstable.

Terrible she was abused, I am so sorry for that. I am sure it is heart breaking to realize she has such a serious mental health condition. Glad you found us, you are not alone.

 

[Ironstorm]

Been with us for about 6 weeks now. Very torn, because I want to make sure my grandson gets his needs met, emotional, etc. and have strong feelings about her staying with us because she has stolen so much in the past from us. Ugh! I actually finally came to the conclusion myself she's a sociopath. I
A counselor and really didn't want to see this for so many years. I have such deep sorrow, over her life, and now my grandsons life. Her pattern shows she is so very sick- cant/won't hold a job, no real friends. Not using to my knowledge now . She does take seboxone for recovery from pain pill addiction along with celexa. Takes care of her son in a "good enough" way so far- at least physical needs. I worry most about emotional/ attachment needs. I do notice he is behind in speech and language so am pressing her to contact parents as teachers for assistance. Just sad to me, the saying " you know how I know you're lying? You're lips are moving" applies to her. Grandson hasn't been abused so far. Thanks so much for the warm welcome. I can't find any specific groups around my area for parents of conduct do/ sociopathic kids. I should start one I guess

 

[buddy]

yes, I hear you....if not for this group I'd not have one either. I KNOW there are people out there but even when I checked NAMI or the autism society or domestic violence center...never found one that related to our situation. Since my son is in a fetal alcohol class and has behaviors similar to kids with FASD I might check to see if there are any groups for that. I swear I saw a flyer, but again, I will feel a little outside of the group with his not quite having all of the same issues and plenty of extra ones. I can imagine that even going to alanon and those types of family groups might not always fit this kind of situation since they have more of a structure for how you share. I'd love a group like this in real life where we can talk about anything....even really hard things...and things not directly related to our g'sfg because everything is connected, and people here still have the bigger p icture of: in a life like this.....here are my thoughts for you on this subject......

I hope for you that in time, this group will become as "real" as it does for me. Many members yet my brain sees them as individuals and genuine friends. I have been blessed to actually meet a couple and several have become real name friends through email or private messages and face book. That took a little time but by that I mean a few months.

Welcome again....if you dont see many responses this weekend, it can be slow....go ahead and add a little post to this thread to bring it back into "new posts" closer to the top tomorrow and those that h ave been busy this weekend will probably chime in. We also have the night owls who will catch this post in the middle of the night, smile.

In the mean time there are some of us around who dont have older kids but still know it is a very challenging thing to have such intensive kids!

HUGS to you.... Dee

 

[Ironstorm]

Thanks Dee!!!!

 

[Liahona]

I'm glad he is safe so far. My x is a sociopath. difficult child 1 has visitation and watching the emotional junk/abuse difficult child 1 goes through is heartbreaking. The best thing we've done is to proved a stable home to contrast with what difficult child 1 sees from x. Another good thing we've done is to not talk negatively about x to difficult child 1. We talk about how to be nice and what it means to be nice in general. difficult child 1 is realizing what x is on his own and because we're not telling him difficult child 1 isn't mad at us over it.

It has been a very rough road and very hard to watch.

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. Wish I could give you a hug.

 

[DammitJanet]

Welcome Ironstorm. Sorry about your daughter and your grandchild. Because your child is well over 18 I am going to invite you to post over in the Parent Emeritus forum which is for those of us with adult kids. General is a wonderful place to post and you are welcome to continue posting here but most of us with kids over 18 hang out over there and sometimes dont frequent this board often. I peek over here because I am a moderator.

 

[Ironstorm]

Thanks Janet I'll check it out!