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General Parenting
Newly Diagnosed and Freaking Out
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 288251" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>As most here know, I adopted a very dangerous child (I actually adopted four children, but he was the most seriously disturbed). After three years of him living with us, two dead dogs, little fires in our carpeting etc. I found out he'd been having sex (not just molesting) but forcing the two young kids to have sex with him the entire time he'd lived with us. We had no clue (yes, I feel like an idiot, but he acted like an angel to adults). I refused to subject my other kids to that danger a minute after I found out and me and hub called CPS, reported it, and asked for his removal. He went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC). From the updates we got, he was not better there. We relinquished our parental rights. Our other kids were PTSD because of him.</p><p></p><p>Children have a right to be safe in their own home in my opinion. If it is possible to help him, in my opinion it's best to do it outside the home. My difficult child didn't try to kill the kids--he just had sex with them <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/whiteflag.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whiteflag:" title="whiteflag :whiteflag:" data-shortname=":whiteflag:" />. It is 100&#37; your call, but I'd find out-of-home placement for him. You have no idea what he will do or what he may have done that you don't know about. We all think our other kids will tell us if they are molested because we tell them that we'll believe them and that they MUST tell us, but kids are so ashamed when they are molested they rarely do tell us. If the do, they don't tell the whole story until the dangerous kid is gone because they are terrified of him. And what if he DOES kill them?</p><p></p><p>Alcohol exposure in utero can cause fetal alcohol affects/syndrome in which the kids do not understand right from wrong. It sounds like there is more to this with him and we don't know his history, but if it were me, after what we went through here, I'd want him to get help elsewhere, the sooner the better. There is no way to watch him 24/7. It's impossible. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 288251, member: 1550"] As most here know, I adopted a very dangerous child (I actually adopted four children, but he was the most seriously disturbed). After three years of him living with us, two dead dogs, little fires in our carpeting etc. I found out he'd been having sex (not just molesting) but forcing the two young kids to have sex with him the entire time he'd lived with us. We had no clue (yes, I feel like an idiot, but he acted like an angel to adults). I refused to subject my other kids to that danger a minute after I found out and me and hub called CPS, reported it, and asked for his removal. He went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC). From the updates we got, he was not better there. We relinquished our parental rights. Our other kids were PTSD because of him. Children have a right to be safe in their own home in my opinion. If it is possible to help him, in my opinion it's best to do it outside the home. My difficult child didn't try to kill the kids--he just had sex with them :whiteflag:. It is 100% your call, but I'd find out-of-home placement for him. You have no idea what he will do or what he may have done that you don't know about. We all think our other kids will tell us if they are molested because we tell them that we'll believe them and that they MUST tell us, but kids are so ashamed when they are molested they rarely do tell us. If the do, they don't tell the whole story until the dangerous kid is gone because they are terrified of him. And what if he DOES kill them? Alcohol exposure in utero can cause fetal alcohol affects/syndrome in which the kids do not understand right from wrong. It sounds like there is more to this with him and we don't know his history, but if it were me, after what we went through here, I'd want him to get help elsewhere, the sooner the better. There is no way to watch him 24/7. It's impossible. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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