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Newly Diagnosed and Freaking Out
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 288527" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hello again. I wanted to pop back in and see if you had replied. I am sure you are terribly busy though.</p><p></p><p>I want to offer one more way to look at this.</p><p></p><p>If your difficult child stays in the home he is going to hurt or kill someone. It will be heartbreaking for everyone. </p><p></p><p>Since the owner of the womb he was abused in was drug and alcohol abusing (child abuse, clear and simple, in my opinion), your difficult child may not be ABLE to learn not to hurt other people. He might be, I don't have any way of knowing. But many children exposed to drugs and alcohol have at least Fetal Alcohol Effects (Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE)), if not Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)). Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) has the same problems as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) pretty much, just not the genetic damage. At least in my understanding. </p><p></p><p>Children with FAwhatever are brain damaged. Their brains are not ABLE to remember what they did, the results, if the behavior was good or bad. They are not bad, or even willfully doing the same things over and over maliciously. They simply cannot learn not to do them. It is heartbreaking.</p><p></p><p>This means difficult child is very likely not able to learn not to hurt people, or to learn why not to act on his dangerous interests. You can see the extreme danger here.</p><p></p><p>If he IS able to learn, then he may feel tremendous guilt if he hurts someone. As a parent, part of the reason we teach our children what not to do is so that they do not spend their lives feeling guilt over ways they hurt others. Guilt is powerful. It is effective. It can have tragic results.</p><p></p><p>Just another way to think about this. You don't want him to possibly spend life depressed and possibly suicidal because he hurt his sibling(s) or you.</p><p></p><p>Please let us know how things are going, when you can. Thanks!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 288527, member: 1233"] Hello again. I wanted to pop back in and see if you had replied. I am sure you are terribly busy though. I want to offer one more way to look at this. If your difficult child stays in the home he is going to hurt or kill someone. It will be heartbreaking for everyone. Since the owner of the womb he was abused in was drug and alcohol abusing (child abuse, clear and simple, in my opinion), your difficult child may not be ABLE to learn not to hurt other people. He might be, I don't have any way of knowing. But many children exposed to drugs and alcohol have at least Fetal Alcohol Effects (Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE)), if not Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)). Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) has the same problems as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) pretty much, just not the genetic damage. At least in my understanding. Children with FAwhatever are brain damaged. Their brains are not ABLE to remember what they did, the results, if the behavior was good or bad. They are not bad, or even willfully doing the same things over and over maliciously. They simply cannot learn not to do them. It is heartbreaking. This means difficult child is very likely not able to learn not to hurt people, or to learn why not to act on his dangerous interests. You can see the extreme danger here. If he IS able to learn, then he may feel tremendous guilt if he hurts someone. As a parent, part of the reason we teach our children what not to do is so that they do not spend their lives feeling guilt over ways they hurt others. Guilt is powerful. It is effective. It can have tragic results. Just another way to think about this. You don't want him to possibly spend life depressed and possibly suicidal because he hurt his sibling(s) or you. Please let us know how things are going, when you can. Thanks! [/QUOTE]
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