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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 680364" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>You are not a wimp Kalahou, you are<em> very strong</em>, a warrior Mom, ikaika koa wahine.</p><p>I see all throughout this post, that you are thinking very clearly, and are standing firm in your convictions to give your son the freedom <em>that belongs to him</em>, to face the consequences of his choices. It is hard, I am sure, but this is the learning curve our d cs need to be on, to know that there is no rescuing from the paths they choose. <em>They must rescue themselves</em>, by seeing that their choices have not brought them the life they wish to have.</p><p> This happens to me at times, too Kalahou, or, I find myself looking at homeless figures walking in the distance, thinking it may be Rain....I have come to learn to say a quick prayer to calm my mind and heart. It is the one thing that saves me from going down that road of anxiety.</p><p></p><p> This is hard, I have not had this experience........but reading this, the thought is, that son has plenty time to think about what he could do. I am hoping it will be a pivot point for him?</p><p></p><p>I hope this too.</p><p></p><p> You are thinking very clearly here, Kalahou, it is not your kuleana, no, too, too much.</p><p>Yes, he has to want to do it. All of our kids do have to want it. But, Kalahou, even though their lives have been the same pattern of hanging out with sketchy friends, there is always that light at the end of the tunnel, that maybe, perhaps, they will move towards.</p><p>I have to think this way.</p><p>Otherwise, I will drive myself batty, with the other unthinkable possibilities.</p><p>I will have sleepless nights and grieve a thousand times over.</p><p>I may be too much of an idealist, reaching for stars, but I really like Viktor Frankls explanation in this Ted Talk, about the power of our thoughts, and how we can "over estimate" man, looking at the highest reachable point. Seeing man not as he his, but as he should be. Seeing my two, not as they are, but the endless possibilities that God still holds out for them.</p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]UgVA6nXCj1U[/MEDIA]</p><p>Recognizing that search for meaning and purpose that God instilled in all of us, that "spark".</p><p>Thinking this way, along with prayers helps me to be able to work at living my own life, without sinking to the depths of despair over what could become of my d cs.</p><p>Maybe I am a fool, but to live in fear of the possible negative repercussions of their chosen paths now, is not to live.</p><p>And, yes, it does not always work, I do slip and slide.</p><p>We are only human.</p><p>We are Mothers, grieving for our children, hoping upon all hope, that they will wake up, and decide to walk a different path.</p><p>I think there is always hope.</p><p>Kalahou, you have been through so much. You are very brave, and so very loving and kind. Your aloha shines and resonates through your beautiful responses to others here. I am sure, that deep down inside of your son, the teachings you blessed him with,<em> are there.</em> He knows that you have great love for him. What you are doing now, standing firm, is a testimony to that love. He knows this in the heart of him. You are in the heart of him, as he is in your heart and will be always. He will be alright, and so will you, dear tita.</p><p> Tomorrow is a new day. You will be alright, Kalahou, ke Akua watches over you, and your son. I pray for your peace of mind, and that your son will understand the promise held out to him and all of us. He only need reach for it.</p><p></p><p>God bless. Malama pono</p><p></p><p>(((Honi, honi)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 680364, member: 19522"] You are not a wimp Kalahou, you are[I] very strong[/I], a warrior Mom, ikaika koa wahine. I see all throughout this post, that you are thinking very clearly, and are standing firm in your convictions to give your son the freedom [I]that belongs to him[/I], to face the consequences of his choices. It is hard, I am sure, but this is the learning curve our d cs need to be on, to know that there is no rescuing from the paths they choose. [I]They must rescue themselves[/I], by seeing that their choices have not brought them the life they wish to have. This happens to me at times, too Kalahou, or, I find myself looking at homeless figures walking in the distance, thinking it may be Rain....I have come to learn to say a quick prayer to calm my mind and heart. It is the one thing that saves me from going down that road of anxiety. This is hard, I have not had this experience........but reading this, the thought is, that son has plenty time to think about what he could do. I am hoping it will be a pivot point for him? I hope this too. You are thinking very clearly here, Kalahou, it is not your kuleana, no, too, too much. Yes, he has to want to do it. All of our kids do have to want it. But, Kalahou, even though their lives have been the same pattern of hanging out with sketchy friends, there is always that light at the end of the tunnel, that maybe, perhaps, they will move towards. I have to think this way. Otherwise, I will drive myself batty, with the other unthinkable possibilities. I will have sleepless nights and grieve a thousand times over. I may be too much of an idealist, reaching for stars, but I really like Viktor Frankls explanation in this Ted Talk, about the power of our thoughts, and how we can "over estimate" man, looking at the highest reachable point. Seeing man not as he his, but as he should be. Seeing my two, not as they are, but the endless possibilities that God still holds out for them. [MEDIA=youtube]UgVA6nXCj1U[/MEDIA] Recognizing that search for meaning and purpose that God instilled in all of us, that "spark". Thinking this way, along with prayers helps me to be able to work at living my own life, without sinking to the depths of despair over what could become of my d cs. Maybe I am a fool, but to live in fear of the possible negative repercussions of their chosen paths now, is not to live. And, yes, it does not always work, I do slip and slide. We are only human. We are Mothers, grieving for our children, hoping upon all hope, that they will wake up, and decide to walk a different path. I think there is always hope. Kalahou, you have been through so much. You are very brave, and so very loving and kind. Your aloha shines and resonates through your beautiful responses to others here. I am sure, that deep down inside of your son, the teachings you blessed him with,[I] are there.[/I] He knows that you have great love for him. What you are doing now, standing firm, is a testimony to that love. He knows this in the heart of him. You are in the heart of him, as he is in your heart and will be always. He will be alright, and so will you, dear tita. Tomorrow is a new day. You will be alright, Kalahou, ke Akua watches over you, and your son. I pray for your peace of mind, and that your son will understand the promise held out to him and all of us. He only need reach for it. God bless. Malama pono (((Honi, honi))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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