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<blockquote data-quote="4now" data-source="post: 680371" data-attributes="member: 17356"><p>Kalahou, you are doing what you need to do, just like your son is doing what he needs to do. It is his path and you can. Not walk it for him. Unfortunately I have had too many instances where one or the other of my sons was in jail. In my opinion they seem to do just fine. Our fear of the unknown keeps us spinning and our minds whirling and we fear the worst. However, in my experience my son is getting (at least) some of the help he needs while in jail. He is getting medications, counseling and time for his mind and body to heal. I am quite certain that if he was released today he would be back in the drug/mental illness/homeless cycle in no time at all. </p><p></p><p>It is true that they work so hard to get us to help them get what they want. Bail money, phone calls, visits, commissary money, etc. but why do they never work this hard at recovery? I have finally accepted that if this is the life my sons want, I can love them from a distance. I let them know I love them but I am not making their decisions, nor can I support them. They have the responsibility and power in their own lives just as I do in mine. </p><p></p><p>If I choose to sleep instead of getting up and going to my job, I will have no paycheck and no way to pay my bills. That is my choice. My sons choices are theirs.</p><p></p><p>You are doing what you are supposed to do. Living your life. They are living their life. We are all doing what we need to do. Hang in there. It will get a little easier. Keep the faith.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="4now, post: 680371, member: 17356"] Kalahou, you are doing what you need to do, just like your son is doing what he needs to do. It is his path and you can. Not walk it for him. Unfortunately I have had too many instances where one or the other of my sons was in jail. In my opinion they seem to do just fine. Our fear of the unknown keeps us spinning and our minds whirling and we fear the worst. However, in my experience my son is getting (at least) some of the help he needs while in jail. He is getting medications, counseling and time for his mind and body to heal. I am quite certain that if he was released today he would be back in the drug/mental illness/homeless cycle in no time at all. It is true that they work so hard to get us to help them get what they want. Bail money, phone calls, visits, commissary money, etc. but why do they never work this hard at recovery? I have finally accepted that if this is the life my sons want, I can love them from a distance. I let them know I love them but I am not making their decisions, nor can I support them. They have the responsibility and power in their own lives just as I do in mine. If I choose to sleep instead of getting up and going to my job, I will have no paycheck and no way to pay my bills. That is my choice. My sons choices are theirs. You are doing what you are supposed to do. Living your life. They are living their life. We are all doing what we need to do. Hang in there. It will get a little easier. Keep the faith. [/QUOTE]
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