Nice thought, but....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Mar 1, 2010.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I called about child support- to see if I'll have to pay for the entire month of Mar, even though difficult child will come home the 18th and I do. Then, I asked about the status of difficult child's father and them going after CS from him. They weren't allowed to tell me because since it was Department of Juvenile Justice that filed and difficult child has been in Department of Juvenile Justice custody, I am not privy to the info. But, as soon as difficult child is back home, I can file and then I will be privy to any info regarding that claim. She's mailing me the paperwork.

    She also said sometimes they go for arrears, even if cases like this. Well let's see- even a minimum of $200 per month for 15 years would be how much?? Yep- nice thought, but I'm not holding my breath.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    You can always dream! :D
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sue him. They will take his license. He will have to pay eventually.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, I hope the fact that Department of Juvenile Justice initially filed might have spurred them to do more than they would in a case where someone not involved with the state filed. I feel sure they haven't even gotten him into court yet, much less gotten a dime out of him, but with the state budget in kahoots maybe they've at least contacted the other state and done a little leg work. (Mainly because they haven't gone to difficult child to get a swab/dna test, which his father will surely demand.) Hopefully, they won';t claim that they can't find him- since I sent them an address and phone number and business name, b-day, and old driver's license number from the same state. If I can find that out from here, surely that state can find him. I get different answers from different people in DSS about how much effort anyone will actually make when the father is out of state. Do you know that until this past year, if the child wasn't conceived in this state and the parents were never married that they were not legally able to go after the father for CS? We have some really stupid laws on the books. LOL!

    I can't afford any attny fees or court costs, Janet.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Klmno - Was there a court order for child support at any time?
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Nope- I never filed before, and dss already knows that. Now, as far as if there might have been some court order as a result of Department of Juvenile Justice filing, I don't know- I'm not privy to that and am not sure what the process is exactly. Here's what I do know- dss here is taking the stance that he is the father (I know he is- it couldn't be anyone else so I'm supportive of this position) and they are going after him and saying if he wants to disprove that he's the father, he and difficult child can take dna tests and prove it. (Unlike if I went after him when difficult child was young- it would be up to me to have him subpeonad to prove he is the father first). Anyway, this dss is supposed to contact the dss in the sate where he is and they tak him to court there, for this state, I think. Since he will most assuredly try to claim he isn't the father (buys him time), I would have known if things had gotten this far because difficult child would have told me if someone had come to swab his cheek.

    The problem here is that his father was deemed a dead-beat dad for his first child years aago in the same state he's still in. There were court orders, warrants, sentences to jail. He still got away without ever paying anything. He worked under the table, drove anyway, and when they'd knock on his front door, he'd walk out the back door. The kid turned 18yo and apparently, all was forgotten. And that kid and the mother had been on that state's public assistance. The docking pay, threat of jail time, garnishing wages, suspension of license, etc, really only works for half-way honest, law abiding people. It sure never worked with him. And a couple of dss workers in this state said they would made sure he was pursued if I filed after difficult child gets released, but when I went to court as was required just for the judge to certify an amount for me to pay while difficult child is incarcerated, the judge asked dss why they didn't have paperwork on difficult child's father CS and dss told the judge, and I quote "we can't really do anything about him- he's not in our jurisdiction or even our state so it's pointless to even pursue him- we'd probably never find him." I looked at them in such shock that they then told the judge "oh, she did provide us with some information." And I said "I provided you ABC..." (the things I listed in my post below.) So, I don't know if they will really even bother. But difficult child, said he wanted me to go for it and now we really need the financial help, so I'm going for it. I'm not as worried about him possibly ending up with some visitation with difficult child as I was when difficult child was a baby or little boy.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh that is such baloney about not being able to pursue child support if the parents arent married. Heavens above! Most children that need child support come from parents who arent If all an absent parent had to do was leave the state, they would all do that.

    It is such a different world today that it was even 5 years ago, much less 10 or 15 years ago. Technology has made hiding from child support or any other legal obligation all but impossible. Unless you can go completely and totally cash with no social security numbers, no licenses of any kind, no vehicles, no property, no jobs, nothing at all in your name...not even winning a scratch off lottery ticket. That means you cant hunt, you cant fish, you cant drive, you cant get a fork lift license, or any thing else. Or register to vote! All these little things will trigger your name.

    I would sue for child support so fast it would make that mans head spin. It isnt for you, its for difficult child. Its his right to be supported by two parents.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    What he was doing before- drove on his suspended license, had no other type of license and didn't vote, worked for cash, and kept any other real property in someone else's name. That's all it takes- when sheriff's only go to the address and knock on a front door, it doesn't take a genius to walk out the back door. He dodged jail that way. (I didn't find that stuff out until after I was pregnant or it wouldn't have happened..)

    But- since I have found now that he is claiming a business, is married to someone else (and I feel certain he's thinking he doesn't need to live the way he used to, as I described above, anymore since his first child is over 18 yo and I never filed for CS before), he might have something more valuable they can use against him. It will all depend on how much these two states pursue it.

    As far as not being married- the previous law here was that the parents weren't married, one lived out of state, and the child wasn't conceived in this state. Well, if I was seeing someone in Ohio, let's say and I conceived a child with him there, then maybe I'd have to file for CS in OH, I don't know. I assume that was the intent of the law. But in our situation, because I moved here with difficult child when he was born, I couldn't file in the previous state, or this state. OK- I could have filed- but they wouldn't have done anything. I had no intention of filing anyway then for a few different reasons- didn't need the money, didn't want the fight and difficult child going thru it, and didn't want him ending up with equal parental rights when I figured he'd never pay a dime of any CS, court ordered or not. I was worried about what kind of role model he would be for difficult child. Well now since difficult child has already gotten himself into so much trouble and is old enough to think for himself, I figure those things aren't quite so important. He's not a drug addict or physically abusive, to the best of my knowledge, or anything else that probably would/could have a strong impact on a teen difficult child. He's mainly just a dead beat who blames the mother for everything- and I think difficult child is far enough along to realize that isn't true because he knows how I have raised him.

    Plus, when difficult child said he wanted me to pursue it because if he (difficult child) has to pay for his illegal activity, then his father should have to own up to what he's done and not be able to turn and walk away and forget about it all- I figure difficult child had a point and has a right to have some say-so in this - not a legal right and I'm not obligated to do what difficult child wants about this, but given his difficulty over it and his age, I think I will respect his feelings while making the decision.
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2010