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NJ Teen Sues Parents for Financial Support
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 621733"><p>I was so incredulous as the details emerged regarding the case. I was struck by the expressions on her parents' faces. They look like I've felt and I am sure have looked. It was a look of shattered grief; and of having aged. I don't think it was a performance. The way they looked felt so familiar. I've seen that face looking back at me in my own mirror. Of course, my difficult child hasn't sued us but that outward display of "how did we get here and is this really my beloved child? The baby I held & rocked and cherished?" And the wear and tear on our marriage and our finances and our very selves?</p><p></p><p>I read the excerpt of the email between her and her father. That her dad said she needed to adhere to rules if she wanted to come back home, basically follow the rules, dump the bad influence boyfriend and attend counseling - they had made her the appointments! Apparently that was too rigorous for her and now she thinks they need to support her lifestyle? (link to email) <a href="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/04/article-2573165-1C0A0C9E00000578-114_634x753.jpg" target="_blank">http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/04/article-2573165-1C0A0C9E00000578-114_634x753.jpg</a></p><p><a href="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/04/article-2573165-1C0A0C9A00000578-401_634x728.jpg" target="_blank">http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/04/article-2573165-1C0A0C9A00000578-401_634x728.jpg</a></p><p></p><p>At our therapist's advice, we created a set of standards for living in our home to give to our difficult child. Nothing outrageous but a necessary set of guidelines to put us back in charge of the way we live in our house. It was especially important with 2 younger siblings watching every move. It wasn't very different from the email above - 19 yo difficult child first agreed, then moved out 2 months later, moved back in 2 days later and sat at our table and told us "how it would be" if he agreed to move back in... as though he was doing US a favor ... basically he did what he wanted, when he wanted, we gave him free reign, a car, an allowance and kept our mouths shut and expected nothing in return. It reminds me so much of this girl but at least our difficult child moved out and he didn't sue us. I can't even fathom the audacity and I know I am projecting too much, but I feel so bad for her parents. They may have played a part - haven't we all? - but this sense of entitlement and rules not applying and the chaos that accompanies it... the constant battle of wills. Oh no, no thank you... I do not want to go back there.</p><p></p><p>And we too had to deal with other parents welcoming our difficult child with open arms, moving him into their home (they live on our very street about a 1/2 mile away!) and painting us as the unreasonable ones... doing nothing to help heal our family, and yes - they washed their hands of our difficult child after their daughter tired of him, a year later. I NEVER offered to pay them a penny toward his upkeep and I would be incensed if they thought I should have done so. I am sure she will wear out her welcome as a guest once she finishes HS.</p><p></p><p>The whole thing is really getting to me - the very idea that her parents owe her $650 a week plus HS & College tuition after she misbehaved so badly - stole from them, came home drunk, cut school, got suspended?</p><p></p><p>I am taking this too much to heart. But their faces really got to me.</p><p></p><p>(Link to entire article on Daily Mail <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2574016/EXCLUSIVE-Now-PARENTS-war-Father-boyfriend-accused-corrupting-cheerleader-whos-suing-mom-dad-furiously-hits-claims-drove-home-drunk-3-30am.html" target="_blank">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2574016/EXCLUSIVE-Now-PARENTS-war-Father-boyfriend-accused-corrupting-cheerleader-whos-suing-mom-dad-furiously-hits-claims-drove-home-drunk-3-30am.html</a>)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 621733"] I was so incredulous as the details emerged regarding the case. I was struck by the expressions on her parents' faces. They look like I've felt and I am sure have looked. It was a look of shattered grief; and of having aged. I don't think it was a performance. The way they looked felt so familiar. I've seen that face looking back at me in my own mirror. Of course, my difficult child hasn't sued us but that outward display of "how did we get here and is this really my beloved child? The baby I held & rocked and cherished?" And the wear and tear on our marriage and our finances and our very selves? I read the excerpt of the email between her and her father. That her dad said she needed to adhere to rules if she wanted to come back home, basically follow the rules, dump the bad influence boyfriend and attend counseling - they had made her the appointments! Apparently that was too rigorous for her and now she thinks they need to support her lifestyle? (link to email) [url]http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/04/article-2573165-1C0A0C9E00000578-114_634x753.jpg[/url] [url]http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/04/article-2573165-1C0A0C9A00000578-401_634x728.jpg[/url] At our therapist's advice, we created a set of standards for living in our home to give to our difficult child. Nothing outrageous but a necessary set of guidelines to put us back in charge of the way we live in our house. It was especially important with 2 younger siblings watching every move. It wasn't very different from the email above - 19 yo difficult child first agreed, then moved out 2 months later, moved back in 2 days later and sat at our table and told us "how it would be" if he agreed to move back in... as though he was doing US a favor ... basically he did what he wanted, when he wanted, we gave him free reign, a car, an allowance and kept our mouths shut and expected nothing in return. It reminds me so much of this girl but at least our difficult child moved out and he didn't sue us. I can't even fathom the audacity and I know I am projecting too much, but I feel so bad for her parents. They may have played a part - haven't we all? - but this sense of entitlement and rules not applying and the chaos that accompanies it... the constant battle of wills. Oh no, no thank you... I do not want to go back there. And we too had to deal with other parents welcoming our difficult child with open arms, moving him into their home (they live on our very street about a 1/2 mile away!) and painting us as the unreasonable ones... doing nothing to help heal our family, and yes - they washed their hands of our difficult child after their daughter tired of him, a year later. I NEVER offered to pay them a penny toward his upkeep and I would be incensed if they thought I should have done so. I am sure she will wear out her welcome as a guest once she finishes HS. The whole thing is really getting to me - the very idea that her parents owe her $650 a week plus HS & College tuition after she misbehaved so badly - stole from them, came home drunk, cut school, got suspended? I am taking this too much to heart. But their faces really got to me. (Link to entire article on Daily Mail [url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2574016/EXCLUSIVE-Now-PARENTS-war-Father-boyfriend-accused-corrupting-cheerleader-whos-suing-mom-dad-furiously-hits-claims-drove-home-drunk-3-30am.html[/url]) [/QUOTE]
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