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Substance Abuse
No denial now. What's the best course of action?
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 669831" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>Toughlovin has pretty much covered it so I wont rehash the whole thing. I will point out one thing though. Until an addict goes to rehab on their own and with the sincere desire to beat their addiction it wont work. Even then they will backslide from time to time.</p><p></p><p>When any of us talks about manipulating our children into rehab, I think about where I work. Offenders take self help classes all the time. Some do it just to kill time. Many are forced to do it. Some do it from a sincere desire to change. Of the voluntary programs, the vast majority of those participating are doing it simply to scam the system, to look good for the Parole Board. They know exactly what to say, how to act, and how not to act. They wont change because they don't want to, its that simple.</p><p></p><p>And make no mistake about it, offering either rehab or arrest is a manipulation. Not saying that its underhanded or dirty, but when we do that we are implying that not going to rehab means jail time. Some buy that or are afraid of the possibility so will grudgingly comply but the will fail more often than not because it isn't what they wanted.</p><p></p><p>Im not berating anyone for trying this, just pointing out that you aren't offering either a carrot or the stick, just two different sticks where one may or may not hurt more than the other.</p><p></p><p>Good luck on your decision to remove your son from your house. My wife and I were forced to do that as well. I can tell you from personal experience that it wont be easy after the fact. Read the article on detachment and practice it. Then read the article on detachment and practice it. Rinse and repeat over and over until he finally gets it that your home is YOURS, not his. You are his parent, NOT his keeper or personal maid. Instead of Location, Location, Location think Detachment, Detachment, Detachment. He is a grown man. Remember that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 669831, member: 18238"] Toughlovin has pretty much covered it so I wont rehash the whole thing. I will point out one thing though. Until an addict goes to rehab on their own and with the sincere desire to beat their addiction it wont work. Even then they will backslide from time to time. When any of us talks about manipulating our children into rehab, I think about where I work. Offenders take self help classes all the time. Some do it just to kill time. Many are forced to do it. Some do it from a sincere desire to change. Of the voluntary programs, the vast majority of those participating are doing it simply to scam the system, to look good for the Parole Board. They know exactly what to say, how to act, and how not to act. They wont change because they don't want to, its that simple. And make no mistake about it, offering either rehab or arrest is a manipulation. Not saying that its underhanded or dirty, but when we do that we are implying that not going to rehab means jail time. Some buy that or are afraid of the possibility so will grudgingly comply but the will fail more often than not because it isn't what they wanted. Im not berating anyone for trying this, just pointing out that you aren't offering either a carrot or the stick, just two different sticks where one may or may not hurt more than the other. Good luck on your decision to remove your son from your house. My wife and I were forced to do that as well. I can tell you from personal experience that it wont be easy after the fact. Read the article on detachment and practice it. Then read the article on detachment and practice it. Rinse and repeat over and over until he finally gets it that your home is YOURS, not his. You are his parent, NOT his keeper or personal maid. Instead of Location, Location, Location think Detachment, Detachment, Detachment. He is a grown man. Remember that. [/QUOTE]
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No denial now. What's the best course of action?
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