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<blockquote data-quote="gardengirl1958" data-source="post: 681558" data-attributes="member: 19929"><p>I have been thinking about your situation all through the evening and morning. I forget who said it yesterday on this forum, but something was said about our kids not just having behavioral issues but that there is something really not right in there understanding because of how they are made. I am completely convinced that my son has issues with reasoning certain things. In some ways he's like a genius. He has basic very good common sense. He also has the ability to discern people fairly well. But there is a certain area in his understanding that just can't process or make good sense of how to respond to certain situations. When he was growing up, I would get so angry with him! I would take extreme measures with him to try to discipline this behavior. For example, there was a stretch where I actually took away his toys for 6 months. We couldn't find a way to discipline this boy that would work. If we took things away, it didn't work. If we provided awards or rewards I should say, it didn't work. When I took the toys away for 6 months, which I know is completely off the charts extreme, it didn't work at all! (At the time, I didn't know he had Aspergers.) He just went into his own imagination and used sticks, boxes all kinds of things to make new toys. At first, I thought maybe he was a sociopath. When we had him tested about 3 years ago, the psychologist said he had a social disorder. She said if she gave us a diagnosis, he would have trouble getting a job. She suggested not letting her give me an official diagnosis, and wouldn't even tell me what the name of it was, because her son has the same diagnosis. In his case, he is not able to keep employment because that diagnosis is on his record. She totally misdiagnosed my son by not recognizing the Asperger's Syndrome which we had tested through the special education department in the school system for free even though we were homeschoolers. They gave him an 85% on Aspergers, ADHD and other things. </p><p></p><p>I seriously see in him that he really just doesn't get some things and I spent years and years being angry at things he's unaware of and so doesn't have control. What is so frustrating, is it LOOKS, SOUNDS, and FEELS like he is being obstinate, defiant, rude, disrespectful, etc., but as much as it can make me crazy, it frustrates him more. There is a maturity that I'm only getting glimpses of in this gray area for him and I wonder if this is the area that is developing the slowest for him in his brain. I can't give up hope. If I do, it's like giving up on him. I'm really all he has and I've lived through it 57 years in my own life. The hardest thing I've had to do is such up my attitude and prayerfully consider how to actually help him. I have to look deeper and ask better questions. I don't know that we'll ever have an accurate diagnosis, we just take one day at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gardengirl1958, post: 681558, member: 19929"] I have been thinking about your situation all through the evening and morning. I forget who said it yesterday on this forum, but something was said about our kids not just having behavioral issues but that there is something really not right in there understanding because of how they are made. I am completely convinced that my son has issues with reasoning certain things. In some ways he's like a genius. He has basic very good common sense. He also has the ability to discern people fairly well. But there is a certain area in his understanding that just can't process or make good sense of how to respond to certain situations. When he was growing up, I would get so angry with him! I would take extreme measures with him to try to discipline this behavior. For example, there was a stretch where I actually took away his toys for 6 months. We couldn't find a way to discipline this boy that would work. If we took things away, it didn't work. If we provided awards or rewards I should say, it didn't work. When I took the toys away for 6 months, which I know is completely off the charts extreme, it didn't work at all! (At the time, I didn't know he had Aspergers.) He just went into his own imagination and used sticks, boxes all kinds of things to make new toys. At first, I thought maybe he was a sociopath. When we had him tested about 3 years ago, the psychologist said he had a social disorder. She said if she gave us a diagnosis, he would have trouble getting a job. She suggested not letting her give me an official diagnosis, and wouldn't even tell me what the name of it was, because her son has the same diagnosis. In his case, he is not able to keep employment because that diagnosis is on his record. She totally misdiagnosed my son by not recognizing the Asperger's Syndrome which we had tested through the special education department in the school system for free even though we were homeschoolers. They gave him an 85% on Aspergers, ADHD and other things. I seriously see in him that he really just doesn't get some things and I spent years and years being angry at things he's unaware of and so doesn't have control. What is so frustrating, is it LOOKS, SOUNDS, and FEELS like he is being obstinate, defiant, rude, disrespectful, etc., but as much as it can make me crazy, it frustrates him more. There is a maturity that I'm only getting glimpses of in this gray area for him and I wonder if this is the area that is developing the slowest for him in his brain. I can't give up hope. If I do, it's like giving up on him. I'm really all he has and I've lived through it 57 years in my own life. The hardest thing I've had to do is such up my attitude and prayerfully consider how to actually help him. I have to look deeper and ask better questions. I don't know that we'll ever have an accurate diagnosis, we just take one day at a time. [/QUOTE]
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