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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 681697" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>The word "retard" comes from French, and means "to slow down". Aspies ARE "slow" when it comes to emotions and social skills. By definition, it's part of the syndrome. But it isn't a pervasive retardation - it's specific. Most are actually really smart in other areas. But neurotypicals don't see it because social and emotional skills are at the top of THEIR list.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Expectations. The killer for Aspies - and for anyone who loves them. Yes.</p><p>At the same time, we have to have a life, too - we can't just have them doing "anything they want".</p><p>For our family, getting Aspies involved in healthy "normal" activities that they loved, turned these into obsessions... but obsessions that the rest of the world can enter in to and support, too.</p><p> </p><p>The challenge with Pat is that he isn't open to ANY of these activities. He has shut down enough that he shuns all alternatives. <em><u>But... we don't actually know that Pat is an Aspie.</u></em> (In my opinion, he has some traits - but there are other good working hypotheses too.) Challenging as Asperger's is, if Pat is actually more Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), then even the things that work for Aspies won't work well for Pat. It's a different twist on different thinking.</p><p> </p><p>Even with Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), though, it's more "shut down" and inappropriate coping skills, than it is deliberate action. But how to get a Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) brain to respond to something, anything, that will be a step out of this pit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 681697, member: 11791"] The word "retard" comes from French, and means "to slow down". Aspies ARE "slow" when it comes to emotions and social skills. By definition, it's part of the syndrome. But it isn't a pervasive retardation - it's specific. Most are actually really smart in other areas. But neurotypicals don't see it because social and emotional skills are at the top of THEIR list. Expectations. The killer for Aspies - and for anyone who loves them. Yes. At the same time, we have to have a life, too - we can't just have them doing "anything they want". For our family, getting Aspies involved in healthy "normal" activities that they loved, turned these into obsessions... but obsessions that the rest of the world can enter in to and support, too. The challenge with Pat is that he isn't open to ANY of these activities. He has shut down enough that he shuns all alternatives. [I][U]But... we don't actually know that Pat is an Aspie.[/U][/I] (In my opinion, he has some traits - but there are other good working hypotheses too.) Challenging as Asperger's is, if Pat is actually more Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), then even the things that work for Aspies won't work well for Pat. It's a different twist on different thinking. Even with Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), though, it's more "shut down" and inappropriate coping skills, than it is deliberate action. But how to get a Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) brain to respond to something, anything, that will be a step out of this pit. [/QUOTE]
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