No school today!!!!!!! God help me...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lonelyroad, Sep 11, 2012.

  1. lonelyroad

    lonelyroad New Member

    Only parents of children like mine will get this...

    Coaxed, bribed, yelled, threatened, everything and she says she can't go, too tired, too sick, etc, etc...no friends, well if you don't go to class this is what happens..

    We had a very upsetting Doctors appointment yesterday, which freaked her, and now she has lots of tests to go thru...she won't eat properly and is probaly constipated, causing the stomach pains she has, she won't drink enough....and we have tons of fruits and veggies ALWAYS on hand....

    She has gained a lot of weight on abilify, and has been told she needs to walk or exercise, she won't, we have had plenty of fights over this..

    I am at my wit's end...

    She was such a social butterfly and now literally has no friends and won't even try....

    Oh and to top it off, her dad finally got a job, at a restaurant and a girl in her class is also working there, and she is totally upset about this...
     
  2. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Oh Lonley. I hear ya! We are headed down that road I am afraid. I got her to school today but it was a complete battle. I actually called just a few minutes ago to see if she was actually at school. This is not fun. And, my husband has completely shut her out. He is no longer willing to deal with her. I am not sure how a person does that but he has. So, right now it is all on me to handle this. I hope you can get her to school soon. ((HUGS))
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, the drama! I guess the Abilify isn't working ...
    The only way we got over that was to have difficult child get kicked out of school for too many absences. Then we could wake him up and say,
    You will be kicked out of this one, too ... which sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. Sometimes he'd yell I DON'T CARE! and on the other hand if he had a girlfriend, he'd leap out of bed.
    Also, sometimes I could bribe him and say, If you're out the door and in the car in 5 min (never mind he smelled like a toxic waste dump) we can go to Starbucks ...
    Most of the time, the thing that works is to say, "You only stay home when you're sick. When you're sick, you're too sick to watch TV, play any computer or video games, or talk on the phone." Let that sink in for .02 seconds and they're usually dressed and ready to go.
    You have to find her trigger.
    And do it in a calm cool way and be prepared to follow through because there will be a huge backlash. But it's worth it after a few false starts.
     
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Terry, we are headed toward the truancy thing in our house. If we cannot get to the bottom of what is going on. We are heading back to therapy even thought she does not want to go. She needs to open up to someone, and I have yet to find that person. I know breaking up with th eBF is bothering her even though she says it isn't. Homecoming is a week from Satuday and she has no plans now that she and boyfriend are not together. She said that she is going with her friends, but I am not sure she has any real friends. When she went to her "friends" house last year it was very awkward for all of us. It was like she was an outsider that popped in. Who knows. I just hope my difficult child and Lonely's can get their stuff together and stay in school. Otherwise this will be on very very long year.
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear. Definitely, she needs to open up.
    At least with-my difficult child's outbursts and violence, he yells while he's mad and you get to hear his whole life story.
    Many hugs.
     
  6. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, Lonely, we made it until 10:45 this morning. She is now asleep on my chair. She said she would get up at 12 to do homework. Do I see that happening? Nope. It is impossible to get this child awake once she falls asleep. She did promise me that she would be attending all day starting tomorrow. We promised and shook hands on it. Do I believe her? No. Do I want to? Absolutely. It fills me with such calm watching her head into the building and not get "that" phone call. I am in the I hate my life pity party phase right now. I will put my big girl panties on this afternoon and get down to business. I may take a nap along side her. I have not slept since I came home. She has me so amped up with anxiety and worry.
     
  7. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hi StressedMoma. Sorry you are having to face this. Just a thought from left field, you know, but could it be partly the medication that is making her like this? It doesn't seem to be having a very good effect, at any rate.
     
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    been there done that and will probably be there again when he gets out of the detention center.
     
  9. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Malika actually it is not the medications. She has been emotionally stable while on the medications. I think what happened was she got sick last week, and I was out of town. husband had to take care of her, and he didn't push her to go to school. So, she managed to slip back into that mentality. I am hoping with some extra attention and some bribing we can get back on to a proper schedule of attending school. It is just a battle I was unprepared for. And, it threw me. I was caught off guard with this one because I was gone for a week.
     
  10. lonelyroad

    lonelyroad New Member

    OH StressedMomma. this sucks...the worst part is my daughter doesn't want to keep doing this, nobod beleives she does this to be defiant, but becase she beleives she can't go..

    Tomorrow we have a big appointment with the school social worker, (a lovely lady) psychiatrist and psycologist....see what they recommend now...all the keep saying is get her here...
     
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Lonely, I totally understand. I am in the same position. It is soo frustrating. difficult child says she is going to school the night before, promises, and I actually believe her, but when the time comes in the morning to actually do it, she can't.
    We had a mtg. today. Well, I had a mtg. husband has declared that he has "washed his hands" and is "done with her" so I guess that means it is all on me to try to help. Anyway, we rearranged her schedule yet again, and are hoping that this one will work. She now gets to go down to the Cosmetology Program for the last 2 periods of each day. And, she will be taking one class online. It is at school, so that is good. She seems really excited about getting to "intern" in the Cosmo. program. She thinks that will help her be able to be "accepted" into the program. So I went with that and told her that attendance is a priority in the program because if you miss something you can't make it up. So if they see alot of absences on her record they may not want her. (Not true but...)
    I so hope that your mtg goes well, and you can get past this as well. Hugs to you my friend. I understand.
     
  12. lonelyroad

    lonelyroad New Member

    Well our meeting sucked...the psycologist wasn't there, some ER, the psychiatrist is ok, but goes off topic constantly...the social worker from the school looked unimpressed...
    She went to school, made it to two of three classes, then comes math, she missed Tuesday so couldn't follow the lesson, see the destructive path...ended up in guidance...in tears...begging me to get her...we did go, but told her the school wants her there the school hours...big sigh..
     
  13. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Ugh. OUr meeting was pretty good. difficult child actually got to school on time today. And without me threatening her. We will see how it goes when I pick her up. I am so sorry that it is still being a struggle. It is quite taxing. I pray that everything gets better soon. I know we are nowhere near out of the woods rightnow.
     
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