No slumber party for us last night...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Jun 26, 2008.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Well my daughter came home last night about 12:30 and left again, of course against my wishes to put it lightly!!! Then today she tells me she had an argument with some Latin Kings last night in the Bronx. Okay so I go into mom mode and give her the "dangers" lecture and try and make her see that she is not invincible and she needs to make better choices, well you all know the drill, yada, yada, yada, as I do every single day of my life. Of course to no avail, because what does my brainchild do next? She puts a kitchen knife in her pocket and gets on the bus to go back to the bronx!! HELLO!!! What is wrong with her??? As I am fighting with her to please think about what she is doing and the danger she is putting herself in, she curses me out and tells me I am stupid and I dont know what I am talking about. She is going to end up dead. I called my case worker and of course got his voice mail as he is, again, out of town. I left a not so nice message demanding something be done right this very minute before we end up at my daughter's funeral!!! I mean she is risking her life on a daily basis, she meets guys off the internet, hangs out with gang members and gets in strange cars with men, yes grown men, alone!!! She told me the other day some guy tried to convince her to become a stripper. Oh did I mention that about 3 weeks ago she called me crying about 2 am to come and get her from the bronx because she got in the car with 2 guys who left her because she wouldn't strip for them. I am terrified for her life and no matter what me and my family do or say, she just keeps on making these horrible, risky choices. Every time she leaves my house I am a nervous wreck until she comes home.

    I am so frustrated with the system for not making this a priority. I dont know what else to do. It's like watching her driving down the highway at 120mph on the wrong side of the road and I just cant stop the car!!!! I feel
    completely helpless and am a terrified mess. I am at this point hoping she gets arrested, at least that way she will be safe. Pretty sad huh?

    Thanks for listening. :(
  2. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I just don't get the thinking of difficult children, and how over and over so many of them put themselves in such perilous danger.

    I wish I had more to offer than a hug.:(
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member


    I'm so sorry she is so out of control. Can you call your caseworkers supervisor? Do you have a friendly ER that would determine that taking a knife to a gang fight shows harm to self & others and will commit her??
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Deep breath, come on, keep breathing.

    I know you are scared. I can only imagine the terror you are feeling, but I am sending hugs.

    I don't have advice, just wanted tolet you know I am here, listening, and I care. Actually, I have 1 piece of advice - call the case worker's supervisor, and if no answer or response tomorrow, call HIS supervisor, on up the chain. Remember, the squeaky mom gets the help.

    Hugs, keep breathing,

  5. My heart goes out to you bran! I am sending you big hugs. I just don't get difficult child thinking. I agree with the others call the supervisor.

  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (Blurb here: Im being a bit sarcastic!)

    Now why on earth would you think it wasnt a swell idea to go tango in the Bronx with gangs? I mean isnt that what all the drama was over in Westside Story? LOL. She wants excitement and danger! And you must know all those bad boys are just so cute and daring.

    I hate to tell you this but I was her at 20. I got high in Richmond Va and woke up in Times Square! Literally. I ended up getting stranded up there around 8th and 48th in the male prostitute area (if anyone knows the area) for several weeks. The person who took me up there left me and stole what little I had and another guy took me under his wing and we hopped around from hovel to hovel in cold water flats in Spanish Harlem and Flatbush. I saw things I will never forget and the fact that I am not dead is sheer luck.

    Funny story...this one guy that really looked out for me used to leave me in this little bar while he went and did his thing. It was across the street from the famous "Mama Leone's" of Billy Joel fame.
  7. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Wow Bran thats scarey to say the least. You say that "She puts a kitchen knife in her pocket and headed back to the Bronx"

    Did you call the police to alert them that she is armed with a dangerous weapon (The knife) and of what her intentions are? That just might speed things up a bit as well as be the one call that might save her before the worst does happen. What about possibly contacting the gang unit in the Bronx area so that they can look out for her and get her out of there or even find her in possession of a weapon. When my difficult child was on the streets I contacted the police agencies in the surrounding area that she was trolling in to alert them of her presence there in their community and (At the time) illegal behaviors etc... in the hopes of saving her from her own self destruction. She too was always armed with a knife and there was allot of gangs in the area where she was.
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    MIT--you took the words right out of my mouth. Contact the police. At this point she is a danger to self and others. That'll get her a 72 hour hold at least. Carrying a concealed weapon---yep, jail time. There were times when difficult child was in jail and I was comforted because I knew he was okay. It's alright to get her help anyway you can get it.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    No advice, just many gentle hugs.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry Bran that you are having to deal with all of this. She is really making some unsafe choices. I agree with calling the police. ((((hugs))))
  11. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    As another mom to a 17 yr old girl, I totally understand. I don't know what will help (my daughter will not listen to me - apparantly I am also stupid plus a lot of other nasty things). I do believe a call to the police may help. They may not be able to do anything until she acually does something but if they are on alert it may help. Though I think with the knowledge that she is intending to cause a fight, the police will be more active? Maybe you can find a kind policeman willing to take the time to stop her and talk to her about her intentions.

    My daughter received a text message in the middle of the night from an unknown source trying to tease her into inappropriate behaviour. She was scared to death so I called the police who stated there was nothing they could do and advise that she just ignore the message. I told them they could atleast call the number to find out who/what was going on - was it kids just goofying off or was it perverts looking for action? I figured a call from the police would maybe scare them? My daughter doesn't scare easy so when she is spooked about this, I trust that she knows it is wrong. But who knows, they may have told me they couldn't do anything but maybe they did make that call or checked on the number?
  12. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    I'm sorry things didn't work out, and that she is making such bad choices. She really took a knife with her? I think I'd call the police too.
  13. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Wow. She is definitely a danger to herself. If you can't keep her home, call the cops as was susggested, and try to get her admitted to psychiatric hospital. Good luck and I'm sorry
    you are faced with this.

  14. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    You really need to get her off those two antidepressants.