NO! You may NOT text to anyone in Nigeria!! (long vent)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Tiapet, Dec 29, 2012.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Orignially I was going to post a vent anyway but then this happened and it, well it gave me a very much needed laugh in a very bad time. Though it hurts to laugh.

    At this current time life is not very well at the tia household. First of all, back when I post of how sick I was (and I just got over the final end of it last week) I had gotten orders from my dr to get a series of x-rays done of my back and left hip. I have a lump on the outside of my left hip I've had for months now. Sometimes it's a little bigger then others. Generally not painful except if I lay on it, which I can't really do anyway and don't as I'm confined to laying on my back now for the past 6 or so years. I also was having pain in my mid/lower back that is different then what I normally have and was making it difficult to walk. Fast forward to currently and over this time it has progressed so severely that I have not been able to really walk at all for about a week and a half or so. I walk but like a snail, with a thought to each and every step I take, breath and move. If I move any part of me like my hand, head, etc that will also bring about pain. If you see where the 3/4th vertebra is up from the pelvis that is one area that is painful but I also have pain in the sacrialiac (spelling?) area, the 2 tops of hips, as well as the regions of my ovaries and at times areas in my abdomen (like just below my ribs too). I know years ago they had found a very small hernia around my naval but said it was nothing to worry about. I'd normally think this would have to do with my AS but I know this is NOT what it is. I think it's partially my back but there is more to it. I do have some swelling in the mid back area that hurts. I get spasms of extreme pain if I move at times as well. I know you will all tell me to go to hospital. I have thought about it each and every day for almost a week now, especially since I know my dr will basically blow me off if I were to go into her office. She's done this before to me.

    Now as to why I have not gone to the hospital and believe me, I have twice been in car to go as I've been in tears, screamed multiple time with this pain (think childbirth level) and well am just not handling it well.

    Right now life, as I said, in tia's household is not well. Oldest difficult child is in a very, very bad way. Her normal winter cycle of depression is extremely bad. She is so suicidal on and off. I've called her therapist on it too. She is drinking quite a bit. 2 nights ago she posted on a blog she keeps that she was taking (and did) 12 benedryls "let's see what happens, I'll probably just pass out." This is her MO for her suicide attempts. She tries to OD. this time it was a smaller dose then normal and something different. Those were in addition to her Trazadone. She doesn't know I know about the blog as it's the only way I can really keep tabs on her and what she is sometimes thinking/doing that I need to know about (drinking/smoking pot). Her therapist knows I know about it and she does not tell her either so that we have this aide. This helps me to know if I should allow her to use a vehicle, watch difficult children, call her psychiatrist or therapist, etc. Maybe I'm wrong. I do all I can to NOT enable her but I also use all I have at my disposal to assist in keeping her and all of us safe too.

    Last night she found out a friend of hers online died. She proceeded to drink (didn't even know she had anything in the house) so much that she ended up throwing up for hours which in turn woke middle difficult child because she heard it and went to check on her. I woke up at 5A to it because the new furbaby (another story) was whining in my room because they were loud. I heard them laughing and giggling, carrying on alternating with hearing oldest throwing up. I can't move, as I said above so I tried texting/calling them to see what was up. I finally got middle difficult child and then oldest and found out what was going on. Oldest told me "I drank too much because friend died and I'm afraid you're going to die too. You know if you die I'm going right after you {I've long known this from her telling me this but I have known it otherwise} and you aren't taking care of yourself. You need to go to the hospital. Now I've been throwing up for hours." I told her she was in deep doo doo and she said she knew. Told her it's not the solution to the problem or how to handle things. I told her she has a problem with drinking as she drinks whenever she has a problem as well (have also known this for a while and have tried to address it, she's in denial). I wouldn't let her have car last night because I knew she was looking to go out for alcohol or pot (hence why I was surprised she had any in house). I dropped it and told her to go to bed and she had already been telling sister to do the same. There was no point in arguing or discussing further with a drunk.

    I find on her blog this morning that she also posted after that (after 5a when I last checked) that she was a "bloody mess", literally not figuratively She's a cutter and has been cutting a bit lately too. So, had to go check on her and make sure she didn't go overboard with that as well! I don't get why her dr/therapist is not taking any of this seriously? Meanwhile, I have a very wild, manic middle difficult child because she didn't get to sleep last night playing overseerer of big sister which is NOT what she needs to be doing! On one hand I'm hoping, and think, that perhaps seeing her older sister in this state will help in ensuring she will not have her own run ins with alchohol but on the other, she is my one that is more disturbed then all of them and we've not been able to get a grip on all that is wrong so I'm not sure she will process this as one would expect or even hope. She may paradox it and process it in a way that might encourage the behavior! :( Thankfully, Mr. Busy slept through all of this and this morning he is on an even keel and off to a friends house to play.

    As for why I haven't gone to the hospital, even though I know I should and feel as though I want to-
    If I go to the hospital there are several scenerios that may or may not happen but the biggest thing is if they keep me. Let's start with what could happen. They may think I'm just seeking medication, pain killers. Any of you who are on pain killers know that this too often happens. This is the farthest thing from what I'm seeking. I don't even take what I am prescribed most often (and get in trouble because of). Unfortunately ER people can be very judgmental in regards to this even if you STRESS to them you are NOT seeking medication. It's an assumption they make. Secondly, since it's an ER they want to take the shortest route to discovery and often miss things. In this case I think I have more then 1 thing going on. They are going to automatically look towards my back, especially since I have AS (as well as other issues with it) and assume they've "found" the problem when in fact I'm pretty sure there is more (such as a problem with my ovaries, uterus {I do have fibroids that may have grown and be causing something bigger}, the hernia could have grown, etc). Therefor, they will not do the appropriate testing, in in my humble opinion, that they should do to find and discover it all and provide "maybe" a quick fix. I'm not even sure that they could provide a quick fix though because I can not have steroid injections or injections of any kind to my back because of blood thinner and clotting issues.

    The other BIGGER issue is if they want to admit me. I can NOT be admitted! There is NO WAY these kids can be left here in the state they are. NO HOW! I'm already having a hard time with the house staying together with me at home, let alone with me gone. I can't call my mother to come down if I'm in because, and here is the other factor that really bites, my mother is in the hospital for ever how long she's going to be in. She went in about 2-3 days ago to a Phospital yet again for her own suicidal issues. This is the 4-5th time this year. After visiting with me she went back home to her house and stress that she had been having to deal with and there was a big chaotic mess to have to deal with and it took her down. She just wanted to turn around and come back but of course she couldn't. Instead, she's now in the hospital. At least with her she will get herself admitted in these last few years rather then make attempts, which had always been what she'd do in my lifetime growing up. Can't tell you how many times I had to deal with that! She always relied on me (yes even as a young child) to "save" her when she made her attempts. She'd have me there giving her ipecap syrup, holding her head over toilet, being the only one she'd talk to whether she was in hospital or elsewhere, etc. I'm telling you if it wasn't for going through this with her I probably wouldn't be able to handle oldest now as well as I do. It's not easy still but it is easier! :( But enough of that. We all have lifetimes and experiences. I was just relating another reason why I can't go to hospital as I have no back up to oversee difficult children if I end up in hospital.

    Yes, I can hear you all saying, well what if something happens and you end up there anyway? Well, then that's what will happen and life will take on it's own course and somehow things just work out at the time. Bad planning or no planning. I just can't knowingly do something that I know is very bad. Know what I mean??

    Now for the post title, the funny funny thing that broke all this heavy stuff this morning....... :)

    Middle difficult child comes downstairs and proclaims......

    I have a new penpal! I said a penpal, what do you mean? She says I have a penpal from a friend of mine. This is a friend she has been texting with since she just got her new phone, a friend from school. I said explain what you mean. It is a friend of a friend she texts with and she meant she will be texting this person. I said oh. A little while later she comes down and asks about postage. How much it costs for stamps to mail across the country. I explain the cost of a stamp. Little did I know what she meant at the time! A little more after that she comes down again and starts explaining more. This "penpal" is a person in NIGERIA!!! And the postage was to there so had to explain first of all that postage is more OUT of the country not ACROSS the country and then she proceeds to tell me she is TEXTING to this person!!! :faint:I immediately let her know that she MAY NOT text this person as that is international texting and we do NOT have that on out plan and who knows what that rate is!! OMW! I can't imagine and don't want to see what it is going to cost now! I said you may NOT text Nigeria! Furthermore, often it is from Nigeria that all the scams come from. I tried explaining this to her but she often does not get things. UGH!

    I had to have a laugh after she left of the hilarity of it all. Only in my house...only in my house....NO YOU MAY NOT TEXT NIGERIA! Sounds like a commercial! LOL

    Anyway, thanks for listening, if you made it this far. Sometimes it's just good to be able to get this out. I'm sure I'll deal with my issue. I'll probably go to the dr, even if she won't address it all like it should be. I'll just have to wait until after the holiday. I've waited this long. What's a few more days now?
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yep, lol, your post was long. Your post was complicated. Your post makes it sound like you are between a rock and a hard place. Your post makes me feel that you are in the driver's seat of your life and there's no reason to attempt to unseat you. LOL!

    You are going to be spared my long, rambling, caring response mode. Instead?? I'm sending you supportive hugs and very sincere caring thoughts. I hope that things look up soon for you. I'm glad that Nigeria was identified before you had some type of scam invasion. I dealt with international (pay be the minute) porn sites ten years ago or so........but.........Nigerian scams are scarier and more costly. Fingers crossed 2013 brings improvement. DDD
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tia, you and I really do live parallel lives except my kids are all older. I really dont know what I would have done if all this had hit me this hard when they were younger. Thankfully I didnt get as bad as I am now until they were pretty much grown. I always had issues but I got gradually worse over the years and Im now at my worse and obviously will just keep getting worse.

    I also had those horrible fibroids. I never felt better than when I had my hysterectomy and got that taken care of. I had three of those bad boys inside me. 2 of them were the size of softballs and one was the size of a large grapefruit. I was literally carrying a full term 9 pound baby inside me. It was miserable.

    I also fully get not wanting to go to the ER. I avoid it like the plague. Im pretty sure they wouldnt have gotten me there willingly when I had meningitis but luckily I wasnt in any condition to put up much of a fuss. Even then they assumed the worst of me and thought I was a junkie who had OD'ed on drugs! It wasnt until they did the lumber puncture and they decided I was infecting their hospital that they said oops. And then of course there is that little issue of the fact that you cant even get a prescription from the ER anyway, not if you go to pain management. And my ER doesnt do any sort of steroid shots anyway so you wouldnt have to worry about that here.
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Sigh. I'm sending you love, hugs, patience and peace. And no Nigerian texts!

    Can you qualify for someone to come in a few hours a day just to help with the house, etc.? Angela's Angels is an organization near me, but they have orgainzations like that all over the place. If you can establish something like this, and a regular person comes over each week, if you are ever hospitalized, you can organize them checking in on the kids.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Great idea, Jane!

    Tiapet, I am so glad you're over whatever was ailing you, but so sorry you are in pain. I am flinging fairy dust your way.

    As for the rest of it ... your mother is being taken care of; you can stay out of that. Your youngest got a good night's sleep. The Benadryl wasn't strong enough (whew!) and let's hope that middle difficult child sees what the awful side effects of drinking are.

    "No, You May NOT Text Nigeria!" is definitely a great title for a sitcom or book. Go for it!
  6. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Thank you ladies! I appreciate the warm thoughts and hugs. I have never heard of Angela's Angels before. The house is semi ok. Oldest helps with the cleaning so that isn't really a big deal thankfully even with the way she gets. Meals can get hectic but I try to keep things in and tell them it's a PYOD (pick your own dinner) meaning they find what ever in the house and eat it. There are always things they can access and she has a set of keys (the oldest) so she can get them things when I can not move. It's not ideal of a situation but it's what works for our family, as we've all learned on this board, we do what we have to to get by.

    In the last several days, that I didn't post before however, I've also had to deal with her cutting herself pretty badly after her half hearted suicide attempt the night before (she's a cutter). This time it was far worse then any other time she has ever done it before and she also drank again after swearing she would not be drinking again for a good long time (because she had thrown up for so many hours). Usually she doesn't drink for a few months after doing so but this time she did anyway. I asked her where she even got the alcohol from as far as I was aware she had no more left. She just said she was magical like that. *sigh* Sometimes she has really lucid moments and wants to get better and other times the BiPolar (BP) takes over and she can't seem to fight the feelings in general. There really is so much more and I try to keep to a minimum here. Just small vents though I know they seem very much.

    I'm pretty sure tomorrow I am going to the hospital now. The opportunity is presenting itself and I've just had all I can take. My gut is telling me that I need to listen now as is my body screaming loudly at me that it's had enough as well. I would go this evening but it's New Years Even and we all know that they are going to be busy as all get out so there would be no point. By morning they should be much more settled down from all the dealings. The more I sit on this the more I am becoming resolved in it.
  7. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    If you're saying you're ready, then you are ready. I hope the kids pitch in, and you get the resolution you need health wise. Please take care, and keep us posted, if possible. Hugs. Get well soon.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Tia, I totally get the ER thing, I'm sure you know I do as I avoid it like the plague. But I think you really need to go and get checked out. Yes, it could be a number of be stubborn and make them check a number of things. You can always refuse admission if necessary and you can tell them why. They might be able to do whatever they'd do in patient on an outpatient basis if you explain the predicament you're in.

    You can tell them the pain is severe, it is, tell them you want to find out what is causing this so it can be fixed and the pain is gone. Usually, that is enough to stop the assumption of pain medication seeking.

    Our ER is one that assumes medication seeking first, then re-evaluates based on behavior ect. I don't like it but I understand why then tend to do that........especially after working it for a while. Usually they can tell someone who is just seeking medications and someone who needs help.

  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member