normal or difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Aug 1, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I took difficult child and two neighbor kids (boy/girl) to the water park on Monday. (over 300 round trip)
    It was in the mid 90's. We get there and I tell everyone to give me their shirts. difficult child says no. I told him to look around. All men/boys have their shirts off. All different sizes. He says no. I made him hand over his shirt. Then I go to get my suit on come out and lost them for about 1.5 hours. We get in a line for a ride, it was about an hour wait. difficult child starts putting his hands in someones face (like if you were going to cast a spell or something) Just some stranger in front of us. He gets right in their face and starts waving his hands around. I grabbed him and told him to stop. Then there is a body slide that is looks like it is straight down. from talking to another man he told me when you get to the top and look down, you cannot see the slide. Anyway, difficult child starts in on the 10 year old boy with us. Telling him he has to go on that ride. Boy says no. difficult child starts calling him names, calling him a sissy. Telling him he went on it when he was 6, blah, blah, blah. I told everyone that they do not have to go on anything they do not want to. Told difficult child to knock it off. (he is so sensitive of kids making fun of him,yet doesn't hesitate to start with the other) Then, difficult child starts walking around the line, tapping people on their opposite shoulder and disappearing. Then he is laughing. I told him to keep his hands to himself. Meanwhile, I am noticing the big drop this ride has and am quite nervous. After the long hot wait we finally get to the top. We had planned on brother and sister in one boat, difficult child and me in the other. (3 person boat) Nope. they weren't heavy enought. Boat has a weight minimum.(not stated on any sign) So, I tell difficult child to get in with them and I'll walk down.
    I waited in some other lines while difficult child and friends were doing other things. I was watching him talk (with a smirk) to strangers, took the girls sandal and threw it in the water, thought that was funny. I heard him talking to strangers just really goofy.
    I know he was extremely excited about going, and being there, but I was very uncomfortable with his actions. When I talked to him about it he said everyone at his school acts this way.
    He tries to be funny and make the others laugh, which he did, but he wasn't funny. Very annoying.
    While girl and I waited for the boys, they came back and the ten year old told me he went on the one drop slide. I just glared at difficult child. difficult child said he knew if he could get him on that slide he would like it. They did go back many times, as there was no line on that one. But, why does he make fun of him. Because he is younger and he can???
    Is this typical for his age, or was all these actions gfgness? Or was I just being overly irritable(alot lately).
  2. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Some of that stuff sounds like my son, Dylan. I don't know if it's the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/social stuff or what. He has no respect for someones personal space, has no boundaries, etc. My other two do, just him. Ditto on the being up in someones face. He does the same. I don't know if it's really a "bad" type thing, but it probably does need to be brought to difficult child's attention. With the right medications, and the interventions, Dylan eases up on it and it's not so bad, but we have to constantly make him aware, all the time.

    Sorry it was so tough.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'm wondering if your difficult child has ever been evaluated for Autistic Spectrum Disorder? It sounds like a possibility.
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh! I am exhausted just reading that post! You poor thing. I have decided not to take difficult child to any more amusement parks. Too stressful. Too expensive to go and listen to her complaining.

    Anyway, I would say these things are annoying and most likely due to being a difficult child. The biggest part that is difficult child - is you can tell him over and over again how inappropriate it is and they just do not 'get it'.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'd say by age 5 most kids understand that they don't bother strangers in line. So, this is one behavior I would say is off the charts.

    Taunting the 10-year-old is a little more typical. Older boys do harass younger ones in this manner and even use the logic that once the younger does X, younger will love X. Not wanting to take off your shirt in public is pretty common. I'm sure there were boys and men there who kept their shirts on.

    Throwing the sandals rates somewhere in between in my mind. A 10-year-old would find that funny. A 12-year-old knows better. An immature 12-year-old finds it funny.

    And you're a very, very brave lady to tag along with the 3 kids in a water park. The last time I went to one with my daughter and her friends, I simply let them go with two rules -- they were never to separate and they had to check with me after every ride. I did follow behind them so that I knew they were safe, but no way was I standing in lines with them. If I was going to slide with them, I let them stand in the line and meet them when they got close. I will admit I couldn't wait until I felt she was old enough to go to amusement parks with her friends without me.
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    This has a familiar ring to me.

    With my difficult child, he sometimes just doesn't know when to "stop"; and he can't see that he is annoying others. He's better than in years past, but reading body language is not my difficult child's strong suit. I've tried everything I know including, "The first time it was funny. Now it's annoying. Just stop."

    I don't know if you've seen the Sponge Bob cartoon where Sponge Bob rips his pants. If you have, you've seen difficult child my in action when he's on a real role.... Sigh....
  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I spoke with easy child today regarding difficult child's behavior. easy child takes difficult child so many places I had to inquire about his behavior when he is with him. easy child found it funny, and said yes he talks to strangers all the time. (difficult child hasn't stopped talking since he was 15 months) easy child stated that it is normal for his age to act goofy. easy child said he and his friend use to "tap people on their shoulders" and disappear when he was that age. I found it to be very annoying and inappropriate.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm exhausted after just reading your post. :faint:

    I'd say the "pranks" are pretty typical of the age, as is some of the taunting. Twelve years olds can be awfully obnoxious.

    The personal boundries thing was way off the scale. Overall behavior pretty difficult child typical.

    I'm also wondering if he's ever been evaled for the austistic spectrum? Alot of that reminded me of why I avoided taking Travis to places like that. (and I still do to some degree)

  9. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    No. Never evaluated. I keep reading about different areas of Autism. He doesn't have those symptoms. Biggest issue is defiance, followed by "trying to be cool", but is more annoying than anything. He does recognize body language. Maybe too sensitive to body language and takes it the wrong way. He just doesn't seem to fit any diagnosis's. The only one I can say for sure is ODD. He meets every one. Makes it very frustrating because I often second guess myself and psychiatrist. Wonder if the medication is necessary. He has been on medication for over 3 years. Same medication. It DID help. Wondering now after this long if he would be the same without it.
    Then I wonder if it is me. My moods are all over the place. I blow up on the smallest thing. We (husband and I) were much better prior to our job loss and financial difficulties. That was almost 4 years ago and i have such a hard time getting past it. I am just so angry at it all, the hardship it caused, the reason's given. We are slowly recovering still have lingering issues.
    Will start HRT tomorrow. We'll see how I feel then.
    I guess if it were me, then I wouldn't get all the phone calls from school.
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    wm has the same issues - just cannot back off on choices like this. And both of our boys at our that age but add in GFGdom it's gets very iffy.

    Like Sheila, wm cannot see how his actions are affecting others around him.

    For the tweedles, a water park is just too much excitement for them to "stop & think"; to much activity to filter out.

    It sounds like all in all it was a good day - just some learning moments for difficult child.
  11. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Our difficult child always gets "cranked up" anywhere there is so much excitement. I have noticed that he holds it together when we are walking in a family unit - but the second he has a bit of independent freedom - like riding a ride at the recent county fair with a peer - he seems to lose all control. His actions, voice level and silliness factor seem to be completely different. If I mention it to him he says "What??? I'm just trying to have some fun!" And personal space is at such a premium with our difficult child. He just does not 'get' the boundaries idea - never has, hopefully someday he will.

    Having said that, kids are obnoxious - more so every day, I think. They tease and poke, etc. I don't remember pranking my friends so much, but I think boys are different in that respect.

    I am applauding you for taking on that adventure!!