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General Parenting
Not becoming bitter...
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 197054" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I don't have a lot of time so this answer might sound "short"- sorry. I did want to reply because I have felt this way albeit for a little different reasons, for the past year or so. It helps me to take a little time to myself (I know that it's hard to find that time) to regroup and think about trying not to resent difficult child for everything. Yes, a lot of this mess is a result of his poor choices, but a lot of it is due to adequate help not being available- whether that is tdocs who are actually experienced in the types of problems here or whether it is a broken legal system run by people who don't think things through before they make judgements. </p><p></p><p>Then- take a vacation. That isn't easy either and obviously can't be done at any time we feel like it. But, plan some family time. In your case, with more than one kid, think about something they might be able to do together without fighting. Or, maybe figure out a way to do something with them individually. I'm sure it seem contradictory to instinct to WANT or PLAN time with them, but at least for us, time away from the system and sd and all other stresses so difficult child can do something fun and I can actually see him smiling and happy really does help. I think it is because we can block the regular problems out for a while and just talk about silly stuff and relax and laugh- try some new experience or something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 197054, member: 3699"] I don't have a lot of time so this answer might sound "short"- sorry. I did want to reply because I have felt this way albeit for a little different reasons, for the past year or so. It helps me to take a little time to myself (I know that it's hard to find that time) to regroup and think about trying not to resent difficult child for everything. Yes, a lot of this mess is a result of his poor choices, but a lot of it is due to adequate help not being available- whether that is tdocs who are actually experienced in the types of problems here or whether it is a broken legal system run by people who don't think things through before they make judgements. Then- take a vacation. That isn't easy either and obviously can't be done at any time we feel like it. But, plan some family time. In your case, with more than one kid, think about something they might be able to do together without fighting. Or, maybe figure out a way to do something with them individually. I'm sure it seem contradictory to instinct to WANT or PLAN time with them, but at least for us, time away from the system and sd and all other stresses so difficult child can do something fun and I can actually see him smiling and happy really does help. I think it is because we can block the regular problems out for a while and just talk about silly stuff and relax and laugh- try some new experience or something. [/QUOTE]
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