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Not becoming bitter...
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 197088" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>I think that fact that you are aware of how you come across and aware of how you think your personality is changing is major (may-juh, as Posh Spice, or Victoria Beckham, would say). I think it's a big plus that you are willing to be a thorn in the side of braindead social workers and DCF workers and docs and nurses. I am way too passive and would love to siphon off some of your Warrior Mom mojo.</p><p> </p><p>So I wouldn't worry too much about you becoming permanently damaged. </p><p> </p><p>Vacations are very good when you can do it, and so is trying to decrease the amount of time the difficult child's are all together in teh same place. My three teens fight like rabid ferrets at times, and a shrink once told me to put each one in a separate room, with a drink and a snack, to interrupt the aggression and bi***ing cycles. </p><p> </p><p>What I am worried about is you becoming depressed, since some people manifest depression as irritability. The only non-drug (including alcohol) method I've ever had success with in cooling out is the Chinese martial art of Tai Chi. It makes you not sweat the small stuff, kind of like Valium, but without the fuzzy thinking. It's also easy to learn. Some people likewise swear by yoga. That relaxes and energizes you at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>I understand why a doctor would suggest getting a hobby. You need to go to your "happy place" and stay there for a while. Easier said than done when you are trying to separate little punk gladiators, answer the phone, and stir the spaghetti at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>You're gonna need, at the very least, to remember to hide in a safe spot (your car, toilet, garage, church?) and do your deep Lamaze breathing, where you take in a deep, deep breath, hold to a count of four, then exhale twice as long, then repeat at least three times. Try it. You cannot hyperventilate when you are doing your deep yoga breathing. It really calms me down before I choke the living **** out of someone else.</p><p> </p><p>You, more than anyone else I've read about or talked to lately, have every right to be obnoxious. You've got a lot of stress. But I think it's important to make the effort to see what can be done to help your mood, even if pharmaceuticals are not the answer for you. </p><p> </p><p>If you haven't already, you might want to check on the nutrition forum about fish oil (essential fatty acids) and 5-HTP, an amino acid. 5-HTP is often used by nutritionists and holistic people for "mood maintenance," and apparently it's so effective that you are not supposed to take it if you are on anti-depressants. Don't know how effective SAM -e and St.John's Wort are.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck to you, I'll be thinking of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 197088, member: 5941"] I think that fact that you are aware of how you come across and aware of how you think your personality is changing is major (may-juh, as Posh Spice, or Victoria Beckham, would say). I think it's a big plus that you are willing to be a thorn in the side of braindead social workers and DCF workers and docs and nurses. I am way too passive and would love to siphon off some of your Warrior Mom mojo. So I wouldn't worry too much about you becoming permanently damaged. Vacations are very good when you can do it, and so is trying to decrease the amount of time the difficult child's are all together in teh same place. My three teens fight like rabid ferrets at times, and a shrink once told me to put each one in a separate room, with a drink and a snack, to interrupt the aggression and bi***ing cycles. What I am worried about is you becoming depressed, since some people manifest depression as irritability. The only non-drug (including alcohol) method I've ever had success with in cooling out is the Chinese martial art of Tai Chi. It makes you not sweat the small stuff, kind of like Valium, but without the fuzzy thinking. It's also easy to learn. Some people likewise swear by yoga. That relaxes and energizes you at the same time. I understand why a doctor would suggest getting a hobby. You need to go to your "happy place" and stay there for a while. Easier said than done when you are trying to separate little punk gladiators, answer the phone, and stir the spaghetti at the same time. You're gonna need, at the very least, to remember to hide in a safe spot (your car, toilet, garage, church?) and do your deep Lamaze breathing, where you take in a deep, deep breath, hold to a count of four, then exhale twice as long, then repeat at least three times. Try it. You cannot hyperventilate when you are doing your deep yoga breathing. It really calms me down before I choke the living **** out of someone else. You, more than anyone else I've read about or talked to lately, have every right to be obnoxious. You've got a lot of stress. But I think it's important to make the effort to see what can be done to help your mood, even if pharmaceuticals are not the answer for you. If you haven't already, you might want to check on the nutrition forum about fish oil (essential fatty acids) and 5-HTP, an amino acid. 5-HTP is often used by nutritionists and holistic people for "mood maintenance," and apparently it's so effective that you are not supposed to take it if you are on anti-depressants. Don't know how effective SAM -e and St.John's Wort are. Good luck to you, I'll be thinking of you. [/QUOTE]
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