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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 172394" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue">When easy child went away to college, I did the normal mom tearing up thing...boohoohooing it halfway home. H took me and difficult child out to dinner and after a glass of wine, I was able to laugh it all off. I never worried too much about easy child being all alone with her roommates, partying all night, etc. I knew she had the sense to know when to stop and I also know she had the sense to take care of her #1 priorities first - herself and school. When easy child moved in with boyfriend, H and I were not happy. We were opposed to it, but she being 20 and the picture of maturity, we helped her as my parents helped me when I took my first studio apt at 19 (as they beat it out of town on retirement! lol). I worry a little about easy child mainly because she puts too much on herself and is so busy trying to be an adult that she almost never lets her guard down anymore. That saddens me, but it's out of my hands - this is her MO.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue">With difficult child, however, it's a different thing altogether. I've seen first hand how she's gotten herself into situations she cannot handle. After the internet pedophile thing at 15, I asked her if she was scared just before she got into the guy's truck and she said yes. So, I asked her why she went through with it and her response really startled me: "I was afraid to back out because I told him I'd go". Wow. And just about every bad scene that difficult child's been involved with can almost always be traced back to that feeling she has that she can't back out. Funny how she can back out on her family and closest friends...but not perfect strangers. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue">So, this is what is niggling me - in the back of my head I don't think she <em>really</em> wants to go but she will because she doesn't want to back out on monkeyboy and/or his friend. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue">I, too, have lived through many harrowing experiences that I wouldn't dare tell anyone about. It's amazing I am here, honestly. I put myself at risk, but no more than most people coming of age in the 70's and 80's. Honestly, the number of people who weren't doing everything I was doing is a very small handfull - that was the way it was at that time. I don't think there is much that difficult child/easy child could do that I haven't done myself (or at least H/exh). Some of the things H has done scares the crud out of me when he talks about it! I think that it's those experiences of my own that make it more difficult for me when it comes to difficult child being out there. I had the smarts to get myself out of those situations and jams, and perhaps a guardian angel, but I am not so sure about difficult child. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue">Believe me, I don't particularly want her living at home, but I'd rather have her home than there, Know what I mean?? </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue">I think I will write a letter so I can edit out any language that could be misconstrued as being persuasive in any way. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue">Thank you for your input everyone.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 172394, member: 2211"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]When easy child went away to college, I did the normal mom tearing up thing...boohoohooing it halfway home. H took me and difficult child out to dinner and after a glass of wine, I was able to laugh it all off. I never worried too much about easy child being all alone with her roommates, partying all night, etc. I knew she had the sense to know when to stop and I also know she had the sense to take care of her #1 priorities first - herself and school. When easy child moved in with boyfriend, H and I were not happy. We were opposed to it, but she being 20 and the picture of maturity, we helped her as my parents helped me when I took my first studio apt at 19 (as they beat it out of town on retirement! lol). I worry a little about easy child mainly because she puts too much on herself and is so busy trying to be an adult that she almost never lets her guard down anymore. That saddens me, but it's out of my hands - this is her MO.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]With difficult child, however, it's a different thing altogether. I've seen first hand how she's gotten herself into situations she cannot handle. After the internet pedophile thing at 15, I asked her if she was scared just before she got into the guy's truck and she said yes. So, I asked her why she went through with it and her response really startled me: "I was afraid to back out because I told him I'd go". Wow. And just about every bad scene that difficult child's been involved with can almost always be traced back to that feeling she has that she can't back out. Funny how she can back out on her family and closest friends...but not perfect strangers. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]So, this is what is niggling me - in the back of my head I don't think she [I]really[/I] wants to go but she will because she doesn't want to back out on monkeyboy and/or his friend. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]I, too, have lived through many harrowing experiences that I wouldn't dare tell anyone about. It's amazing I am here, honestly. I put myself at risk, but no more than most people coming of age in the 70's and 80's. Honestly, the number of people who weren't doing everything I was doing is a very small handfull - that was the way it was at that time. I don't think there is much that difficult child/easy child could do that I haven't done myself (or at least H/exh). Some of the things H has done scares the crud out of me when he talks about it! I think that it's those experiences of my own that make it more difficult for me when it comes to difficult child being out there. I had the smarts to get myself out of those situations and jams, and perhaps a guardian angel, but I am not so sure about difficult child. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]Believe me, I don't particularly want her living at home, but I'd rather have her home than there, Know what I mean?? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]I think I will write a letter so I can edit out any language that could be misconstrued as being persuasive in any way. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]Thank you for your input everyone.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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