I haven't posted since holidays I think. I got sucked back into giving money to my son because he told me he got a job and needed some gas, welding equip... etc... Two weeks and several hundred dollars later he had no job and admitted he lied. He said he was tired of lying and just lays in bed most days depressed. He said he was going to finally go a counselor , but I don't believe anything he says anymore. I don't get upset anymore but I can't stop thinking about how unreal it is that he is in such a bad place. I don't want to rescue him but I am not clear some days on whether or not it is even possible or the right thing to do; completely cut off communication for awhile. Just tired of the battle I guess and feeling like a failure again for getting sucked back in. It's that mother part of me always wanting to believe he will pull himself together . My counselor even seems to be looking at me like, " why is this so hard?" I understand the outside perspective completely. If I was talking to someone else in my situation, I would think they were stupid. I am sick of feeling bad about things like his failure with his daughter, just sick of feeling bad, I am usually a very positive happy person.