Not going to see difficult child today. sorry for being a drag

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Oct 31, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    but, I just hate this so much.

    I know it is best for him. They let him call me and after the punch and meltdown yesterday he continued to beg mom, will you come get me. there are houses around here, we can just do a few, (gave same answer, we have to talk to dr. and then he will decide) when pressed i asked what did I say. He said, you said you are coming and if I am good you can get me. I said, it is not my decision. Its not, it is an insurance thing and I did try to tell him that once safe in hospital. yesterday. but he doesn't want to hear it. On phone he started the threats, if you dont come i will beat you up to make you take me (duh, I wont be there to beat up, but that is difficult child logic) started swearing and folks started surrounding him (I know because he said, stop surrounding me). I just said I love you, bye. their phones dont call out so he can't call me without them calling from desk then transferring the call. THAT is what I neeed at home!

    anyway, to tell the truth, I wanted to go trick or treating with him. I love it and we have fun once there. he does great (we have worked hard over the years) not pushing thru kids, taking turns ringing the bell, etc. He always says thanks. It is just one of those few good mommy/son times. Now I worry he will talk about the year he didn't get to go for years and years. He missed one fourth of July due to a meltdown and it was 8 years ago. He still talks about it every holiday.

    For those of you who have adopted.... difficult child was adopted (well placed but he doesn't know the difference) in Oct. I was always told that I might see an anniversary problem. We have always noticed meltdowns increasing in Oct but I really connect it more to holiday stuff. Do you guys see anniversary stuff?

    I posted in watercooler... the Occupational Therapist (OT) called and has great ideas. she is working with him and doctor and she are writing a report to order outpatient Occupational Therapist (OT) again.

    AND I said they need an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) unit and she said it IS part of the new building they are creating. A unit for kids with Autism spectrum/aspergers/sensory integration disorder. both outpatient and inpatient. woo hoo. but I doubt it will be done with much time left for my difficult child. I hope they go into the 20's not just 18. difficult child will be 18 as a junior in highschool. He will still need adolescent care. our pediatrician goes to age 23.
  2. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I wish you were here. You could help us. I'm going to have a very hard time tonight by myself.

    Don't worry about aging out stuff right now. Just get through this phos experience first.

    I ask my kids the "what did I say" question too. They hate it.
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Sorry you are having to be separated from your boy on what is such a special day for him and for you both. May the future hold several years of joyful trick and treating together...
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Our PHN (public health nurse) called. She needs a copy of my lease sent to her. I said fine. She said that she goes tomorrow to the office where she gets it approved. She asked for an update and I filled her in. She is concerned he will be there a while. I am too. She said that it is unacceptable for us to not have a home and it would be a disaster for difficult child to go to a residential placement after this for purposes of homelessness....for financial reasons yes, but she knows him well (she has been with us 5 years) and she knows he would pick up every single bad behavior and do them worse than anyone. She said it is simply not an option. so she is going to tell them that we may likely need support for two months. I still would have to borrow from somewhere, who knows where for utilities and insurance, food, toiletries... but at least it is 1/2 of my budget taken care of. She said it is nothing to do with the waiver, it is a county emergency fund so????

    we find out tomorrow in the morning what the decision is. NOW my stomach has that full feeling again...yuck.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Doctor called during the school Core Team I missed half of it. Dr said his lithium level is .32 and he wants it .6 to 1.5 depending on his response. He is going to double dose starting tonight. so from 300 mg to 600 mg night and morning. I am hoping he will be ok but he thinks since he has not shown any negative response that he will be ok and he really does want him to still be discharged on Friday if we can. I have not tol dhim about the financial situation because I dont want anyone to thnk I would ever push for him to leave too soon for a money reason, obviously I would sell every thing I own (not much) to make him well. But just dont want to go there with them. I asked about the seizures and asked him to consult with OP psychiatrst and neurologist. He said he was fine being the bad guy and also said, THANKS FOR THAT! he laughed. He loved the hair color I left and asked if he could be blue for the day? I said sure, go for it.

    difficult child just called again and now is asking that I go t/t for him and can his friends and cousins do it too??? Now he is figuring he might as well milk this for all it is worth I guess. Really I think he is covering his bases...if one forgets the other wil make sure. He is so sure I will just eat it all. funny thing is I never really eat candy. we dont even have it at our home hardly at all.

    I was out of laundry (no excuse, I could be doing it when he is not here but I just get too into other thoughts. So I pulled out a pair of pants and it was a smaller size but I thought I'd just squeeze in. guess the good thing about hte anxiety and difficult child being in the hospital is that they fit. I did great yesterday though. Ate with my sister and had that tuna sandwich. Today much easier to eat and drink. Just sad. and now that Friday may be the day I am worried about the reality of his coming home. he has learned lots of new swear words and is saying lots of new things. I warned school about it. Sounds lke a bully to me. I heard a couple of kids talking like that to him so it kind of stinks.

    school asked for the Occupational Therapist (OT) report and when I suggested a sensory diet they were all for it. We will see if that really happens.
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am so glad you have docs and a school that are willing to work with you. I am even more glad that you are eating. Losing a LITTLE weight never hurt anyone (providing they have ANY to spare) so I am glad you fit into smaller pants but am even more glad you aren't going to have to go out and buy even smaller ones.

    Still pretzeling and praying.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    trust me, I can stand to lose lots more pant sizes but I love being healthy so other than a few days of can't eat mode...I did force myself. I did buy yougart too and that helped. easy to go down. The autoimmune disease I have has caused esophogeal scarring so it has made me eat less over the years. but all the more reason to stay healthy so my body doesn't go haywire. I feel good today. Actually am even going to go eat a chicken taco. yum
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry things are so hard right now. I know my difficult child is always one to pick up everything he learns from others. It was one reason his psychiatrist never recommended the day treatment program available through the hospital.

    I'm glad you are eating today; it really is important to take care of you.

    Sending gentle hugs your way.
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Just sending more hugs...It sounds as if the docs are really working with well as other social services. I guess that is all we can ask for in a time like this.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    yup, thanks guys, you are all right.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm sending more hugs. I hope he doesn't fixate on this Halloween forever, too, but you are doing the right thing so don't let him guilt you into oblivion.
    I have no idea how quickly lithium works but I've got my fingers crossed that you see good results and that there are no bad side effect.
    Get some sleep!
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    thanks terry. and thanks tedo for your call, made the night go much more quickly. I hope the boy had a great party!
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Isn't it funny how they (difficult children) can be such stinkers but when they're gone we miss them? The rest of the world would think we're nuts (well I might be)