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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Not her parent, but still need help
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 631265" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Silverlilly, and welcome. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I would strongly suggest that you cut her visit short and she leave early. Staying another month is not going to be good for you, her or your long-term relationship.</p><p></p><p>SL, there is not one thing you can do to "fix" her, her situation or her problems. You yourself, just like each one of us, is a full time job. </p><p></p><p>I would resign from being her caretaker/surrogate mother since she is now an adult. Many people have tough childhoods and it's sad and hard. But it is up to them to figure it out, seek help, use the help and move on with life.</p><p></p><p>You've done it. She will have to do it too, and likely, you will not be her angel of assistance---it will have to be some other person who will come alongside her and offer support. </p><p></p><p>People do exactly what they want to do. That is something I have learned. They don't change until they are ready to change, and until they are completely sick and tired of their current situation. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry she is choosing to act like this and make your entire household miserable. It's time for her to leave. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. Keep posting, we care and we get it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 631265, member: 17542"] Hi Silverlilly, and welcome. I would strongly suggest that you cut her visit short and she leave early. Staying another month is not going to be good for you, her or your long-term relationship. SL, there is not one thing you can do to "fix" her, her situation or her problems. You yourself, just like each one of us, is a full time job. I would resign from being her caretaker/surrogate mother since she is now an adult. Many people have tough childhoods and it's sad and hard. But it is up to them to figure it out, seek help, use the help and move on with life. You've done it. She will have to do it too, and likely, you will not be her angel of assistance---it will have to be some other person who will come alongside her and offer support. People do exactly what they want to do. That is something I have learned. They don't change until they are ready to change, and until they are completely sick and tired of their current situation. I am sorry she is choosing to act like this and make your entire household miserable. It's time for her to leave. Warm hugs. Keep posting, we care and we get it. [/QUOTE]
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