Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Not her parent, but still need help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 631274" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Silver,</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Honestly she sounds quite yucky, and not some one I would want in my house.</p><p></p><p>That being said, I think you are trying to tell us that you have sort of a mother-daughter relationship with her, and that she is acting out in sort of adolescent ways against her "parents" (you and your husband.</p><p></p><p>I did put myself in a similar situation last summer, when I let my ex-difficult child 19 year old daugher and her difficult child best friend live with me for the summer. </p><p></p><p>It was very nice at first and then got uglier, with less and less helpfulness, less and less thoughtfulness, and more broken rules.</p><p></p><p>I threw the friend out when I encountered a guy coming from her bedroom in the morning (clearly against the rules--I have nothing against sex, but if I make a rule I expect it to be kept)</p><p></p><p>My daughter flipped out and I got backed into revisiting it.</p><p></p><p>We had a sit down, state of the union meeting, agreed to new ground rules, and established a zero tolerance policy going forward. She was warned, and honestly I would have felt fine about throwing her out if she acted out again.</p><p></p><p>So I suggest...you or you and husband (that is better) sit down with your sister. Tell her ahead of time that you want to have a "state of the union" conversation, and she should be prepared to say what she thinks is working and not working, and you will do the same. You can warn her if you want that you feel there are some issues, but also that you want her to stay and for the rest of the summer to be happy and healthy for all (see your quote above about being at your wits ened and her negative vibes!!).</p><p></p><p>Then...tell her. Tell her you love her, and you know she can act more like a respectful adult member of the household than has been happening. Tell her you want to revisit some of the ground rules that haven't been working for you or your family. Tell her you all need to agree on some bathroom etiquette, because SHE DOESNT HAVE HER OWN BATHROOM RIGHT NOW. Tell her if she keeps you waiting, you won't wait (or you will wait, or however you want to handle it). GIve her a chance at a time when it is not the heat of the moment to hear what you have to say, and let her take the growing up step of addressing it...or not.</p><p></p><p>If she doesn't shape up I'd ask her to leave. I've never met a 20 something who couldn't find a couch to sleep on for a few weeks.</p><p></p><p>My two cents. </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 631274, member: 17269"] Silver, Honestly she sounds quite yucky, and not some one I would want in my house. That being said, I think you are trying to tell us that you have sort of a mother-daughter relationship with her, and that she is acting out in sort of adolescent ways against her "parents" (you and your husband. I did put myself in a similar situation last summer, when I let my ex-difficult child 19 year old daugher and her difficult child best friend live with me for the summer. It was very nice at first and then got uglier, with less and less helpfulness, less and less thoughtfulness, and more broken rules. I threw the friend out when I encountered a guy coming from her bedroom in the morning (clearly against the rules--I have nothing against sex, but if I make a rule I expect it to be kept) My daughter flipped out and I got backed into revisiting it. We had a sit down, state of the union meeting, agreed to new ground rules, and established a zero tolerance policy going forward. She was warned, and honestly I would have felt fine about throwing her out if she acted out again. So I suggest...you or you and husband (that is better) sit down with your sister. Tell her ahead of time that you want to have a "state of the union" conversation, and she should be prepared to say what she thinks is working and not working, and you will do the same. You can warn her if you want that you feel there are some issues, but also that you want her to stay and for the rest of the summer to be happy and healthy for all (see your quote above about being at your wits ened and her negative vibes!!). Then...tell her. Tell her you love her, and you know she can act more like a respectful adult member of the household than has been happening. Tell her you want to revisit some of the ground rules that haven't been working for you or your family. Tell her you all need to agree on some bathroom etiquette, because SHE DOESNT HAVE HER OWN BATHROOM RIGHT NOW. Tell her if she keeps you waiting, you won't wait (or you will wait, or however you want to handle it). GIve her a chance at a time when it is not the heat of the moment to hear what you have to say, and let her take the growing up step of addressing it...or not. If she doesn't shape up I'd ask her to leave. I've never met a 20 something who couldn't find a couch to sleep on for a few weeks. My two cents. Echo [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Not her parent, but still need help
Top