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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 570430" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry that you have to deal with this. I have zero idea why some people are this way over gifts. I have several relatives I won't give gifts to, and other than stepmil I really don't give a dang what we give to those on husband's side of the family. I cross stitch something for stepmil each year because she gets so very much pleasure out of them. I enjoy giving these to her and she truly cherishes them. </p><p></p><p>I spent YEARS wondering what was wrong with me that many relatives and even my own brother couldn't take any time or invest any effort into finding ANYTHING I might enjoy. Several people who think that they are very good to me cannot even bother to make sure that a gift bought at a thrift store has all the pieces needed for basic functioning. My bro and my mom's bff both routinely give things that they KNOW that I am allergic to and get violently sick from. I am pretty sure my bro does it on purpose so he can whine to Mommy that I don't appreciate his carefully chosen gifts and won''t use them or keep them. It is truly bizarre. </p><p></p><p>A few years ago I decided that these people didn't contribute in any positive way to my life so I stopped making the effort to stay in touch. OTher than bro's rants on voicemail and packages of koi left as gifts on our doorstep, not a single one has called or sent a letter or email. I know for a fact that they all email and write, and they do this to my parents and brother, but they never even responded back when I was emailing and writing and many times they were too busy to talk on the phone and would call me back. But that call never came. </p><p></p><p>With therapy I am coming to terms with this being a flaw in these people and not in me. husband says that several of them are uncomfortable around me because they know I see through their BS and the show of caring that they put on for my mother. It still hurts a bit, but nowhere near as bad as it used to.</p><p></p><p>I thnk that you totally did the right thing by donating those gifts. It is clear that brother in law didn't mean that he didn't want gfts, he just didn't want to GIVE gifts! If your husband gets upset, then he can go and take care of things. in my opinion these people are users. Life is too short to waste nice things on people who just want to use you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 570430, member: 1233"] I am sorry that you have to deal with this. I have zero idea why some people are this way over gifts. I have several relatives I won't give gifts to, and other than stepmil I really don't give a dang what we give to those on husband's side of the family. I cross stitch something for stepmil each year because she gets so very much pleasure out of them. I enjoy giving these to her and she truly cherishes them. I spent YEARS wondering what was wrong with me that many relatives and even my own brother couldn't take any time or invest any effort into finding ANYTHING I might enjoy. Several people who think that they are very good to me cannot even bother to make sure that a gift bought at a thrift store has all the pieces needed for basic functioning. My bro and my mom's bff both routinely give things that they KNOW that I am allergic to and get violently sick from. I am pretty sure my bro does it on purpose so he can whine to Mommy that I don't appreciate his carefully chosen gifts and won''t use them or keep them. It is truly bizarre. A few years ago I decided that these people didn't contribute in any positive way to my life so I stopped making the effort to stay in touch. OTher than bro's rants on voicemail and packages of koi left as gifts on our doorstep, not a single one has called or sent a letter or email. I know for a fact that they all email and write, and they do this to my parents and brother, but they never even responded back when I was emailing and writing and many times they were too busy to talk on the phone and would call me back. But that call never came. With therapy I am coming to terms with this being a flaw in these people and not in me. husband says that several of them are uncomfortable around me because they know I see through their BS and the show of caring that they put on for my mother. It still hurts a bit, but nowhere near as bad as it used to. I thnk that you totally did the right thing by donating those gifts. It is clear that brother in law didn't mean that he didn't want gfts, he just didn't want to GIVE gifts! If your husband gets upset, then he can go and take care of things. in my opinion these people are users. Life is too short to waste nice things on people who just want to use you. [/QUOTE]
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