Not loving my life right now.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Feb 27, 2013.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I am so beyond sick of dealing with difficult child. I am just tired. I may be married, but I am doing this all on my own, and I can't do it much longer. I do not know how all of you single parents do it. difficult child has not showered since Sunday morning. Nor has she changed her underwear. She is supposed to be showering today but we leave in 30 minutes and have yet to have the water turn on. I am so tired of the emotional blackmail from her. I know I need to heed my own advice that I have put out here, but man... I am so worn out right now. husband has been a tiny bit of help but nothing to rave about. He has been spending some time with her, but not without me being there.

    Thank goodness for our therapist appointment tmrw night. Little does difficult child know it will be with me as well. Normally she goes by herself, and I do not really even talk to therapist. But, I am texting her today to let her know what has been going on.

    Well, the shower is on, but we need to leave the house in 20 minutes, and it take her at least that long to shower. Although she "promises" she will be on time. And when I hollered up at her that she was running out of time, I got the "it will be your fault I am late because you keep bothering me" Why is there always transfer of blame.

    And, I think she may be losing her cell phone soon. She changed the password on it, and that is a big no no. And I caught her lying about texting which means she is talking to people she shouldn't be. (which would explain the change in behavior lately.)
     
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh wow, so frustrating is right. I'm sorry it falls all on you. I hope she got her bootie out of the shower on time.

    Can you switch her to a simple no text cell phone? If she needs one at all?

    (Gosh remember the days when parents had to decide whether to add call waiting? Phone drama. Uggg )

    It's hard to imagine she's not embarrassed by not showering. Q puts it off lately but changes undies etc. I will be in deep doo doo if he stops liking to smell good. He is humiliated from the few times he didn't and someone told him
    He took a shower right after getting off the bus.

    She won't shower at night either?

    I hope the doctor will help you. I think you're smart to text ahead of time.

    Hugs, hang in there. I understand wanting to quit sometimes too.
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear. I hear you!
    I had to scream at difficult child last night to brush his teeth. It had been two wks. Ewwwwwww!

    Underwear? Ewww! I'm so sorry.

    I'd be taking away the phone until she takes a shower. But that's just me.
     
  4. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    I'd be taking the phone away NOW. No shower, no clean undies, no phone. Period. But I'm mean, just ask difficult child...

    (I also get blamed for everything. SO not fun.)

    Hang in there.
     
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    She got out of the shower, and was at school on time. But I am sick of the I am not doing it because you are telling me to. And, she is pushing the boundries I know, but I am beyond tired of it.
     
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Wow. Know well that shower fight, but not changing her underwear? Have you tried having a doctor scare her into better cleaning tactics? Maybe an OB/GYN or something.
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I absolutely know that the idea is to get them to make healthy choices BUT with difficult child#2 I scooped up his dirty clothes anytime he took them off and started the washing machine immediately so they would be wet and unwearable. It drove me nuts when he went thru that stage of dirty body/dirty clothes. YUK! Good luck. DDD
     
  8. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks DDD. I am not sure what exactly is going on with her. She isn't normally like this. We went from being over concerned about our appearance to not really caring much at all. The not showering isn't that bad. she usually showers every other day, and in the winter it is no big deal. But the not changing underwear is just plain nasty. I really just want a couple of days to myself to recharge and not have to worry about difficult child or anyone else for that matter. Because even when I am out doing something else, everyones first call is to me. And, I would love to just have a typical teen for awhile. I love difficult child, but man can she frustrate the koi out of me.
     
  9. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    What would happen if you took off for a few hours, with husband home with difficult child, and 'forgot' your phone?
     
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    It sounds like she is too depressed to care. Maybe she needs her medications adjusted?
     
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    JJJ, that is what I was thinking, but she isn't really depressed. She is more trying to control everything. If we tell her to do something, she fights it. I know some of it is typical teen and she is trying to assert some independence, but...
     
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I keep wondering what has been missed by the docs.
    The combination of behaviors, at her age, is NOT "typical teen".
    Any one piece, probably. Which makes it confusing.
     
  13. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I don't know. She is so very secretive. I just wish I could get into her head. I am going to list all that is going on, and see if you warrior moms can help break it down. She is depressed, anxious (very) has few friends (maybe 2) the rest I would say are acquaintances. Had a boyfriend for about a month or 2. Says she likes no boys at school. Asked if she liked girls. We have no problem with it at all at our house. Has ADD, is birthcontrol to help regulate her periods. Hates to have anyone touch her. Can be very responsible when it is things she likes to do. Like giving riding lessons. She is always on time, and takes it seriously. School, flunking out. Again. If you have any ideas, PLEASE shout it out. And if you want other details, just ask. Oh and she cuts (self injures) on her upper thigh. She had stopped for more than a year but relapsed about 2 months ago. No idea what caused it.
     
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