Not personal...just a man we know and hope the best for

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Jan 19, 2012.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Our business is next door to a day labor business. Obviously we "see" addiction every day and a couple of the regulars we have had pull weeds or small odd jobs when they were particularly needy. One of the men has gone thru treatment and is in recovery. The other man is in his 30's or maybe pushing 40. He is polite and bright as well as being a hard worker. Yesterday he came in the store. His family has detached because of his lifelong addiction (although they pay him to do yard work or whatever on an irregular basis).

    He told me yesterday that he lost his girlfriend, lost his apt. and his Dad passed away last week. He is back to living in a tent in the woods. I asked him how many times he had been to rehab he replied four times. Then he added "they want me to come back again but I have to go to the detox center for five days before they will take me". Most upsetting to me was that he added "I had DT's last night so I'm having a hard time". OMG...can you imagine having the DT's living in a tent in the woods. My heart breaks for him and his family. Last year he said to difficult child#1 "you really need to stay away from that stuff so you can have a life...but I don't think you're ready". difficult child, of course, doesn't see himself as a "real" alcoholic because he only drinks three or four nights a week. So sad. DDD
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh dear that is so sad and would break my heart. Addiction is all around us. I wish there was more help out there.

  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is so scary for all of us who have adult children with addiction issues. I hope he gets the help he needs.
  4. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Very scary indeed, DDD. When my son was in the hospital getting detoxed from alcohol, they told him detoxing from alcohol is more dangerous than detoxing from drugs. This is if someone were drinking alcohol daily very heavily, as my difficult child was at the time.

    I hope he's able to get some help.

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I hope the man will go to detox. People die from alcohol withdrawal - it is incredibly serious. Addiction is such a sad, sick disease.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    So sad. I hope he can make the choice to do detox and rehab... can't be easy to know you are about to face a long time of really feeling so sick and awful though. Just really an awful disease.

    a really good high school (well really we have known each other since elementary school) friend just contacted me thru FB. He just started recovery last summer. He is a principal in a school and has five kids, his wife is bipolar and had an affair and he is spilling so much after all this time I wonder about him too. Is that normal? To be so enthralled with all you are discovering to tell someone you have not talked to for a long time? Plus I think the internet makes it easier to just spill it because no one is sitting and reacting right in front of your face. Or is that itself a bipolar symptom?

    He has actually called too and I dont mind listening . He is not flirting or anything and I have strong views of that sort of thing so my boundaries are good. I feel terrible for his wife and so does he though he is not blaming himself for her affair anymore. But he does see his part in the downfall of their marriage. I see his school posts and what he is accomplishing etc.. and wow, one would never know. He even took over for the superintendent when he had to go for a year. Just amazing how people do differently when they are using... he did that before treatment.

    He said he was even at the point when he was having black outs. He has told his bosses and is maybe even overly honest... again, is that normal? he said his sponsor says he over shares, is that part of the process?? A mistake some make just because they are so excited and happy about their new journey (I might add he is very spiritual and religious, in fact his mom was my CCD teacher when we were in catholic school together.) so this is not new (the religious thing for him) and he has found that he has renewed his path that way.... his school is a catholic school too. I want to be supportive but am very careful about boundaries not due to us being different sexes as much as I dont want him to end up embarrassed that he over-shared.
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So sad....