Not ready to go back or how difficult child will take it

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mum2JK&TH, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    In two weeks from now we have to put difficult child back on his medications. Not because we want to but because we have too and that in itself, breaks my heart. I am embarrassed to say "I hate school"

    He has still been a handful at times, ok, many times, but he has been affectionate and has always tried to eventually make a good choice. It may not have been the first time, or the third, but eventually we got there. He has looked like he was in there with his feelings instead of the drugs controlling them. I have not had the moodiness or up and downs that the stimulants cause.

    You know I am very lucky because although he is troubled with all of these diagnosises, I really have enjoyed my little boy this summer. Every year he's better. He has played hockey medication free and did a great job. We have gone out, gone to movies, done many things and he has been good. He is learning what is acceptable and what's not. All medication free. What I am doing to praise him with all that? Sticking him back on those medications, nice mother. He's not going to understand why and he hates taking them. I just don't know how to tell him that it's time to start them up again.

    I feel like such a rotten mother :crying:
     
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    If he needs the medications I would not feel bad for getting him back on...the only alternative is home schooling, would that be a possibility? I always hated school too, because that's where all the trouble got started....good luck....
     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    When was the last time he tried no medications at school?
     
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Christine

    <<Hugs>>

    I hated medicating my difficult child too, even tho he needed them, until the day I forgot his morning medications and he came to me asking for them...

    I'm with BW, when was the last time you tried school medication-free or looked into changing the times, doseages, or medications. Maybe its time to revisit those things with the school and his team of docs.
     
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Don't feel badly about dreading school, I think we all feel that to some degree or another. There are so many stressors and variables in school, that I remember getting an anxiety attack just dropping my son off in the morning, not to mention what he would feel.

    As far as the medications, why, in your opinion, do you think he will need, or has to be on the medications at school? There are many children who do not do well on stims because they cause moodiness, and therefore they are not able to take them. If you feel your child is one of them, than, I vote for discontinuing them even if it means less concentration. My son could never, ever take stims, they made him suicidal, and we tried them all. Therefore, he had to have Special Education modify his school work in order for him to get it all done.

    I also see he is on Clonidine, which is not a stimulant, but does help with hyperactivity. Does this make him moody too? If not, could he be on a higher dose of that, instead of on stims?

    Just thoughts - wishing you the best.
     
  6. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    We struggled all through last year with medications and this combo seems to be the only thing that works with school. It's what they seem to cause when they aren't working, the mood swings, ugg (the time between getting home from school till the next dosage in the morning) He started school last year medication free and he just cannot cope. The school does not want him back without them, he's just to hard to handle. The Clonidine is for his tics, mainly the ones that worsen because of the stims. It did/does nothing for the ADHD. Actually nothing but the stims have worked for that part. He is such an extreme case of it that nothing else seems to work.
     
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Christine, has he ever been prescribed anything for anxiety? The symptoms of anxiety can look a lot like ADHD. I'm wondering if he would settle down if his anxiety were treated.
     
  8. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    ug, I dislike the library computer, Ijust wrote you a reply and something happened and it blipped off intocyberspace.

    OK, um......
    first off, a school, as far as I know, cannot legally require your son to be medicated.
    2nd, if the medications make life more difficult for your child, that is not a good thing. What good will it do for him to be very well educated but having a whole lot of difficulties in other parts of his life to a degree maybe he cannot USE his academics? There needs to be some type of balance. and while I know this is not the most popular opinion, academics themself are not everything, people with less academics can still go very far in life with their other abilities and skills. There are people with wonderful academics but other things interfere with their ability to utilyze their academics.
    I would try to find some way to balance the best and be on medium ground......but if the medications interfere with everything else besides school itself- I am not sure that is a good benefit-risk outcome.
     
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yea............I was thinking the same thing as Dreamer. By law, the school cannot require your son to take any medications let alone certain medications. I would talk to psychiatrist and see if he can change the medications to ones that your child tolerates better. No one should ever take medications that only do 50% of the job!!!! Plus he is getting tics from them - which is not fun! It may help him in school, but outside of the home it does not. So, in my opinion, you need to take a stand with the school and psychiatrist and find a solution that causes him to be successful both in school and at home. He needs to be happy both places, otherwise it is inhumane. There are lots of medications out there that can help........you just have to do a bit of trial and error, and perhaps find a psychiatrist that is willing to do that.

    Good luck.
     
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Christine,
    I'm with the others in that I don't think they can require medications. I know in our state they can't. While our difficult child always needs his medications we don't have on any stimulants because even though it works for the ADHD part it aggravates the Bipolar so we told school we aren't medicating for the ADHD (although the Clonidine does help some).

    Please don't feel like a rotten mom-you are not rotten at all!
     
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