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General Parenting
not so fun night...
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 585118" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>I'm with SuZir and Buddy...</p><p></p><p>We've found (now, remember, my difficult child isn't as old as yours yet, and this is from a few years back... so it may not help <em>you</em> but maybe others who find this thread) that the only negative consequences that worked were so obvious that they actually made sense to difficult child. We haven't had problems with throwing stuff - but if we did, the "you throw it, it's mine" would work. For us, if you lose or break a tool, you replace it. If you damage something, you fix it to the owners satisfaction, or pay a professional to do so. Verbally trash the cook, and the cook won't feel like making your favorites for a while. Fail to put your underwear in the wash and... you have no clean underwear.</p><p></p><p>Taking away computer time as a consequence for non-computer-related behavior? He just wouldn't ever make that connection. Locking down the computer for abusing computer priveleges, works for our difficult child (but he still doesn't like it!)</p><p></p><p>We have put a major focus on helping difficult child find his niche in life, and supporting him on getting an early start on that. Costs us WAY more than even a sport like hockey, but... we get WAY more benefits, too. Lots of step-wise incentives that tie into that whole concept... including "earning" specialized tools that he can't afford to buy for himself by demonstrating behavior associated with the maturity level required to operate the tool(s).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 585118, member: 11791"] I'm with SuZir and Buddy... We've found (now, remember, my difficult child isn't as old as yours yet, and this is from a few years back... so it may not help [I]you[/I] but maybe others who find this thread) that the only negative consequences that worked were so obvious that they actually made sense to difficult child. We haven't had problems with throwing stuff - but if we did, the "you throw it, it's mine" would work. For us, if you lose or break a tool, you replace it. If you damage something, you fix it to the owners satisfaction, or pay a professional to do so. Verbally trash the cook, and the cook won't feel like making your favorites for a while. Fail to put your underwear in the wash and... you have no clean underwear. Taking away computer time as a consequence for non-computer-related behavior? He just wouldn't ever make that connection. Locking down the computer for abusing computer priveleges, works for our difficult child (but he still doesn't like it!) We have put a major focus on helping difficult child find his niche in life, and supporting him on getting an early start on that. Costs us WAY more than even a sport like hockey, but... we get WAY more benefits, too. Lots of step-wise incentives that tie into that whole concept... including "earning" specialized tools that he can't afford to buy for himself by demonstrating behavior associated with the maturity level required to operate the tool(s). [/QUOTE]
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