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Not sure how to reach SD
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<blockquote data-quote="LostSF" data-source="post: 359720"><p>Thank you for the advice and welcome susiestar.</p><p></p><p>Her Mom is in charge of all of the discipline, although she and I discuss most things so I feel I still have a say. I have had to step in twice when she was completely out of control and my wife couldn't handle it to say "that's enough", but twice in four years is pretty fair I think.</p><p></p><p>I'll take your advice and look into some parenting classes. We have some idea of what to do (self-help books, therapy, etc.), but anything more will help.</p><p></p><p>Her Mom is very consequence-focused in her discipline, which from what I've read and heard is the best approach. But up until recently none of the consequences (e.g., grounding) seem to have had any effect.</p><p></p><p>Recently because of several different issues, my SD has lost her priviledges to her stereo in her room, which seems to be having an effect. She's been even more rude and angry than usual since we took it away, and admitted she hates not having it (for every other consequence we've tried, she just says she doesn't care). But it's been kind of a build-up to this, so I'm not sure how much of it is losing her music and how much is her just being fed up with us trying to hold her accountable for her behaviour (e.g., lying, breaking the rules).</p><p></p><p>But despite that, she still won't acknowledge that she's made some mistakes and shows no signs of wanting to change. And she's still continuing some of the behaviour that got her in trouble in the first place.</p><p></p><p>I just know that when we do end up giving her music back, she won't have learned anything (or won't show any signs of learning anything).</p><p></p><p>It's just so frustrating.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LostSF, post: 359720"] Thank you for the advice and welcome susiestar. Her Mom is in charge of all of the discipline, although she and I discuss most things so I feel I still have a say. I have had to step in twice when she was completely out of control and my wife couldn't handle it to say "that's enough", but twice in four years is pretty fair I think. I'll take your advice and look into some parenting classes. We have some idea of what to do (self-help books, therapy, etc.), but anything more will help. Her Mom is very consequence-focused in her discipline, which from what I've read and heard is the best approach. But up until recently none of the consequences (e.g., grounding) seem to have had any effect. Recently because of several different issues, my SD has lost her priviledges to her stereo in her room, which seems to be having an effect. She's been even more rude and angry than usual since we took it away, and admitted she hates not having it (for every other consequence we've tried, she just says she doesn't care). But it's been kind of a build-up to this, so I'm not sure how much of it is losing her music and how much is her just being fed up with us trying to hold her accountable for her behaviour (e.g., lying, breaking the rules). But despite that, she still won't acknowledge that she's made some mistakes and shows no signs of wanting to change. And she's still continuing some of the behaviour that got her in trouble in the first place. I just know that when we do end up giving her music back, she won't have learned anything (or won't show any signs of learning anything). It's just so frustrating. [/QUOTE]
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