When husband and I first met every person in the family had a big family gathering for their birthday. Everyone, from the youngest (which was this cousin's kids) to the oldest (husband's uncle). When we got married I was just expected to slip right in and keep the tradition going, only adding my birthday into the mix. For the first few years I was okay with it, and went along. After a while I got tired of it. I started not doing my birthday. Then I started only having husband's parents and brother for his birthday. I still do the kids, though. husband has a cousin whose birthday is July 2. Every year on the 4th we are expected to go to his apartment to celebrate his birthday. Now, wheni he was married and had a house it wasn't quite so bad. At least there was something for the kids to do. Now he's divorced and lives in a small apartment, which is fine for him, but put 15 people in there and it gets crowded. husband's aunt gets nuts when the kids get loud. Even when they bring stuff to do, they get bored and complain the whole time we're there. Truthfully, I hate going and I resent every year that husband insists that we go. This year I told husband that I was wasn't going to go. If he wanted to take the kids, fine, but he could tell the rest of the family that I was laid up with a migraine. easy child doesn't mind going. difficult child, on the other hand, hates going just as much as I do and I am sure that once he hears that I've "got a bad headache" he will want to stay home with me. I'm not sure what's worse. Going and being crowded and miserable (especially since it's raining here today so we won't even be able to sit outside on his little patio) or staying home with difficult child. Either way, I think I'm in for a sucky day.