Not Sure What Is Worse

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Jul 4, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    When husband and I first met every person in the family had a big family gathering for their birthday. Everyone, from the youngest (which was this cousin's kids) to the oldest (husband's uncle). When we got married I was just expected to slip right in and keep the tradition going, only adding my birthday into the mix. For the first few years I was okay with it, and went along. After a while I got tired of it. I started not doing my birthday. Then I started only having husband's parents and brother for his birthday. I still do the kids, though.

    husband has a cousin whose birthday is July 2. Every year on the 4th we are expected to go to his apartment to celebrate his birthday. Now, wheni he was married and had a house it wasn't quite so bad. At least there was something for the kids to do. Now he's divorced and lives in a small apartment, which is fine for him, but put 15 people in there and it gets crowded. husband's aunt gets nuts when the kids get loud. Even when they bring stuff to do, they get bored and complain the whole time we're there. Truthfully, I hate going and I resent every year that husband insists that we go.

    This year I told husband that I was wasn't going to go. If he wanted to take the kids, fine, but he could tell the rest of the family that I was laid up with a migraine. easy child doesn't mind going. difficult child, on the other hand, hates going just as much as I do and I am sure that once he hears that I've "got a bad headache" he will want to stay home with me. I'm not sure what's worse. Going and being crowded and miserable (especially since it's raining here today so we won't even be able to sit outside on his little patio) or staying home with difficult child. Either way, I think I'm in for a sucky day.
     
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Its a little excessive to have a big birthday party yearly for adults especially, in my humble opinion....but I dont begrudge anyone that experience if they like it, I just would not expect everyone to jump on board. Now for BIG birthdays it might be different....30, 40, 50 etc....Our family meets at a restaurant around a group of birthdays and just enjoys eachother's company. We compete to get funny cards for my dad. I'd be with you, sitting at home...but of course there is the difficult child factor, sigh. I'd still stay home.
     
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I'm with Buddy. I would stay home and allow difficult child to stay home as well. At least there, he has SOMETHING to do. I feel for him being forced to attend these types of things. I hope the two of you have at least a tolerable day.
     
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Hmm. My parents have started a tradition where they take us all out to eat. Due to odd stuff, we've not done this for Jett or my Mom, somehow. I brought that to Dad's attention, this year we WILL! However, that's it. Just the 6 of us (7, starting in October, LOL).

    The only big party we've had was for my parents' 40th anniversary... Told them to come over for a cookout & we had a bunch of people from THEIR lives here! LOL
     
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    difficult child came to me and asked if he could stay home (he wasn't told yet that I had a headache, so he had no idea that I was thinking about staying home). Going without him is actually an appealing idea. It actually allows me to relax a little because I don't have to worry about him and his behavior. Hmmmmmm....what to do, what to do. While staying home is definately the most appealing, leaving him here is also a good option.
     
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Now there's a thought. It's so off my radar to be able to leave a difficult child at home, LOL!
     
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm dressed and put make up on. Guess I'm going and he's staying.
     
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    difficult child 1 would prefer staying home but then after an hour or so my phone would be ringing non-stop because he's bored. Glad your difficult child doesn't do that.
     
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Actually, that's a good "out." You'll surely be bored, and when your cell ph rings and it's difficult child, you're on your way home with-a perfect excuse. :)
     
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Way to make lemonade out of lemons! We have to deal with the zillions of inconveniences connected to difficult child life, why not take advantage of the situation when we can. It's not even a made up excuse!
     
  11. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    We went and difficult child never called, which actually is not all that unusual. The only time he'll call is if he has a question, like "can I eat this?" or "can I do that?" husband and I agreed that we would be out of there by 7:00, so that was what we did.

    Despite the fact that I really don't like going there, it wasn't too bad without difficult child.
     
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Very good. I hope you don't get stuck with-too many events like that this yr. :)
     
  13. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Years ago, we used to have to deal with the same sort of family "garbage." I wish back then I had put my foot down and just said that enough is enough!

    I'm glad you at least got a bit of a break from your difficult child! SFR
     
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